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Despite the circumstances, I find myself devouring it. Clinging to the small emotions that are penetrating the fog now that he's here. Those emotions? The oneshebrings me. Those are the ones I live for. He brings me peace while making me feel alive. More than that though, he makes me feel seen in a way no one else ever has.
Except her.
"Stop," he repeats, his voice firm, then softer, "let me make you feel again, Eli." The murmured statement makes me shiver. He doesn't miss the small movement. He smirks. "That's it," he coos, "be a good boy and focus on me. I'll make it better, I promise."
With a shove at my chest, I'm pushed to my back. My body tingles even though he's not yet touching me. It's as though just the thought, the knowledge of what's to come, is enough to slowly bring sensation back to my numb limbs. I want to watch him, see him as he makes good on his promise, but I opt for feeling. I close my eyes and hand over complete control, knowing without a doubt that he has me.
He. Has. Me.
And oh, how he does. Truly, completely, utterly. He's had me all along. Even when he wasn't ready to admit it to anyone, including me. He had me before he even knew he wanted me. Back when we were just teenagers, clinging to each other for comfort. I knew even then and I waited for him. Knew he would be worth it, no matter how long it took. In some regards, I'm still waiting. Waiting for him to be comfortable with us, with what we are. Comfortable defining us, going public. I'll continue to wait, even if it takes forever. Even if it never happens.
I want Isaac in whatever way he will give himself to me. I want all parts, every single piece. I want him in every stage, and I will be here, ready and willing when he finally accepts all that we are, that we have the potential to be. What is the point of being irrevocably in love with someone, wanting to spend your life with them, if you aren't willing to grant them the grace of being ready? Of growing, healing, and learning.
We are both fucked up. In so many ways. Big, ugly, gritty ways. Yet, he accepts me, cares for me, loves me, if not in his own way. He would die for me and never lets me forget that. So what if he isn't ready to shout our relationship from the rooftops or kiss me in the middle of Central Park? It will come with time, or it won't. But this, here and now; it's everything. Having Isaac Niccolò Russo on his knees…for me?
Fucking. Everything.
The feeling of my boxers being tugged from my body distracts me from my revelry. My body is mostly back to normal now, the medication having already kicked in. My brain is no longer foggy. I can now move and speak if I want to. I force myself to focus on him and not lose myself in the slow and steady barrage of emotions that are trickling back in.
"Feel me, Eli. Feel my hands on your skin. Pay attention to the way it makes you feel." His voice is just as much of a smooth caress as his skin on mine. His rough, calloused hands from days lifting weights and training, glide across the hairs on my thighs as he makes his way up toward my cock.
My mind sways, alerting me to the fact that I'm not hard yet, not fully. Normally, I would be. But right now, whether from my emotional dip or my medication, I'm struggling. Before I can fall into a bout of self-deprecation, completely killing the mood, he distracts me. Zac's hands which were traveling slowly, teasingly, skip all preamble and grasp my cock firmly. My body jolts as though I’ve been electrocuted.
"I want to trace your piercings with my tongue. Bite them, make you feel the hurt. Do you want that?" I groan, his statement penetrating and taking over the forefront of my thoughts. "I need the words, Eli. Tell me."
"Yes," I rasp, my voice thick and pained, almost as though I'm hungover.
His tongue flicks out, licking the tip of my cock. It jerks in response, and I could fall down and cry happily. Blood rushes southward and with a few more licks, I'm hard. "You're such a good fucking boy, aren't you? Hard and throbbing in my hand. So fucking sexy."
I grunt in agreement, my hips thrust forward as I try to encourage him. He chuckles darkly but obliges, probably knowing that just as quickly as I was able to get hard, I'm likely to soften just as fast. His mouth drops down, not wasting any more time teasing me as he takes me into the back of his throat. My hands shoot out of their own accord and grip his hair. It's then that I realize his hair is down and loose, the way I love it. I had been so out of it before that I hadn't even noticed.
