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Sky
Ican’t breathe. Hunter’s brows descend, and I turn my head away. Clenching his jaw, he grinds his teeth together.
He takes a step away from me. “No, you can’t be. I mean, you’re twenty-one; you can’t die,” he pleads, scared, hurt. “If this is a fucking joke, so help me.”
“No.” I shake my head, trying to stand but I immediately sit, reaching for his hand. He balls his fists, holding them against his body, shaking his head over and over. “What are you telling me?”
“I have Motor Neuron disease.” Even saying it out loud makes me want to scream.
“What?” he asks incredulously.
“ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease is what it’s called,” I tell him.
“What the hell? Is it like cancer?”
I shake my head. “No, but it’s very rare. Only one percent of people get it under the age of twenty-five. Basically, my muscles will slowly weaken, every single part of my body will shut down. I will lose the ability to speak, to swallow, and one day when my body can’t take it anymore, I will stop breathing,” I state, like I’m reading the weather report out loud. I hate that there is no emotion in my voice, but I can’t break in front of him.
He swallows hard. “I thought only older people got things like that.” He closes his eyes. “I didn’t mean … I can’t …” He shakes his head. “What?” He’s lost and scared at the same time.
I try to keep my voice strong. “It’s very rare but younger people can get it too. And the last couple of weeks I’ve gotten a lot worse.”
He paces the room. “How long have you known?”
I can’t stand to tell him. The answer will tear him apart like it is slowly destroying me. “For a while now, that’s why I came back here.”
He stops walking. “What?” he yells. “And Jay? Does Jay know?”
I nod. “Yes, my mom told him.”
“When?” Hunt asks, with anger in his voice.
“The day before I got here.”
He takes a step toward me. “Does Drew suspect? Does he know, Sky? And Timothy?” He is too calm; he’s starting to scare me.
I bite my lip and nod. “Yes.”
He punches the wall, leaving a dent. “And you figured, ‘Let’s not tell Hunter to play some twisted game,’” he bellows. “Make me fall in love with you while you knew this whole time.” He sits on his haunches, brushing both his hands through his hair. “You all fucking knew.”
I reach out for his hand but he stands, backing away from me. “I didn’t want to let my fucking disease destroy us like it is slowly destroying me. I didn’t want you to know, okay?” I have trouble speaking the words. My eyes tear up. “I didn’t want you to look at me like you’re doing now,” I whisper. Fury blazes in his eyes, and a shiver runs through my body.
He runs both hands across his face. His muscles flex, like he’s going to punch the wall again. I lean against the headboard, scared of what he might do.
“I didn’t want to talk about it every damn day we spent together,” I say, not meeting his stare.
His voice cuts through me like a knife. “You made me want to build a life with you, and you knew all along, and were using me. For what?”
I open my mouth, he gets right in my face, and I can’t form the words.
“You played some twisted fucking game, got me to love you, then planned on leaving me, like everyone has done all my life.” His voice is hoarse. “I love you, Shorty. You are not leaving me, get that? I won’t let you.”
I try to hold onto his arm but he shrugs my hand off him. I caress his cheek. “Please, Hunter. Don’t.” A sob escapes my body. I can’t breathe; knowing I’m breaking his heart hurts too much.
He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opens them, I know I’m losing him like I am slowly losing myself.
“Don’t what, love you?” His voice is stern. He’s staring straight at me.
“Please, Hunter. You need to understand I never wanted to fall in love with you. I didn’t need this.” I raise my voice, tears falling on the white sheets. “I love you and I hate myself for being so selfish …” I pause. “… but I love you. I love you so much. It hurts more than knowing I have to leave you one day.”
