AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“But you did.”
“Yeah, babe, I did. That hypervigilance thing you got going on? I have it too, it’s been kind of ingrained in me.”
“Because of your family? Because of who they are? What they do?”
P.J. arched a brow in question.
“I asked Layla about you, too.” Juliet felt a sudden sense of pride at obviously catching him off guard. “Then I did some research.”
“Should I be flattered?”
“Not at all.” She gave him a small smile. “Well, maybe a little.”
P.J. shook his head and wondered if he would ever stop being surprised by this woman.
“Well, you’re right. I come from a place, a family, where it’s important to see through the bullshit, straight through to the character of a person.” P.J. explained the best way he knew how.
“Your motorcycle club. The Hells Saints. You took over as president when your grandfather died. You were named after him, and that tattoo you have inked over your heart? That’s in honor of him. He left you a legacy. Hard men. Hard lives.” She said softly.
“Yeah.” P.J. nodded. “My legacy. My family. I loved the club. I still love the club. That sense of brotherhood, the power, the hunt, the tension, the race against the law. It was like a total adrenalin rush all the time. Being a part of that was like jumping off the highest cliff and knowing that whatever you did, where every you landed, someone would be there to break that fall.”
“And yet here you are, living life large in small town America?” Juliet puzzled.
“Yep, here I am.”
“That’s a pretty big change…” She pressed on for more details. Partly because she was sincerely interested in his story, and partly in an effort to deflect P.J.’s interest from her own story.
“Tale for another time, babe. We’re talking about you now, right? So, your question is how did I know that you were in trouble?”
“Let’s call it a situation.” Juliet interrupted. Becausein troublewas not a phrase that Juliet liked to use to describe her set of circumstances. It seemed to her to be self-indulgent, and there were just too many layers, too many levels of the word. The girls and women that Kenny had killed had beenin trouble. Being kidnapped and slaughtered by a madman meant thatyour life was in trouble. Juliet had been so much more fortunate than that. She had only been left to deal with the fall out and the guilt of those heinous crimes.
“Situation. Sure, we can call it that.” P.J. shrugged. “Anyway, I learned to read people, to look for things that would give me a feeling, an instinct about a person. And I know women who have been in your position before.”
“I seriously, seriously, doubt that. This is not what you think it is. Not at all.” And once again, the horror of her past reared its ugly head. Because Juliet knew what P.J. was thinking. She knew that he probably thought she was running from an abusive relationship, from a husband who beat her. How sad that Juliet wished that that had been the case.
“Well, then enlighten me.” P.J.’s tone had begun to shift. He seemed impatient, frustrated. “Because from the minute I met you, Juliet, that’s all I have wanted was answers.”
“But you never asked the questions.”
“No. I never asked because you never gave me the chance.” P.J. crossed his arms over his chest. “And besides, I knew you’d lie.”
Juliet remained silent because there was nothing to say. What P.J. had said was true. She would have lied to him then. And to Juliet’s shame, she knew that if P.J. pressed and probed her now, she would still lie.
P.J. knew it too…he saw it in her eyes, in the way she turned from him. P.J. felt a surge of anger rise within him. Because here they were, back there again. Back to that black, hooded, haunted place.
“Talk to me, Juliet.” He said in a voice that was strong…commanding.
Juliet’s eyes lit with conflicted emotion when she answered him. “I don’t know what you want, P.J. But whatever it is, I can pretty much guarantee that I can’t give it to you. I don’t want to lie to you, but I won’t tell you the truth either. I won’t share my sad story.” Juliet exhaled as if releasing an age old burden. “The thing I need most is to put the past behind me. I don’t need to talk about it or make peace with it. Or even be rescued from it. There is nothing you can do or say that will help. The only chance I have is to forget and to start over.” Now Juliet pulled the sleeves of her sweater over the scars on her wrists. “The only way I will survive the past is to bury it.”
“Are you saying this stops here? That this thing between us stops now, Juliet?” The violence of his disappointment made P.J.’s jaw clench while the biceps that were crossed against his chest tightened and flexed.
“I’m saying I’m not available in the way you might need me to be.” Juliet tried and failed to stop the tears that welled up in her eyes.
“Because of him?” P.J. snarled.
“Because of me.” Juliet said brokenly.
“Who’s the picture on the license? What does that woman have to do with you, Juliet?” Then P.J. threw his hands up in the air in angry accusation. “Juliet! Hah!” Is that even your goddamn name?!”
