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Saul has updated me on Selena. I made sure to make arrangements for her and get her taken away from that shitty cartel. She's been put in a hotel and given a job at one of our strip clubs. Even though Saul updates me frequently, I can't bring myself to care.
There's only one woman on my mind, and it sure as fuck isn't Selena.
I storm out of the room, down the hallway and into the room I haven't touched since Tallulah escaped. Everything is as I left it. I assume the maids have been cleaning these quarters, because Saul ordered them to.
I don't know why I haven't bothered coming in here before. Thoughtfully, I pick up a hairbrush, staring at her long blonde hairs caught between the bristles. With a groan, I set her brush down. I feel like a lunatic and like I'm losing my mind. I don't know what's going on with me, but every thought, every move I make, is influenced by the memory of her. I can't get over her, and this is a first. Every time in the past I've been with a woman, I used them to my advantage. I never let them get any sort of power over me. Not them, or their cunts.
I thrive on the concept of vengeance. I live for revenge.
But with Tallulah... I'm not even sure I can bring her to justice, because my heart and my mind still treasure her. I want to bring her back, and make her mine again. Show her who owned her all this time. Tell her I'm never going to give up on us.
Absentmindedly, I walk over to the chest of drawers standing in the corner of her bedroom. I run my fingers along the wood. I slowly pull out the silver handle and stare into her underwear drawer.
My handshakes as I pull out a pair of her panties. Lavender colored, made of the finest silk. I don't know if she's worn them or not, but they're fresh and clean. And they smell so much like her it makes me curse out loud.
If I could, I would punch myself in the fucking face to stop myself from yearning for this girl like a goddamn pussy. All she did was fucking abandon me. And yet I can't resist.
I grip the panties in the fist of my hand and inhale their scent, feeling like a sick pervert. I walk over to the bed she used to sleep on, and strip off my pants. My hand wraps around my cock, her panties still clutched between my fingers. I start jerking off. It's the most pleasureful sensation I've had in the whole time she's been gone.
I've tried to get myself off before, but every time I did, I kept her out of my thoughts, fantasizing about faceless, nameless people. Even though I knew deep down every fantasy had her at the center of it.Always.
I keep bringing myself closer to an orgasm I know I won't be able to resist. My hand forces the lace around my cock, which quickly gets wet from the amount of precum dripping down my shaft. I don't want to admit that Tallulah has won this war, but it's a hard job when she's commanding my cock and she isn't evenhere.
I can only hope my search for vendetta and my blood thirst wake up again before I find her.
I can't stop myself from finishing inside her panties. I imagine putting them back in her drawer, keeping them fresh, warm, and wet for her, so every time she wakes up, she has to put them on, keeping me close to her and guarding her like I should have been all along. With a groan, I toss the panties to the side.
I get back up and start going through her things. Her cross necklace is here. Right on her nightstand. I assume a maid must have put it back here after she tried to kill me.
It's back in one piece now. But as I slowly unscrew it, I see where she kept the poison she used to put in my drink. I remember how obsessed she was with that necklace. She never wanted me to have it. And now I know why.
I can resist. I place the silver necklace around my throat and decide to wear it until she comes back to me. Even when she's back here, I'm going to torture her with this necklace, because it was almost the cause of my demise.
ImeetSaulfora meeting later.
I know he's going to question me about Tallulah. It's becoming painfully obvious to everyone in the house, I can't get my mind off her. I'm even more distracted than usual. And if I have to admit it, I will say that business hasn't been what it used to be. Since Tallulah came into my life, and even before then, as soon as she was born, I knew my obsession was only going to grow and grow.
"Do you want a drink?" I ask my partner as I saunter to the bar to pour myself one. "The usual?"
"No, I could do without alcohol tonight," Saul says darkly.
"Something on your mind?" I ask, hiding the fact that I'm wincing because I already know he's going to bring her up.
"You know what's on my mind,padron," he growls. "Sooner or later, we're going to have to talk about it. Talk abouther,and how soon we're going to call out this fruitless search."
"We are not calling off the search," I hiss. "There is no way I'm giving up, not before we find her or figure out what happened to her."
We stare at each other in a moment of uncomfortable silence. I want to scream at him. Tell him to put more willpower and more men on the case. I want to do all that now, and yet I can bring myself to go out there and look for her myself. Up until now, almost two months after she disappeared, I haven't gone out to look for my ward once.
I'm too worried about what I'll find, too scared that I'll encounter some proof of her tragic demise.
"Even if we do find her, Xavier," Saul speaks up. "What are you going to do with her? Are you just going to give her back to her parents? Pretend none of this ever happened? Do you really think Heath and Rain will stop going after you? They'll never give up. You've taken too much from them."
"I gave that boy what he needed," I say. "I gave him the experience he had to have to become a cartel owner, which he now is. He's the boss along with that bitch boy of his, Liberato. I made him the man who he is today."
"Regardless of that," Saul shakes his head. "It's not going to be that easy for them to forgive you, and we both know it. So what's the plan? You find Tallulah, and what happens after?"
"Everything that was supposed to happen all along," I growl back. "I'm going to make her my wife, even if I have to force that ring on her finger."
