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"No, Katie, that’s not good enough. We have to at least talk about this. There are alternatives to driving yourself crazy sneaking around."
"Stop calling me crazy! I’m not crazy and I’m not quitting my job to appease your ego!"
There!She’d finally said what they’d been tiptoeing around.
Landon took in a long inhale in the silence that followed and re-crossed his arms over his chest. "I never said you should quit your job."
"No, but that’s what’s implied, right? Obviously you couldn’t be the one to give up something."
"You’re right, I can’t give up baseball; it’s who I am. I’d be so unhappy you wouldn’t want to be with me. Even if I wanted to, I can’t just quit or switch teams tomorrow. I have a contract and people that work for me. For my brand."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re a big baseball star, your shit’s more important."
"That’s not what—" Landon sighed. "If this job is your dream job and your end-all-be-all, then you could use the same argument—I wouldn’t want to be with you if you had to quit. But if it’s not, if it’s just a paycheck or a stepping stone to something else, then let’s look at other options. I do have quite a few connections."
"Oh sure, and then when we have a fight or you get tired of me or find someone new, you can make another little phone call to your big shot connections and I’m left with nothing but another line on my resume that says I can’t hold down a job for more than four months. Or ha, probably less given your track record."
Landon shot a hard look at her. "Are you serious right now? You really think I’d do that?"
Katie glared back for a long beat, before her shoulders finally sagged and she shook her head, bringing one hand up to cover her face. She needed to break it off with him, but she was going about it all wrong, hurting them both and embarrassing herself in the process. She was ruining the great time they had together and scarring the memories that were supposed to carry her for a very long time. Maybe this was a discussion that needed to happen over the phone. Then she wouldn’t have to look into those intense blue eyes and somehow still keep her resolve.
"No, of course I don’t think that," she relented. "And I do understand that your career comes with obligations to a whole bunch of other people. I would never ask you to disrupt any of that. But, Landon, I can’t afford to be a dreamer right now. Realistically, our lives are very different and we don’t know each other all that well. We’ve only spent a little bit of time together. What happens when the newness wears off?"
Landon let out a long breath of relief, as if she’d said something that convinced him everything was going to be okay. She couldn’t imagine what, because she’d clearly been arguing the opposite point.
"I don’t know what happens next, Katie. I’ve never been in this position and I’ve never felt this way. I want to find out though. I’m enjoying our time together and I want to see where it goes. Don’t you?"
"Of course Iwantto, but my job is already taking a backseat. I needorder and rules and control in my life. I can’t function otherwise. We’ve been sleeping together for three days and I’m already exhausted."
"Hey baby, a lot of that’s your fault," he said, that irresistible boyish grin back on his face. "You were the one that roped me into having sexual relations with you four times in one day. That much fucking would take it out of anyone."
His use of the word "fucking" eased her anxiety probably more than anything he’d said all morning. He’d been pushing the romance talk pretty hard last night, including that "making love" comment. "Fucking" felt like something she could deal with.
"It was three times," she corrected.
"Didn’t I finger you in the shower yesterday? That counts right?"
"No, it doesn’t." Katie bit her lip to keep from smiling, but that damn dimple in her left cheek gave her away.
Landon looked at his imaginary wrist watch. "Well by my calculations, we could still get in the fourth—ifwe hurry."
Katie’s grin finally won out, snapping the last of the tension. She shook her head at him. "Don’t you have to catch a plane?"
"Yes, but I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay."
He finally crossed the distance between them and drew her into a hug so soothing and safe she wanted to bottle it up so she could curl up into it every night. He rested his chin on top of her head.
"I know, this sucks baby, but we don’t have to figure it all out right now. Hell, we’ve got ten days ahead of us before being seen together is even a remote possibility. Maybe one of us will come up with a brilliant plan in the meantime."
Katie didn’t even remotely think that would happen, but she also didn’t want to completely ruin what could be her last minutes with him by arguing. They could have this conversation on the phone or text or maybe never if some baseball groupie proved too distracting.
So instead of arguing, she drank in the scent of him. He smelled like her soap, yet still all Landon in his t-shirt from the day before. She had a sudden urge to ask him to leave it behind, but he had nothing else to wear and that would make her a silly girl. So she put up the dam and held her tears at bay until the door closed behind him.
chapter 24
Katie kept practicing her "we need to break it off for good" speech, yet never could seem to deliver it. The Mavericks lost the first game to the Rangers with a blown save by one of the relief pitchers and Landon seemed kinda glum when he called. Instead of calling it quits with him, she ended up agreeing to sleep in her white Maverick tank top from then on. "For luck," he said.
Landon didn't play great the next night, but he kept up his streak and the Mavs took the win. After that, the baseball fan in her couldn't bear to upset him, especially not less than a week out from facing off against Johnny St. Pierre. Their rivalry story was hot news in the sports world, along with Landon's wrist. He left the third game early favoring it.
