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The sight of them is fucking adorable. Hands down, the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and if I didn’t have to pee like a drunken girl in a nightclub, I’d totally be down to stay here forever. Unfortunately, I’m one sneeze or cough from turning this into a completely different kind of kink-fest that I’m not sure I’m up for.
With the same care you’d give an explosives expert dismantling a bomb, I disentangle myself from the men and crawl out of bed. Eli immediately rolls into my spot and wraps himself around Isaac. Without a second thought, I dive for my phone on the nightstand and snap a few pictures of them.
Quickly, I dash to the bathroom on silent feet to take care of business. Dropping down onto the toilet, I sigh as I relieve myself but grimace at the discomfort from the rough and thorough fucking both men gave me. It was incredible, don’t get me wrong, and the soreness that I’ll likely feel for days is something that I love but crap, it feels like they fucked my uterus.
As I wipe myself off, I find a gross mess left behind from earlier. We’d all been too exhausted to get up and clean ourselves. When Eli and Zac had offered, I pulled them back down onto the bed to cuddle, and there we remained. I am definitely regretting that choice now. I consider taking a shower but decide the noise would likely wake the boys up and settle for a quick sink freshen up for now.
Flashbacks of the fun afternoon I’d spent with the guys flit through my mind as the water warms up. Isaac had taken me to a fancy sex shop to get supplies for today as well as a ton of other random items that I look forward to experimenting with. I still cannot believe what he did to me while we were there. He literally blew my fucking mind, and I'm not just talking about the orgasms, though, they were incredible. It was the rest of it. Hisgiftfor me. No,for us.Part of me thinks he's off his rocker, the other part is that much more obsessed with him for doing something so overwhelmingly thoughtful and sweet.
And it was a sweet gesture, if not a little eccentric. Okay. A lot eccentric.
After we'd left his shop, we'd had a quick lunch before swinging by my house so I could finally wash off Joe’s blood and get a change of clothes. Isaac had informed me that Joe is in critical but stable condition. He's apparently with their medical staff in their penthouse. The explanation had honest to God, blown my mind. It will no doubt take me a while to wrap my head around their insane lifestyle.
Isaac had also given me some details about their lives but said that the full conversation would be best had with all three men in a private location. Not wanting to argue and ruin our wonderful afternoon, I had agreed and neither of us brought it up again. However, it hasn’t stopped me from wondering. If anything, it’s only made me more curious.
“Jesus,” I murmur, as I set about wiping down my sticky thighs. “Sex wasn’t this messy last time.”
I pause, the washcloth falling from my hands, as a wave of panic hits me fast and hard. We didn’t use any protection and they both….
Suddenly, I find it extremely difficult to breathe. They both fucked me without condoms, and I’d been so damn lust drunk that I hadn’t even thought to protest. I’m not on birth control nor did I even think to get on any considering we onlyjustreunited.
Apparently, they’d either been too caught up in the moment to consider the ramifications or they, just like a lot of men, believe that any single woman of childbearing age is on birth control. News flash, they aren’t and I’m not. Not that I have to give any type of excuse, but it fucks with my cycles, and wearing a condom is a much simpler and less substantial solution.
I continue to spiral by the second and suddenly, the need to grab my shit and flee crashes into me with an unbearable force. Taking a heaving breath, I run into the bedroom to do just that. Blindly, I move around the room in search of my clothes and purse, all the while my brain continues to swirl with panic.
This is bad. Bad, bad, bad.
We only just got together. Things are still confusing and messy. We haven’t had a chance to talk long-term and who knows if they even want a kid. Not to mention, there’s still Renz to think about. I have no idea how or if he even fits into my future but my feelings for him are intense and won’t go away overnight, if at all. And there is still the massive conversation about theirjobsand safety to be had.
The Mafia.
Yeah, a baby with two, possibly three mafia daddies just isn’t going to work and there is absolutely no way they’d want one.
As I scramble around the room, I end up tripping over something on the ground and stumble into the bed. My eyes dart up to the boys, checking to see if they’re awake, but find them both exactly where I left them. My eyes scan over their sleeping forms, cuddled and softly snoring, and something inside of me shifts at the sight.
If I left right now, in the dead of the night, after what we just shared, am I any better than them?
Guilt hammers down on me so fast and hard, that my knees buckle.
Eli and Isaac are good men. They messed up when they walked out but hurting me was never their intention. They’ve both apologized and are actively trying to make things better. They’ve each given pieces of themselves over to me, opened up, and let me see how they truly feel.
They genuinely care about me.
They want to give us a real shot at being together. We haven’t discussed the ins and outs of that yet, but does it matter? Is the extremely slim possibility that our mistake today results in a pregnancy worth walking out on this? On them?
My eyes roam over their bodies once again and my heart squeezes painfully.
No. No, it’s not worth it. I don’t want to fuck this up.
Sighing, I lean down, bracing my arms on the foot of the bed, and breathe deeply.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll talk and figure things out. I’ll go to the pharmacy for a Plan B, we’ll discuss protection, and everything will be fine.
They are…. they’re my boyfriends. They won’t walk out on me again.
Right?
It’s then that I realize what my panic had truly been about. Yeah, we definitely have a lot to discuss, but that will come with time.
