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“Jesse thinks I have this Little side.” She shook her head. “But I’m not your Little Girl.”
“No, you’re not.” I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “Would you like to be?” Perhaps I was moving fast, way faster than I told myself I would earlier, while setting the pace in my thoughts. However, I would not let her slip through my fingers again. No, I would show her that in our time apart, I became the man I’d always wanted to be. No longer some young buck who was struggling to do what his parents wanted instead of meeting my own needs. Tanner gave me the push I’d needed to get on a better course, and it seemed like Tiana could use one of her own.
“Maybe,” she finally answered. “Are you and Tanner really hoping for another person in your relationship?”
“It is something Tanner has wanted for a while.” I cleared my throat, stopping myself from telling her everything. How deeply I fell for each new partner and how crushed I’d be after it ended. Tanner always caught me, but after the last one about a year ago, I wasn’t sure if I could go through it again and risk the damage to my heart metaphorically speaking. “I’ve been hurt and dumped more than I care to admit, so I’m a little more jaded.”
She traced a finger over my hand before moving up my arm, her touch gentle and soothing. “Who was stupid enough to break up with you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t in the relationship I needed to be in.” I wasn’t going to delve into past relationship shit with her, at least not today.
“Are there rules I have to follow at your house?”
“Yes, there will be a few general ones.”
Tiana worked her bottom lip in and out between her teeth. “Do you also want to be in the dynamic Tanner and Jesse are into?”
“I follow Tanner’s rules, and they are similar to Jesse’s overall mindset. Is that what you mean?”
“I guess. I’m not really sure yet.” She climbed into my lap, but slowly lowered her body as if attempting not to put any weight on her bottom.
“We can talk more about it later.”
“Okay.”
Tiana had taken the stairs slowly, stood up nearly the entire time she’d been here, and winced when she initially sat on the couch. To my knowledge, the only two people she’d seen today other than myself were Jesse and Tatum. Had Jesse spanked her to get her to cooperate?
I ran a hand through the tiny tendrils that escaped her messy bun. “Is something else bothering you?”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind and I miss you. Seeing you after all this time is nice.”
“I missed you so much, sunshine.”
We stayed on the window seat, not speaking for what felt like a long time. Finally, she pulled back from me.
“I don’t have a lot to offer right now,” Tiana admitted.
“We can take it slow and see what develops. How does that sound?”
“I would really like that.”
I carefully moved her off my lap. “I remembered you used to love to journal and left some supplies on the desk in the corner. Do me a favor?”
“Yeah, it’s not like I can say no after all you’re doing for me.” Sadness filtered through her words.
I wanted to scoop her up and make everything better, but we had agreed to take whatever sort of relationship we were building slowly. “Write down your favorite meals. List anything you’re allergic to.”
“Sure, I’ll do that.” She nodded.
“Good. Tanner works until eight. He isn’t guaranteed home at a specific time, so on the nights when he’s at the firehouse, I eat without him.” I tried to make it sound like no big deal, but I worried about him when he wasn’t home. “We don’t have to wait.”
“Do you ever worry about his safety?”
“I used to, but it’s been well shaken from my brain. Sure, I know he’s in an extremely dangerous career, but we’ve both seen that terrible things can happen no matter what you’re doing, like a freak accident on a normal Tuesday.”
I meant the terrible accident that claimed our friend Marissa’s sister, Trinity, as well as the devastating ordeal Luke went through. Losing Trinity had been a blow to the whole town, but I think it hurt our friend group the worst. I came home for her funeral, but I couldn’t stay long. It wasn’t the time to get into big topics.
“I still miss Trinity.” She nodded sadly. “And obviously what Luke went through.”
