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Jack shook his head. “Gone,” he said through gritted teeth. “Made off in the dinghy. Sorry, boss.”
“We’ll get him,” I stated with certainty. I dropped my gaze to Tory, who watched me quietly, still wearing the mask. She moved away from Jack, letting the blanket drop from her shoulders, and crossed the deck, slippery with blood, to the nearest porthole. The bright lights on deck meant she could see her reflection, and she stood and studied the mask on her face, reaching up to run her fingers over the smooth gold contours. It was a lioness, of course. It never could have been anything else. She stood and stared at it for a moment longer, then pulled it off. She turned to face us, and there was a strange expression on her face, one I couldn’t quite pin down.
Her eyes met mine. “Take me home, please, West.”
I crossed the deck until I stood in front of her. I wanted so much to take her into my arms and kiss her, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have that privilege. Instead, I dropped to my knees in front of her, bowing my head.
“Tory, I am so sorry. I have failed you in every way. I tried so hard to protect you, and yet I ended up driving you away and into danger. I can only plead insanity. I love you so much, the thought of something happening to you made me crazy. I understand if you want Jack or Zayn to replace me as high priest. I will step aside if this is your wish. I just want a chance to make up for everything.”
I looked up at her, my heart in my throat. She gazed down at me, soaking wet, exhausted, and completely and utterly regal. She shook her head and sighed, and my heart dropped, but she held her hand out to me.
“Get up, Austin, and take me home.”
I got up slowly, watching her face for some sign of what she was thinking. Was she forgiving me? I had hoped for some kind of affirmation, some return of feelings as I had bared my heart to her. I had said I loved her, but she hadn’t said it back. Doubt and fear churned in my stomach. I had fucked up so completely, she couldn’t even love me back. Or not yet anyway. I had time. Maybe one day I could show her how much I did care. I picked up the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders again. I noticed she hadn’t let go of the mask, and I wondered why. That was for another day though.
I looked over at the rest of our pride, standing on the deck as the wind and rain lashed at them.
“Home,” I said.
Chapter eight
TORY
Irememberedlittleofthe journey. The exhaustion, hunger, and pure pressure of the last few days weighing on my mind sent me into fits of unconsciousness as my body struggled to cope with what I had experienced. What I did recall was West. His arms were around me the whole time, holding me, keeping me safe, even as I slept, and his voice murmured words to me I couldn’t understand. My mind was closing down to protect itself, and all I could feel was the emotion behind his words. He meant it to be soothing, but it sent my mind spiralling into bursts of regret, anger, sadness, and relief all at once. He’d said he loved me, but was it another ruse to keep me safe? How could I believe anything he said now, even though my heart had leapt at his words and my body craved his touch, as exhausted as it was? Again and again, I dived deep into the darkness of unconsciousness to escape him. Part of me wanted to see the other man again, the one who had stood in the desert and embraced me as though his life had depended on it. In his arms, I had felt safe, loved, and treasured, as though nothing and no one could hurt me, and I craved that feeling again. But he didn’t return.
When I finally opened my eyes, the place was quiet. I could hear the faint sound of birdsong from outside, but beyond that, nothing. I lay and looked up at the ceiling, studying it carefully. I wasn’t at my parents’ house, nor was I at West’s safe house. This place was new. The ceiling was white, with inlaid gold hieroglyphics tracing the edge of the walls. I raised myself up on my elbows and looked around me. The room was beautiful, with white walls and a white marble floor. Beautiful white and gold pillars reached the ceiling, and the ornate bed stood on a platform. Crisp white sheets lay softly on my naked body, and to the side of the bed stood a gilded round table bearing a bronze jug and glasses, as well as a bronze platter of fruit. Above the centre of the room, a glass skylight let light spill into the room, a beautiful blue sky overhead. A sense of déjà vu came over me, and I blinked a few times, trying to decide whether I was dreaming or if this was another memory coming back to me.
I ran my hands over the sheets, but it seemed real enough. Wrapping the sheet around my body, I sat up farther, reaching for the jug to pour myself a glass of water. It was crisp and cool and refreshing, but my body was burning from something that cold water couldn’t quench. As if sensing my need, the double doors to the room swung open, and Jack and Wesley came into the room. We’d clearly been here a while, because they both looked better for a decent night’s sleep and a shower. The slash I saw down Jack’s face the night before had almost completely faded, and Wesley seemed to have found a spare pair of glasses. A memory of him blinking down at me as he tried to focus came back to me.
The two of them walked up to the side of the bed and, to my surprise, they both kneeled.
“Jack, what...”
“My queen. It is good to see you awake. You have slept for quite a while. Do you need anything?”
“Um, yeah... who are you, and where’s Jack? You’re acting weird, and I don’t like it. Stand up, for goodness’ sake!”
He looked up and grinned, then got to his feet and perched on the edge of the bed. Wesley stood near the foot, still looking down at the ground.
“Wesley, what’s wrong? Why won’t you look at me?” Previous concerns flared inside me for a second until he looked up and met my gaze.
“I don’t deserve to look at you, my lady. I have deceived you. I have let you down.” He looked genuinely anguished, and my heart ached for him.
“Deceived me?”
“We all did,” Jack said, taking my hand in his. “We were trying to let you learn who you were on your own terms and at your own speed. The rush of memories really knocked you off kilter, and we were trying to slow the tide as it were, so we kept things from you.”
“We thought you’d remember in time, but we didn’t realise the harm we were doing by not telling you everything,” Wesley added.
I took a deep breath. “Oh, yeah, that...”
“And then we find you, you believe you’re some kind of a monster, and you go running off to get yourself killed,” Jack said.
“Can you blame me? Jabari told me I had killed thousands of people... that I enjoyed it... and West pretty much told me you guys are here to make sure I don’t lose control again.”
“It’s like that,” Wesley replied, sitting down and taking my other hand, which he squeezed tightly. “But it isn’t just that. You ran away before we could explain, even though I realise you have no reason to trust any of us. Please, can we tell you the full story?”
I nodded, and though part of me didn’t want to hear the truth, I knew I needed to.
