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I rolled my eyes, but maybe I didn’t mind dealing with this particular drunk person. Not that I was in any way sober. I pulled open the door, and she stumbled through, nearly going flying on those ridiculous heels of hers.
“Tory, what the fuck?”
She marched past me, swinging the door shut behind her. I caught a glimpse of her two bodyguards in the corridor just before the door closed. They did not look happy. I didn’t blame them. I wouldn’t have liked to be the one to keep this wildcat under control. I’d seen them a lot, and I had the definite feeling that the big one really didn’t like me.
I pushed the door shut and turned to see her glaring at me. “Tory—”
“No. Don’t ‘Tory’ me. I’ve had enough of all this silver spoon nonsense. We’ve known each other since we were kids, Jasper. Now quite fucking around and be real with me. For once. Please.”
Honesty. Why the fuck not? We’d already broken up, and I knew she wouldn’t spill to the press. It might be a relief to talk to someone. To her.
“The woman I met, the blonde. She wasn’t an ex. Not exactly.”
“What was she?” Tory looked confused.
“She owns a club in the city. A particular club that caters to people with certain needs.”
“I see.”
I doubted she did. “I went a few times, got chatting with her... I just needed someone to talk to, and she understood.”
“It was a sex club?” There was no judgement in her voice, just curiosity.
I took a deep breath. “Yes and no. It was a BDSM club.”
“Oh.” She looked at me, and her eyes widened. “Ohhhh...”
I couldn’t meet her gaze, so I looked away. “Yes.”
“So you’re into that? Okay, but it’s the twenty-first century, Jasper. Why didn’t you just tell me? We could have—”
“No,” I said, spinning around. “No, we couldn’t.”
“But... then it’s me. You don’t want me. Not like that, not... any way at all.”
I roared with frustration and threw my glass across the room. It shattered against the wall, the crystal shards raining down on the wool carpet. I rubbed my hands over my face, not knowing what to do, what to say. I couldn’t explain. I didn’t have the words. I felt her arms slip around my waist, and I stiffened.
“Jasper, I hate to see you hurting like this.”
I pulled her arms off and walked away from her. “Don’t. I’m not worth it, Tory. I’m a bad person.”
She came after me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. I looked down into those deep, dark eyes of hers and fought the urge to sweep her up in my arms.
“Jasper, just because you’re into that stuff, it doesn’t make you a bad person. We could have explored it together. You should have told me.”
I shook my head, closing my eyes so I didn’t have to look at her. “No. Tory, it’s not that. The BDSM, I get that stuff, but...” I opened my eyes and looked down at her. “You should go.”
I turned away, but she came after me again. “Jasper...”
I broke. I couldn’t help it. After months of holding back, of keeping control, of pushing her away, I broke. Whether it was the alcohol, that damn dress, or the sound of my name on her lips, I couldn’t take any more.
I whirled round, and in a second, I had her pinned up against the window, my hand around her throat, squeezing. Her hands flew to my wrist. I was much stronger than she was, and she pulled at me with no effect.
“Don’t you get it? I’m wrong. I’m broken. I couldn’t have you because I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself, and you deserve more.”
“Jasper,” she pleaded, her eyes wide as she looked at me.
“I wanted you so badly. Wanted you in my arms, in my bed. But I wanted to hurt you too. I wanted to strip you bare, to have you so desperate for me you’d beg and scream my name... but I wanted to hurt you, I couldn’t help it. Every time I saw you in my mind, naked in my bed, I dreamed of sliding blades across your skin, of seeing your blood trickle onto the sheets...”