"Fuck," I pant as his tongue curves along the underside of my shaft, playing with my Jacobs Ladder while still sucking me deep. My hips thrust up again, taking advantage of his giving mood as I slam my cock into the back of his throat. Normally, I'd get my ass beat for topping from the bottom. Zac is a control freak and I'm just as happy to be tied to the bed as I am to receive his punishments, but right now, I need to give him my cum.
He continues to let me fuck his mouth as he plays with my barbells, alternating between tugging with his teeth and licking them. I tremble in response. His hot, slick mouth rivals the sensation of a perfect, tight cunt. Isaac's head skills are incredible. The only other person who sucked my cock with as much vigor and talent was Violet.
Thinking of her reminds me of that night we shared together and even though I try, I really fucking try to keep other women,her,out of the bedroom when I'm with Zac, but, for tonight, I give in.
I think of the way she crawled to me, naked, tear-strained, and sloppy with Zac's cum and her drool dripping down her chin. The way she smiled up at me adoringly while I caressed her cheek and offered her my cock. The way Zac and I fucked her at the same time. Him in her perfect, sweet cunt, me in her tight, hot ass.
"That's it, baby," Zac murmurs as he pops his mouth off of my cock. It's then that I notice I was fucking his mouth at a punishing pace. I'm instantly filled with guilt. Jesus, I was fucking my boyfriend while thinking about a chick. Zac pauses and considers me in that all-knowing way of his. I close my eyes, not wanting him to see it but knowing he will. "You were thinking about her, weren't you?" he asks softly, and I'm surprised when I don't find any jealousy or anger in his voice.
My eyes open, locking with his. I consider lying or maybe ignoring him completely, but that’s not us. Not behind closed doors. He and I are stripped down to our shells within these walls. I nod once, gritting my teeth, and preparing for the rejection.
He cocks a rare, lopsided grin and gives my dick a rough squeeze. I grunt, thrusting into his hand. "I think about that night all of the time," he offers quietly. I gasp in shock. It's the first time he's ever openly admitted that.
"I think about the way she begged me to use my belt." He increases his pace, jacking me off as harshly as I fucked his mouth. “It was one of the sexiest moments of my life. She looked so fucking hot with my belt marks across her ass, didn’t she, Eli? All swollen and pink for us.” I grunt in agreement, picturing Violet splayed before us, crying out for more of everything we had to offer.
“The way you sucked my cock while I watched Renz fuck her perfect pussy. His hands wrapped around her throat when he spit in her mouth. The way shebegged for it." He bends down, sucking on the head of my dick, flicking his tongue, and moaning at the flavor of my precum.
Zac pauses, long enough to suck one of his long fingers into his mouth, soaking it with spit, before moving down to my puckered hole. He wastes no time sliding into me and pumping leisurely as he goes back to work, deep-throating my throbbing cock.
I let out a loud moan, begging for more, lost to the sensations he’s offering. We have a plug that he’s used on me a few times during blow jobs. He’s even gone as far as to demand I wear it all day, in anticipation of what’s to come. He’s training me, and I’m eager for more.
Pulling off he adds, "The way it felt when we took her at the same time. I fuck my fist to that memory almost every day. The feeling of your cock sliding against mine, with her in between us. She took us so perfectly, baby." He emphasizes with a curve of his finger, rubbing my prostate in the most delicious way.
Groaning loudly, I shove his head back onto my dick just in time to blow my load down his throat. He takes it, all of it. Licking, sucking, and softly biting my cock piercings through my entire orgasm while rolling my balls in his fist with the opposite hand. He milks me to the point that I want to cry or laugh in ecstasy. My thighs shake and even though I know I'll probably pay for it later, I yank him off my cock by his hair so I don't pass the hell out.
Isaac licks his lips and chuckles before biting on the soft flesh of my inner thigh,hard."Oh, you are so going to pay for that later, fucker."
