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He closes his eyes when I say his name like that. Opening them, there is a dark intensity there I’ve seen before and recognize.
“Don’t say anything right now. I’ll wait. Don’t fucking care how long. I’ll wait till you’re ready to hear me out. I need to tell you all the things I didn’t say when you needed to hear them the most.”
Tears threaten to spill from behind my closed lids. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” When I open them, I see the same pain that numbs me reflected in his eyes.
“Think about it. Give me that much,” he says, tapping his fingers on the wood.
Trying to find the right words, I nod. “Okay,” I tell him, grabbing a towel from my closet. I need to take a shower and wash his scent from my skin. Him being here brings back memories I tried for so long to forget.
He takes a deep breath and gifts me one of his earth-shattering smiles, and I can’t help myself when my mouth hikes up. When it’s directed at you, his smile is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life.
“You going in today?” he asks, looking like he wants to take a step toward me again but leans his hands against the doorframe instead, not entering. I nod, brushing my hand over the fluffy towel, debating if we should talk about what happened last night.
“Sterling is giving a housewarming party at the end of the month. He invited all the guys and the cousins, and asked me to pass it on to you. Heck, you know George, Paulie, and Denver from back in the day. Would you like to come?” he asks, his voice faltering.
I look at the floor, then up again, meeting his glistening eyes.
“I don’t know.” I bite the inside of my cheek.
“Think about it.” He pauses, a soft smile tugging on his lips. “So see you in the studio later?”
“Yeah, heading out there after some errands.”
He knocks on the panel. “See you, Alice.” My stomach drops and I feel a little nauseous. I was always Al to him, and I loved it. Having him call me by my full name now, with that rough voice, makes me want to hide under the covers till he’s done recording his album.
I watch him walk away, my throat tightening.
I sit on my bed for a long time after the front door closes behind him, reminding me of the slamming doors from our past.
