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I need to remember that I’m just the consolation prize.
I struggle to hold it together during band practice the next day.I’ve got too much on my mind, and not even the good morning text I got from Jo could wipe away the clouds that seem to be lingering over me since I read Robbie’s letter.
As Kasen and Miles head out, Trent grabs my arm, holding me back.
“What’s going on with you today?”
“What do you mean?”
He arches a brow.“Why don’t we skip the part where you try to feed me some bullshit answer and you just tell me what’s going on.”
I don’t want to talk about Robbie’s letter yet, but I should tell him the truth about how things have changed between Jolie and me.I’m not ready to tell the rest of the band yet, but I want to tell my brother.
“Jolie and I are dating.”
He stares at me like he didn’t hear me.
“Trent?”
“Since when?”he asks, his words slow and composed.
“Since I asked her out.After the last time you and I talked about her.”
He runs his hand over his mouth and jaw before blowing out a breath.My anxiety triples from his reaction.This is not the happy-for-me response I was hoping for.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Are you serious?You can’t even be happy for me for five fucking seconds before you start questioning it?”
“I’m sorry.I’m trying to wrap my head around this, and honestly, I’m a little worried.”
“I’m not going to fuck things up with her.”I don’t tell him my doubts because it would only add credence to his argument.
“I’m not worried about her,” he says slowly.“I’m worried about you.You’ve been in love with her forever.What if this is more serious for you than it is for her?”
My fists clench at my side, and I can barely get the words out as my emotions battle between angry and sad.“You think I’m just a rebound for her?”
He frowns and shakes his head.“Honestly, I don’t know what to think.I’m just trying to make sure you’re in this with your eyes open.I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, you know.I’m a fucking adult.”
That seems to light a fire in him.“It’s my job to protect you!To look out for you!”
I step forward, chest to chest with my brother as I stare him in the eye and speak low.“No, it’s not.You’re not my dad, Trent.You’re my brother.Just be on my fucking side.”
He looks like I just punched him in the face, and I’m instantly hit with regret.We’ve both gone too far this time.Maybe I should go.
Without another word, I turn and make my way to the door.Trent’s voice stops me at the threshold.“I am on your side.Always.If she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you.”
I can hear the apology in his voice, but I’m feeling too many things to turn around and address it.So instead, I give him a tight nod and walk out.
