Page 38 of Becoming Juliet

With shaking hands, Juliet reached into her purse and pulled out the vial of pills. She had not touched the meds in months, but she had held on to them for emergency purposes. And this was definitely an emergency. She slipped three of the small white tablets under her tongue. When Juliet looked up at the screen again, Kenny’s face was gone and had been replaced by the NFL’s starting lineup.

“Hey, Babe.” P.J. sat down on the stool next to her and reached for a wing. “Sorry that took so long. Hey, are you okay? You’re white as a ghost. And you’re shivering.”

“No, I’ not okay.” Juliet said weakly, still trying to gather her wits. “My stomach’s upset. I think all that driving and then the spicy chicken…excuse me.” Juliet put a hand over her mouth and shoved her way passed P.J.

P.J. and the bartender watched as Juliet beelined it to the restroom.

“Do you have any idea what that was about?” P.J. asked.

But Tom Brady had just been sacked by the defensive lineman, and the question was lost in the loud cheers of the customers.

Juliet ran with shaking legs into the restroom. She went right to the sink to splash some icy water on her face. Then she moistened several paper towels, sat on the bench, put the wet wad on the back of her neck, and her head between her knees. Juliet breathed in deep while the image of Kenny ricocheted through her mind like a rapidly fired bullet. If it hadn’t been for the network who flashed Kenny Brewster’s name on the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen, Juliet would not have ever believed that that was him.

All at once Juliet was filled with a sudden and unpredictable emotion. She sat straight up as she felt an extreme weight lift off her shoulders. The realization hit her in full force and served to shine a light into all the shadows and dark corners of her mind.

She hadn’t known who he was.

Juliet couldn’t explain it. She couldn’t rationalize or define why, after one suicide attempt and months and months of being treated at a high priced insane asylum, that it was ultimately that picture of Kenny that finally released her.

Juliet had always believed that the man had been trapped inside the monster, but now, Juliet realized that the monster had been trapped inside the man. For the first time ever, Juliet felt sorry for Kenny. And she forgave him. Not for the slaughter of the innocents, those sins were not hers to forgive.

But for the rest of it, she forgave him.

And that forgiveness set her free.

P.J. looked over at Juliet as she slept with her head propped against the car window. His chest puffed out just a little when he thought about their lovemaking the night before.Ha…lovemakinghe let out a soft chuckle. It was a good phrase, and one that he had never, ever, thought would apply to what happened between himself and a woman in his bed. P.J. could think of a whole bunch of other names he had used for it, but the wordlovehad never crossed his mind.

What happened between Juliet and P.J was like nothing he had ever experienced before. In truth, P.J. had never known that kind of depth of feeling existed. When he thought about it, like he was doing now, it amazed him. Looking across the seat to her, he really thought that they might have a chance. It almost made him regret sending Juliet’s wallet to Jules.

That night that P.J. had found her wallet in the mud it had almost been game over. He had reached for the wallet, had meant to open it, but then the strangest feeling had come over him. The story of Pandora and her box had been the one thing that he remembered from high school English class.

As P.J. remembered it, the story had been about a god named Prometheus. Prometheus had thought that he was a badass and stole fire from heaven to give to a world of men. What Prometheus had done totally pissed the rest of the gods off. So, as payback, they created the first woman, a beauty named Pandora. The king of the gods, Zeus gave her a gift. It had been a pretty box, but the gift had come with a catch. And the catch was that she couldn’t ever open that box. No matter what. But Pandora, being a badass herself, was having none of it. As soon as Zeus was out of the picture, Pandora took that lid right off. And when she did, out swarmed all the trouble in the world. And the hell of it was, none of it could be put back.

