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I nod, focusing on the pain. “He promised he would be here,” I say, tears spilling over.
“I know, kid,” Dan says, hanging his head.
He’s alive.I keep repeating those words like a mantra in my head. Layne walks in with Angie on his heels, and I begin to let my tears run free. “Oh, sis,” he says, kissing my forehead. “He’ll be back. The son of a bitch loves you.”
“I can’t do this again,” I whisper for only him to hear, and he knows I’m talking about Ronnie. His death almost broke me. Jesse’s will destroy me.
A kind-looking nurse walks into the room. “Can we give the expecting mother some room?” she asks, checking my chart.
“We’ll be outside,” my brother says, following my parents, Angie, and Dan out the door.
“You’re doing fine, honey,” the nurse says, laying her hand on my shoulder. “Try to relax, and if you need anything, just ask.”
“Thank you,” I say, staring out toward the mountains. “Come back to me, snowboard guy,” I beg, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Please come back.”
I try to yell, but the snow suffocates me. As I slowly open my eyes, the dark room comes into focus. “Come back to me, snowboard guy,” I whisper, staring out the open window.
“I’m right here, Ace,” he groans. I must be dreaming. It can’t be his voice?
“I’m officially losing my mind,” I say, and close my eyes again.
I feel the bed dip, and when I open my eyes, he is lying next to me. “I’m sorry, Lemmy, for scaring you like that.”
I can’t believe it, he’s really here. He looks tired, but a cut below his eye is the only indication he’s been hurt. I slap him hard with my fist against his chest.
“Aw, babe, what the fuck was that for?” he asks, clutching the place where I hit him. “You know I’m hurt, right?”
“For scaring the living shit out of me, asshole,” I yell, hitting him again.
He grabs my hand and smiles. “I missed your sweaty hands, Ace of Spades.”
“Fuck you, you scared me. Don’t ever pull that shit again.”
He nods and runs his lips across my knuckles. “I promise. We were lucky the avalanche went past us, but it was a close call.”
I run the tips of my fingers over the red line on his face.
“I might have collided with a tree when we were trying to get to a safe place to wait it out. I took the first flight out to get to you.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, and his voice cracks while he stares at the machine that’s monitoring mine and the baby’s heartbeat.
I nod. “I lost some blood, but we’re okay.”
He grabs the back of my head and presses our foreheads together. “I came back, babe. You can breathe again.”
We keep staring at each other. “I know, but for a minute there, I thought you were gone.”
“I’m sorry, Acie. The only thing I could think about when it all went to shit was you. “I love you, Ace of Spades,” he whispers.
“When Dan called and told me about the avalanche, I thought about what happened with me and Ronnie, and I just shut down.”
“Are you ready to tell me what really happened?” he asks, linking our fingers together, and waits for me to begin.
“It was just a normal Sunday morning,” I whisper, and my voice cracks. “He wanted to get going, so I was racing through the house, trying to gather my stuff, but I forgot my avalanche pack. When we got there, the sky was clear, and it was cold as hell, but after an hour, the wind started to pick up, and I knew we should have gone back, but he wanted to explore a new part he’d never been before. Before we headed down, he gave me his pack. I can remember him smiling and spreading out his arms while we went down the mountain. After that, only darkness, falling, and then all was quiet. I’ve never heard such silence like that, except for the sound of the snow crushing everything in its path.”
“You’re not there anymore, and neither am I,” he says, kissing my temple.
“I know, but sometimes it feels like I still am.”
