AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Jesus,” I say, flattening my palms against his chest to push him back. I can’t help but look down at the part of him that’s been very busy this afternoon. Instead of Jack’s beautiful anatomy, a flesh-colored sock masks the details of what I know lies underneath. A weird relief comes over me that at least Niks didn’t have access to the real thing.
He seems to read my mind. “Good lord, Gilly. Did you really think I’d be all free and clear in there?”
“I… I didn’t know what to expect.”
He runs a hand through his hair, which is so stiff with spray it sticks up like a line of weeds. “I thought I made it clear I didn’t want you on set for love scenes.”
Anger pops like a firecracker in my chest. “Not my call.”
He slaps a hand on one of the weapon racks, knocking swords together in an ear-splitting clang of metal. “For fuck sake, none of it’s real.” He’s on me in a flash, catching my head in lion-paw-sized hands. Thumbs press into my temples. “Clear out the mess in your head about Niks and me, will you?”
I break his hold. “And how am I supposed to do that when, by your own admission, there’s a secret between you two that I’m denied access to?” Before he can interject, I stab a finger in the air to stop him. “It’s not just the scene. I saw you two cuddling up and whispering afterward.”
Jack lowers his lids. I can’t tell if calm or fury will be in those wild Atlantic irises when he opens them. I seize the opportunity to put a few more steps between us in case it’s the latter.
He speaks with eyes still shut. “I don’t know how to explain things so I’m not the bastard here.” Then he’s looking at me with that straightforward honesty that dumps my heart into his hands. “It was Niks’s first ever intimate scene with her own body, not a double. It shook her up. It’s goddamn embarrassing when you come right down to it, but there’s nothing for it. We do it because it serves the story.” He closes his robe and ties the sash. “You, being a writer, should appreciate that and not crush my balls over it.”
It’s next to impossible for me to believe Niks wasn’t all-in for a few hours in bed with Jack, choreographed or not. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you two looked pretty tight after Alan called ‘Cut’.”
“I was being kind, not loving on her.” He moves in very slowly as if I’m a horse about to rear. “Do you believe me?” I don’t back away. I want him near. I want to be in his arms.
Jack lays his hands on my shoulders. “Gilly, I’ve been trying to get to you all week. Why are you locking me out? It’s got my insides in a snarl.”
I lay my hands on his. “Mine, too, but we don’t have a choice anymore. Meg painted a pretty damn clear scenario.”
And then I am in his arms. Jack’s touch flattens all my best intentions at resistance. He rests his cheek against the top of my head. “There’s got to be a way ‘round her doomsday predictions.”
If only I could believe him. Stay here in the dark where no one can intrude on what we’ve found in one another. The stink of Nik’s perfume on Jack’s skin snaps me back to reality.
The dark.
The lies.
The secrets.
The snuffing out of what should be celebrated.
I reach behind my back where his hands are clasped and twine my fingers through his. Gently laying them on the lovely bed of springy hair covering his chest, I shake my head. “I can’t do this again—be with someone andnotbe with them. I won’t be an object to be valued in the dark and then denied in the light of day.”
“I’m not him, Gilly.”
“No, but this situation makes you have to act like him.”
I hear the rumble of Jack’s anger rise in his chest like a curtain of steam. “How can you compare me in any way to that bastard? Have you no trust in me at all? In what I feel for you? Where’s the faith?”
“I can’t have faith in something that will ruin me.”
I might as well have clouted him on the head with one of the maces hanging against the wall. His look of absolute devastation is unbearable. I turn away.
“Ruin you. That’s how it is then?” His breath comes in short huffs.
“You heard Meg. Your future is bruised, but mine is finished if we’re together. There’s no way around it. I’m making the same mistake I made before with Treat. I’m sublimating myself for an ‘us’ that is impossible.”
“Stop throwing that man in my face. I am not him and won’t ever be.” Jack moves close to take my cheeks in his fingers. “‘Us’ is a beautiful thing to me.”
Tears roll down my face. “To me too. I wish there was a way, but there isn’t. If you care for me, please let this go.” I pull his face to mine and lay a soft kiss on his lips. “Let our beautiful thing stay beautiful before it blows up in our faces.”
Jack walks backward away from me. “You’re the one kicking it to shit.”
