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The first tear falls after the doors close. Standing in the elevator car, I fall against the back wall and my shoulders start to shake as I cry. Alone and feeling rejected, I let the tears fall as I process what just happened. I went from the highest of highs, and with one breathy whisper of my name, to the lowest of lows.
Realizing I’m not moving, I look to the panel and realize I didn’t push any buttons. With a shaking hand, I reach out and press the button for the ground floor. Wiping at my eyes, I try and compose myself. Digging deep, I put on my brave face and with my head held high, I exit the elevator and make my way outside.
The concierge hails a taxi for me and opens the back door when it comes to a stop. Nodding my thanks, I climb in and give the driver my address. The door slams closed and I sit back in my seat. As we pull away and out into the early-hours morning traffic, I begin to cry again. The tears stream down my cheeks like a waterfall as I fall apart.
The driver keeps checking on me in the rearview mirror. Sadly, I smile back at him and before long, we pull up at my apartment. Paying the driver, I go to climb out when he says, “I hope it all works out for you.”
How does he know?I nod and smile but it doesn’t reach my eyes. Closing the door, I watch him pull away. Turning around, I walk toward the building. Letting myself inside, I step into the waiting elevator and it whisks me up to my floor.
Entering the apartment, I’m happy to find that Nicole isn’t home. I don’t want to people right now. Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I head to my bedroom. Taking a sip, I place it on my bedside table and then strip off my jeans and shirt. When I remove my bra, I begin to cry harder when I see the pink, thinking back tohimseeing me in this earlier. Ripping my panties down my legs, I grab the offending garments and throw them in the trash can. I don’t ever want to wear them, or pink, ever again. It will only remind me of this heartache.
Naked as the day I was born, I walk into the en suite and turn the shower on. Climbing in, I slide down the cold tile wall and pull my knees up. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I rest my forehead on top. The water beats down on me as I cry my broken heart out.
Crushes are meant to stay that, they aren’t meant to evolve because when they do, it’s nothing but heartbreak when they eventually reject you. I know Mr. H and I can never be but when he kissed me, fuck me sideways, I thought all my Christmases had come at once … only for it to come crashing down. I never want to hear my name pass through his lips again, I’m done with Mr. H. He can eat a fat chocolate dick.
ChapterFifteen
Iknow earlier I thought fuck the consequences, but I didn’t imagine the immediate ‘ohh fuck, what have I done’ feeling to smash into me when I came to my senses after the best fucking kiss of my life … with my best friend’s daughter. And that ‘ohh fuck’ moment hit me again when I saw how broken and hurt Calliope was. I was more upset seeing that than when my wife left me. This, right now, is so much harder to bear. I never should have crossed that line, I’m an asshole. Plain and simple.
I’m
An
Asshole
But we can’t do this, there’s too much at stake. There’s also the fact that she’s twenty-three. Twenty-fucking-three years old and I’m forty-five, that’s twenty-fucking-two years older than her. Plus, her father is my best friend. How can I do that to him?
I’m an asshole, that’s all there is to it.
Calliope may hate me now but in the long run, it’ll be for the best … even if it was the best fucking kiss of my life, but there’s also a teeny tiny part of me that thinks it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have pushed her away but it's done now, I can’t change that fact. I need to focus on the future … without Calliope.
Falling to the mattress, I stare up at the hotel ceiling, wondering if I have completely fucked up my relationship with Calliope.
The next morning I’m woken when the sun rises because I fell asleep with the curtains open. It’s a beautiful day outside and I need to clear my head, so I change into sweats and a shirt, grab my running shoes, and head out to the park.
An hour later, I’m all sweaty but still feel like shit. I can’t get that heartbroken look on Calliope’s face out of my head. Picking up my phone, I send her a text.
KANE:Morning, Sunshine. Hope you got home safely. I’m sorry about what happened last night.
With the text sent, I strip off and climb into the shower. My phone pings and knowing it will be Calliope, I climb out. With my towel around my waist, I pick up my phone and my eyes widen when I see it’s not from Calliope but her dad.
GARRICK:Kane, any chance you can check on my princess for me before you come home?
Yes,I think to myself. I’d love to but she doesn’t want to see me ever again, so for the first time in our friendship, I lie to my best friend.
KANE:Will see what I can do but it’s not looking good
GARRICK:Bitchifer giving you hell?
KANE:Actually no, for once. I’m waiting to sign the official divorce papers.
GARRICK:About fucking time. So happy for you
KANE:I’ll be happy once they are signed off by the judge and it’s official official
GARRICK:Dinner and drinks to celebrate when you get back?
KANE:Deal
