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“I’d like to think I do. I’m giving him grace, just like the grace I’ve extended to you.” Helping Emma to stand, I hugged her close. “Do you want to hang out in the living room or upstairs in my room?”
“Will you bring me back to your room? It’s super cozy there.”
“Yes, darling.”
I lifted her into my arms and carried her all the way to my room, loving how naturally the dynamic seemed to be unfolding. Setting her on the bed, I tucked blankets around her. “Rest a bit more, and we’ll talk soon.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
Her eyes sparkled when she called me “Daddy” and having both of them say the title filled up my bucket in ways no one else had ever been able to fill. I grabbed a small paddle out of my dresser before leaving the room. She didn’t notice, her eyelids heavy as she snuggled into the mattress. I hoped Emma never found herself fighting to survive the way she had these past few months. She deserved to be loved, cherished, and adored. I meant it when I said she was special, now only if I could get her to believe it.
Everything was working out exactly as it should.
Chapter 5
Elias
What the fuck was my problem?
Breakfast should have gone off without a hitch, but Luke throwing around rules edged under my skin. I lived to poke at him, and now there would be repercussions. Pacing in front of the window, I barely noticed when Luke walked into my bedroom, pausing long enough to pull the door closed behind him. He had some sort of paddle in his hand, an object which would undoubtedly sting when he wielded it against my ass. Luke sat down on my bed and my stomach clenched in anticipation. And not the fun kind.
“Do you want to talk about what’s really bothering you before or after I punish you?”
“Neither.”
“Not an option.” He patted his thigh. “Come here.”
Crossing the room faster than I typically moved, I arranged myself across his lap. There was something extremely humbling about draping my body in such a vulnerable position over the thighs of the man I loved for so long. He reached underneath my hips, tugging the lounge pants to my knees. Luke slapped his palm against the soft juncture where my ass and thigh met.
Thankfully, I spent most of my shifts standing, because it would not be pleasant when I sat down again. His palm landed a multitude of smacks, each one faster than the previous. Yanking my boxer briefs to my thighs, he traced the curve of my butt before striking each side with the paddle.
“I don’t like it, Sir.”
“You have your safeword, otherwise I’m not stopping until your ass is red hot and blushing. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Luke cracked it hard against my upper thighs. It hurt worse than his belt. A long string of curses fell out of my mouth, and I invented a few new ones.
“Breathe, Lee.”
I breathed through the discomfort. I wasn’t really into pain. The afterglow, the heat, the aftercare–that’s what I enjoyed more than anything. Luke’s spanking cleared my head.
Raining the paddle down on my poor defenseless butt for what seemed like a long time allowed me to process things I couldn’t put a name to. It was like his punishment cut through all the bullshit I’d been carrying around for so long. Being held over his lap granted me the freedom to be myself.
Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I was shocked. His punishment reduced me to tears. I hadn’t cried this hard in a while. Probably not since I sat in his hospital room after performing surgery to repair the bleed in his brain. He had been in the intensive care unit recovering, and it had been the first time I’d allowed myself any sort of break since he arrived at the hospital.
Sobbing alone in silence with only the beeping of machines to break up the moment, I had no idea how long I sat in that uncomfortable chair until the charge nurse found me a cot. My tears had mostly stopped by then, but I could count on one hand the number of people who had seen me cry. I became renowned throughout the hospital that night. Previously, everyone thought of me as nothing more than a cocky kid even though I was in my early thirties, but she treated me like a person. That angel of a nurse washed my face, helped me lie down and covered me with blankets.
I think I slept for sixteen straight hours or more. The stress of the operation and the emotional weight of almost losing my best friend without ever having told him my true feelings crushed my heart.
Trying to catch my breath, I choked.
“I’m not going anywhere, Doc.” Lucas set the paddle down and fixed my pants. “You and Emma aren’t in a competition for me.” He brought me up against his chest, wrapping his muscular arms around my body. “Talk to me.”
“I cried so fucking hard after your accident. Not right away. After surgery.” I couldn’t stop the tears, and futilely brushed at my eyes. “I was such a wreck. There was no one to call. No one else to talk to or work through it. Yeah, I called your Aunt Reese as soon as they moved you to recovery, but I felt so utterly alone. You barely escaped with your life, yet I focused on me.”
“Don’t you dare.” Luke grabbed my chin, arching it upwards so I had to look at him. “You saved my life. I’ll tolerate a lot from you, but never regarding that. I only survived because of your tenacity. If you hadn’t operated exactly when you did—” He cleared his throat a few times.
