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Without another word, I bent down and scooped him up.
“Whoa, whoa! I was joking!”
Too late—I had Oliver in my arms and crossed the living room. Oliver giggled, wrapping his hands around my neck. I dropped him on my bed. He bounced on the mattress, and more laughter filled the room. Oliver reached out and grabbed my hands. He pulled me down onto the bed, the mattress sinking underneath us.
I kissed him then, our faces only a feather’s distance apart.
“I’m going to the police with what we found. Juan’s going to jail.”
“I really hope so, Beck.” Oliver took a deep breath. It tickled against my lips as he let it out. “And I hope he’s the one leaving those threats. Because if he’s not…”
Oliver didn’t need to finish his sentence. He closed his eyes. I pushed in and kissed his forehead.
“Derrick would be so happy with tonight,” Oliver said, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He rested his head on my shoulder.
“Tell me about him.”
“Huh?”
“About Derrick. What was he like?”
Oliver stayed quiet for a moment. And then: “He was a walking rainbow. If you think I’m optimistic, Derrick was a hundred times more positive. And everyone around him felt that. He had that gift.” He took a deep breath of air. “He was smart, too. He helped me with so many of my classes, I probably owe my vet school acceptance to him. He was a genius. Wanted to go into the public health field. He wanted to really do some good in the world.”
“How’d you two meet?”
“At the park.” I could hear the smile on Oliver’s face. We had never talked in depth about Derrick, aside from the first interview I had with Oliver at Stonewall. But that was different. I wanted Oliver to share everything with me now, and I wanted Derrick to be just as real to me as he was to Oliver.
“I was practicing a dance routine. It was for the talent show. He was there playing soccer when he ended up kicking the ball and launching it straight toward my balls.”
Oliver laughed at the painful memory. I drank the sound up.
“He came over to apologize. The rest was history.” Oliver choked back a sob. “A really short history.”
“But it was a history that burned really fucking bright.”
“It did. It really did.”
I stared up at the ceiling, holding Oliver against my chest. It was a silence that didn’t need to be filled with words. My fingers made soft swirls in Oliver’s hair, tracing lines over the back of his head. I could feel his warm breath against my skin.
“That night… when I lost him. It’s seared into my memory. More so than all the good memories we shared. It’s terrible. So fucking terrible.”
“You just have to hold on to the good ones. Those are what made the relationship between you two so beautiful. All those good memories you two shared. Hold on to them.”
“I try. But you know what’s really fucked up? I can barely remember howhesmelled but I canclearlyremember how his blood on my hands smelled.” Oliver’s body trembled. I held him a little tighter.
“And the ride to the hospital. I remember that like a movie… Then getting to the hospital, and all the chaos that happened there. I realized then how alone I’d become. Jonah raced to the hospital, but it felt different without Derrick being there. Will was out of town that night—I remember trying to call him. Tyra wasn’t picking up any of my calls, neither were my other friends. Milan, Kiley. Even my parents were asleep and didn’t wake up to my calls. Not that I blame them either; it was late at night. But yeah… it was such a hard night at the hospital. Knowing I’d be leaving without Derrick.”
Oliver cried then. Even his tears sounded spent.
“This is coming to an end, Olly. I promise. We’re going to close this chapter of your past.”
“I really hope so.” He steadied himself and pushed off me so he sat up on the bed. “I want to enjoy the rest of this book.” He looked down at me, his blue eyes still glistening with tears, his lip still quivering.
“Me too, Olly. And I want you to know: you won’t ever be alone again, okay?”
He mustered a smile. It was that moment that told me all I needed to know.
We were going to get through this, and we would be stronger for it once we got to the other side.
