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13
The sound of the doorbell distracts me as I slice the knife through a tomato, just barely missing the tip of my finger.I put the knife down on the counter and make my way to the door, opening it up to find my brother.
Surprise lights up my face as I say, “What are you doing here?”
He arches an eyebrow.“Is that really how you greet your one and only brother?Not even a hello first?”
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.”I step back, opening the door wider and gesturing for him to come inside.
“Thanks,” he says as he passes me.“Becka’s having a girls’ day with Lainey, Beth, and Gwen after they finish their monthly brunch, so I thought I’d come over and hang out.We haven’t spent much time together lately.”
“I’ve been busy.”
He gives me a knowing look that has a layer of concern underneath.“Taking care of Jolie.”
It’s not a question, and I don’t like the tone he’s using.He’s made it no secret he thinks I should’ve moved on long ago, and I’m really not in the mood to have this conversation again.So instead, I walk back to the kitchen to finish making my sandwich.I’m fucking ravenous after my gym session this morning, and I’m hoping my brother will pick up on my body language and drop the issue.
Unfortunately, Trent doesn’t take the hint.He follows me as I walk away.“Tris—”
“Stop, okay?Just stop.I already know what you want to say, and I don’t want to hear it.”
His shoulders tense and his eyes harden.“Of course you don’t.You never want to hear it, but I’m over watching you torture yourself.”
I slam down the knife I just picked up and meet his hard glare with one of my own.“What part ofstopdidn’t you get?”
“When was the last time you even hooked up with another woman?”
“How the hell is that any of your business?”
He stares at me pointedly, and I give in.I’ve never withheld the truth from him about my hookups, so despite the nature of this conversation and the fact my answer won’t help my case, I decide to continue my honesty.
“It’s been a while.”
More like a year.
Not since Robbie died.
Sex has always just been a meaningless release.I’ve always known I could never have the woman I was in love with—the only woman I was convinced I could make love with.So instead, I had hookups.Never the same girl twice because I didn’t want them to get attached.I knew what it felt like to have unrequited feelings and wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.But more than that, my heart belonged to Jolie.It didn’t seem fair to get involved with anyone when she owned me.
It’s how I know she’ll never love me.Because just like my heart belongs to her, her heart belongs to Robbie.The fact she still wears his ring has made that glaringly obvious.
He shakes his head and his shoulders sag.“I’ve never met anyone as stubborn as you.But this time I’m really worried your stubbornness is going to end up breaking your heart.”
Silence engulfs the kitchen until it’s nearly suffocating.I drop my gaze to the counter while his words feel like they’re being hammered into my brain.
Finally, he asks, “How long are you going to wait around for her before you realize it’s never going to happen?”
He might as well have punched me in the face for the effect his words have on me.My stern gaze shoots up to him, but he holds his hands up.“I’m not trying to be a dick, Tristan.I’m just a big brother trying to look out for his little brother.”His calm, composed demeanor only pisses me off more.
“You realize how condescending that sounds?”
He frowns.“I don’t mean for it to be.I’ve always looked out for you.I don’t know how to do anything else, Tris.I’ve bitten my tongue more times than I can count, but I really think you need to move on.I know you love her, but there are other women out there.You haven’t ever given anyone else a chance.”
Because no one has ever made me feel the way Jolie did with just one look.But I’m not going to bother telling him that.It won’t make a damn bit of difference.He sees what he wants.I understand where he’s coming from; I only wish he’d see my side of it.
“Are you done?”I ask him, resigned that he’s never going to understand why I can’t let her go.You can’t help who you fall in love with.If he thinks I’ve wanted to live like this for the past decade, then he’s delusional.
He rests his hand on his hip, his blue eyes darting back and forth between mine.“I’m trying to understand—”
