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42
It should be illegal to look so delicious when you’re supposedly heartbroken.I can see the signs—the strain around his eyes, the tightness of his mouth, the stiffness in his body as if he’s holding himself back from me.
I hate all of it.
But most of all I hate that I did this to us.Now, I just need to hope and pray it’s not too late.That I haven’t lost him for good.
“I made a mistake,” I tell him.
He stares at me like he’s not sure what I’m talking about.We only broke up a little more than a week ago, right?I didn’t have a time warp?Surely, he knows I’m talking about us.
“I don’t want to break up, Tristan.”
His eyes light before he tamps it down like he’s afraid to hope.I push on because I can’t lose him over my own stupid insecurity.
“I love you,” I blurt out.It’s not the eloquent way I planned, but standing in front of him, seeing how much he’s closed off from me means throwing my planned speech out the window and going with my gut.
He stares at me with disbelief and reservation and my stomach clenches.Oh God, I’m too late.
“What?”he says, his voice so soft I probably wouldn’t have heard him if we weren’t standing so close.
I take a step closer, wishing I could wrap my arms around him and kiss him and show him how much I love him.“I love you, Tristan.”
He stares at me for what feels like an eternity, and I would pay every cent in my bank account to know what he’s thinking.Then, in the blink of an eye, he’s grabbing my arms and hauling me to him in a kiss that curls my toes.I let out an indecent moan into his mouth.I missed him so much.What was I thinking that I almost let this go?
He pulls back and his eyes are a little wild.“I know I’m not your first choice, but I’ll take whatever you’ll give me, Jo.I’ll take it all like a dying man in the desert being offered water.Because I know you will always be the only woman for me.You’re it.I’m okay to always be second best if it means I get to have you.”
My heart clenches painfully in my chest.How have I screwed this up so badly that he still believes he’s not who I want?
I loved Robbie, and a part of me will always love him, but in the last year and a half I’ve realized how much Robbie worked to keep us exactly as we always were.He never pushed us to grow.He never challenged me in ways that made me better, stronger.He forgot birthdays when he got busy, holidays, and even our anniversary a few times.He kept us in a box and I let him.I was content with that life because it was all I knew.
I know better now.
I know the love of a man who always shows up, who never forgets a single thing that’s important to me, who pushes me out of my comfort zone, who loves me when I’m difficult instead of just walking out or acquiescing to me.
I know what a truly devoted love feels like.
Because of Tristan.Because of this painfully beautiful man in front of me who thinks I don’t love him as much as he’s always loved me.
I run my hands through his hair, and he closes his eyes in bliss before opening them and leaning toward me like he’s going to kiss me again.As much as I want his lips on mine, I need to clear this up first.I hold his face in my hands and make sure he’s looking at me.
“You were never—and will never be—second best, Tristan Bridger.I choose you now, and I’ll choose you always.You’ve imprinted yourself on my heart in a way no one else ever did.And honestly, that’s what scared me the most and why I pushed you away.What I feel for you is so much more than anything I ever thought was possible.You brought me back to life, Tris, and you made me love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
Robbie will always be my first love, but he made me promise to love again, and I’m going to stick to that promise now that I’ve found an all-consuming kind of love—a love I only thought existed in movies or romance novels.
“You choose me?”he whispers, his beautiful blue eyes staring at me like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen.
I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his lips to mine so I can kiss him, because I’ve missed him and can’t stop myself, and then pull back.“For as long as you’ll have me, I choose you.”
“Forever,” he says on a breath.“I want you forever.”
My mouth curls into a radiant smile.“I was hoping you’d say that.”
We don’t crash through my house like I expected we would.Instead, he picks me up and carries me into my bedroom like some kind of knight in shining armor saving his princess.I can’t deny he saved me, but I kind of think I might’ve saved him a little too.His eyes are already brighter and happier than when I first saw him at Trent and Becka’s house.All the tension in his face has faded, and now it’s just a pure love shining through.
I don’t think my heart could beat any harder if it tried.
He lays me down on the bed and slowly pulls off my shoes, then my socks, then my pants and underwear, working his way through every article of clothing on my body until I’m bared to him.His eyes feast on my nakedness, narrowing hungrily when he sees how wet I am for him already.
