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CHAPTER1
Bria
“Why areyou staring at me like that?” A frown marred my features as I looked up from my dirty clothes to my twin sister, Carina.
When we were young, we’d looked exactly alike. With the same wavy, brunette hair that reached to the middle of our backs as well as the same fair skin, small nose, and defined cheekbones. All of this was accompanied by soft, plump lips.
We took different paths in the family business as the roads in life changed our circumstances. Just like our personalities, our appearances became vastly different with an individuality of our own.
People had always struggled to tell us apart, but around high school, Carina had gotten tired of constantly being mistaken for me and vice versa. She said she needed her own identity.
I didn’t understand why she needed it, I was happy being her twin. It made us special, and connected in a family that had no true family values. Only a facade that needed to constantly be sold.
We’d been the spitting image of the perfect Italian family, and it was tiresome keeping up with that level of scrutiny from others. We had to be the example, and rebellion wasn’t tolerated. Not without intense consequences.
Carina had changed things to set herself apart from her heritage. She felt that if she could change enough about herself on the outside, she felt she could hide from who her family really was. No matter how much I tried to convince her that there wasn’t any way to deny where we came from.
She’d bleached her hair a dirty blonde color before cutting it off to shoulder length. Now, she looked bold and sexy on the outside. It was a look I wished I could pull off. It had to be an attitude thing, because we were twins, but I wasn’t ever running from who I was. I learned to embrace it. To let the dark parts of me come out and thrive in the dirtiest parts of our world. It allowed me to be feared. As a woman I wouldn’t be respected the way I yearned to be, but I would make men clutch at their balls and worry if I were coming for them.
I’d taken a different path, and while my frame was petite like hers, I had harder angles and muscles. Years of training to take over my father’s position had shaped me differently. I had to do twice the work to be compared to any of the men in the organization. I had to harden every part of myself, from the inside out.
Many days when I saw the girl in the mirror, she was just a little too rough around the edges to be considered what I felt society viewed as pretty. I’d seen things that had changed my core personality.
Carina and I were different in so many ways that sometimes it was hard to imagine we were twins at all. When I looked into her dark eyes—something she couldn’t change, they still matched mine—I saw the same girl I’d spent my whole childhood protecting.
The girl I was still protecting now. Her shy and gentle demeanor on the inside was another way in which we differed. I was a jump first kind of girl and dealt with the consequences later if necessary. There were always consequences and battles to fight in the family life. I molded myself to take them head on.
Whereas, she was more cautious and wanted to make sure that it was safe before doing anything that would cause waves in the family or her life. She was too delicate and innocent. I would protect her until my last breath—someone in this family had to. It was a responsibility that I’d never questioned.
“It’s because you’re covered in blood.” Her voice was full of concern. “Are you okay?”
I felt guilty for worrying her, I had thought I could make it in, change, and back out of the house without seeing her. If I’d known she would be home, then I would have just showered at the modest studio apartment of the man I’d just destroyed. I hated when she had to see me this way. The stress it caused her.
I was covered with a man’s blood, it wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, and for those sins, I would have to talk to my maker later about the reasons I’d taken his and every other life.
Carina had been my only real family through our teen years. Our shared twin bond gave us a unique perspective on trust that wouldn’t have worked if we’d had other siblings. I would swear on my soul that I could feel her pain and she could feel mine. So I knew I couldn’t hide her from what I did, but I could spare her the imagery. I worried about the nightmares I’d probably given her over the years. I couldn’t count how many times she’d asked me if it was my blood. She’d learned to stop asking that question because every time she cringed at the answer.
Our bond and love for each other was all we had. My parents might still be alive, but they hardly acted like a mom or dad figure should. Between my parents, I didn’t know who was the worst to have to deal with these days.
My mother was barely making it through each day, she was the husk of a once vibrant woman, but my father, Marco Montrelli, was so consumed by rage and this intense need for revenge that he’d deserted his fatherly duties without an ounce of care or thought. I would have seen less of him as my father than I did of my mother which was almost never.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t just my father, he was the don of our mafia family. Anything to do with my father was always about business and never personal, so I didn’t really feel that I saw him in the father role very often. But respect and dedication would always be required of me. He would expect nothing less.
At times, when I lay alone in the dark, I tried to peel back the memories of before, of a happy family, but I didn’t ever remember that being the case. I only remembered being a showpiece. I tried to place the loving father and devoted mother, but nothing came to the forefront. Only the life of representing the family.
“I’m fine,” I said. They were the two words I constantly repeated in my mind whenever I thought about the disaster my life had become. If I said them enough, they might actually come true. The lies to my sister weren’t only for her benefit.
From the look on Carina’s face, she was aware the words couldn’t be further from the truth. While she never pushed issues like I did, she would wait until I was ready to talk. Being the more patient twin was something I’d always appreciated about Carina.
She frowned. “You won’t be soon.”
“What are you talking about?” My brow furrowed as I stopped in my tracks. Her words held a hint of doom to them.
“Father has summoned you; he spoke with Joey.”
“Did he?” I asked and tilted my head to the side. I worked at keeping my annoyance at bay.
“Yes.” Her hands were shaking and her eyes took over the doe eyed look which meant that she was extremely anxious about this meeting.