So, taking the myth as a cautionary tale, P.J. had decided not to open that wallet. However, after that whole car in the mud thing, Juliet and P.J.’s relationship had stepped up a couple of notches. And he had decided that he wanted to keep that momentum going. As a matter of fact, P.J. intended to ask Juliet to move in with him. But before he did that, he was going to have to know all there was to know about Juliet, and she still wasn’t talking. Bringing her into his life meant bringing her into his family’s life. Although P.J. was confident that nothing in Juliet’s past could change the way he felt about her, it wasn’t about that. He had the family business…the club to protect.

And so, with that in mind, P.J. had finally decided to send the wallet off to Uncle Jules. Now P.J. McCabe was only hours away from finding out all he needed to know about Juliet Jones. And he hoped that the matter of that other identification that Juliet carried with her could be easily explained. Because, frankly, he had bigger fish to fry.

It had been the Saints president, Jet Matthews who had called last night to alert P.J. that there was a problem with the guns. P.J. had always been willing to take the gamble of storing the illegal weapons in his warehouse, because it had been a calculated risk. The weapons were never stored for long at the shop, and the right palms had been heavily greased to look the other way during drop off, pick up and transport.

But now it was a big election year and Senator Jayworth, who had been on the Saints payroll for years, was losing in the most recent polls. To gain advantage, his opponent had been spending boatloads of money on negative campaign ads targeting Jayworth on everything from taxes to gun control. Which meant that Jayworth had to spend boatloads of money to fight back. Recently, he had been making noise and getting greedy. Dumb bastard. P.J. had never liked the Senator. He was in his seventies now, and his ties to the club went back over thirty years. Because the Uncles knew him better than anyone, Jet had arranged a meet with the family to discuss the matter while P.J. was home. So much for a nice relaxing stay.

But the trip wasn’t all about P.J. either, and he knew that. It was about Juliet and the fair play he felt he owed her. If he was entitled to all he needed to know about her, then that pendulum had to swing both ways. P.J. felt he owed it to Juliet to show her where he came from. It was only right that she saw firsthand what he was all about…what the club was all about. Because for better or worse, the Saints were still a part of him and always would be

The botched execution of his godfather had sent P.J. on a tailspin. It had made him question everything he believed in. It made sense that P.J. had needed to step away. But P.J. had since made his peace. And now it was time for him to come home.

It was something he intended to talk to his father and eventually Juliet about.

A lot was riding on this trip.

To Juliet’s relief, P.J. had booked them into a hotel for the week. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t wanted to stay with P.J.’s parents but…she hadn’t wanted to stay with P.J.’s parents. Meeting them would be one thing but sharing a bed in their house with their grown son was another. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like the idea to stay with his parents had even crossed P.J.’s mind.

The hotel that P.J. had made the reservations for was perfect. It was a newly built, modern building whose footprint took up a whole block in the town. The beds were soft, the sheets were one thousand thread count, and the pillows were plump with down feathers. A large indoor pool, a sauna, and a full spa completed the picture. It was just the thing to help Juliet relax, unwind, and refresh. Since the epiphany she had had about Kenny, Juliet felt lighter, happier and for the first time she had hope for the future. It was over. She had survived the worst, the very worst that life had to offer, and now she just knew that a bright future would be her reward. Juliet couldn’t help but hope that P.J. might become a part of that.

In keeping with that optimism of the day, Juliet booked herself in for a full spa treatment. Since she knew the P.J. would be occupied with business for the club all day, Juliet decided that a fresh look for a fresh outlook was in order. Besides, she wanted to make a good impression on P.J.’s family. P.J. was totally on board with the idea, and he had given her the keys to the truck for the day. Juliet was hesitant at first, but after she had taken it for a couple of turns around the hotel parking lot, she got the hang of driving the large truck and found to her surprise that she liked the idea of all that power underneath the hood.

Now armed with renewed confidence and a forty-five dollar cheesecake. Juliet headed to the McCabe home. She would be about an hour early for dinner, but Juliet didn’t think anyone would mind. She was just about to push the doorbell when she heard P.J.’s voice coming from the side of the yard.

“Hello?” Juliet called out as she stepped around to the back corner of the house.

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