Page 35 of Self Control


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She nodded and gave him an uneasy smile. “You’re probably afraid of me now, aren’t you?”

Biting her lip, she wanted to almost curse herself. Why did she have to say it out loud? That meant she had to hear his rejection in person. She could only imagine what he was about to say—

“I’m afraid of what you can do to me, but I’m not afraid of you, Mykie.”

She didn’t know what to say. Luckily, she was stopped from having to say anything as Dexter approached them.

“Let’s get out of here. I got your information,” he said as he walked past them.

Mykie and Caspar shared a look that said they would have to talk about this later, but Dexter was right. They both followed him out the door, Mykie on his heels and Caspar coming up behind them on his own pace. Mykie felt like she was doing a walk of shame as she wiped her hands as much as she could on her dress. Everything was going wrong. Why didn’t she go to the bathroom and wash her hands? She should have never listened to Jezebeth and brought him along. Things were becoming messier by the second. They had already lingered too long.

She walked next to Dexter and tried to hide her hands as she rifled through her purse. She had to have tissues or something to try to wash her hands.

“I hope you had a good time,” a voice said, startling her. She whipped her head up and stopped walking, her heart pounding a mile a minute. Why was she so nervous? She had done this exact thing a million times.

It was the bouncer from earlier. Could it really be considered “earlier” if they had only been in there for a half an hour? Did he know what had gone on? Was he memorizing her face? Was he trying to stall her until the police came?

“What?” she stuttered.

He gave her a small, polite smile, but his eyes said something else. It was a flash, however, before his eyes matched his smile. “I just hoped La Noir lived up to your expectations.”

She nodded, letting out a breathy laugh as she tried to calm down her heart. “Right, yes. It did.”

Dexter tugged on her arm, and she went along with him. This is why he was her best friend and the person she trusted with her life. He would do anything to protect her, even if that meant protecting her from her own stupidity and embarrassment.

It wasn’t long until they reached their car. In a fluid movement, Dexter let go of her and they circled the car and got in on either side. She leaned her head back into the seat, closed her eyes, and let out a loud sigh. “I’m so stupid. That took too much time. Or not enough time to not to look planned.”

When she opened her eyes, she saw Caspar standing outside the car awkwardly. She gestured for Dexter to turn the car on so she could roll the window down. “Get in. We’ll get you home.”

He seemed too hesitant for a split moment before he made his decision and got in the back seat.

“It’s the least I can do after scaring you half to death,” she murmured as he climbed in.

She gestured for Dexter to drive once Caspar was settled in the car with his crutches. Once they were on the road and away from La Noir, she looked up through the mirror and saw that Caspar was already watching her.

“I already told you, you didn’t scare me. I just realized that you were serious yesterday when you told me you’d have to kill me if I blabbed anything you told me,” Caspar said all in one breath, like he needed to say it all before he regretted it.

“So, what does that mean, Caspar? You’ll stick around so I don’t have to kill you?” Mykie asked.

He seemed to be thinking over her words hard as he looked away. She was surprised by the set look on his face when he looked back up at her. “No. I know you wouldn’t hurt me unless I did something to cause you to have to do it. I trust you, Mykie. You saved my life at work, and I don’t take that lightly. I owe you. I promise I will keep your secrets, if you choose to trust me with them. I…” he swallowed then, making Mykie think he was struggling with himself over the next part, “I didn’t like what I saw, but if you ever needed me to step in for Dexter in any other situation, I would do it. That’s how much I trust you.”

She was stunned. What…What was wrong with this man? He watched her kill someone, and he’s singing his devotion and trust for her?

She glanced at Dexter, who was already looking at her. He already knew what she was thinking, however. “He’s loyal, you have to give him that. You know what that can mean.”

She did. He was speaking of the kind of loyalty that had Chance wanting to adopt her after her father died. The kind of loyalty she had to Dexter, and Jezebeth had to her. The kind that people swore on all the time for the Cantil.

This sort of devotion and swearing of loyalty was heady, though. It was the kind that got men killed and had women taken for ransom in the name of their partners. Any other person would take advantage of what Caspar was saying to her.

“If you’re telling me the truth, you need to be sworn in. The Cantil can’t have you associating with me, and not have some protection intact for you. Especially because you were seen with me tonight.”

“What does that mean?” Caspar asked, leaning forward.

“It means that I need to present you to the Snake King. Just because I approve of you doesn’t mean he will. We can do this on Tuesday. If he says no, it won’t be my choice to let you leave. He will kill you, if I can’t,” she said, trying to be as honest as she could. She wanted him to know that this wasn’t the end of their discussion.

His eyes widened at her admission, but he nodded after a moment. “If it means I can stick around, then I’ll do it.”

She couldn’t hold it back anymore. “Why are you so accepting of everything I’ve said to you? I killed a man tonight!”

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