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His success, not our success.
He rubs a hand across his chin, eyes searching the far-off hills. “Hey, when you’ve done your time here, we’ll cash in on your connection with the show.”
GoodGod.Treat Graham is deaf to the fact I walked out of his life. I’m standing right in front of him, and he still doesn’t see me. What misfired in my brain to believe this man ever valued me at all? “Let me be clear. I’m never coming back to you or Lawson Graham Premier Sportswear.”
Treat gawks at me. “What? Isn’t this Irish thing temporary?”
“Even if that were true, our arrangement is finished.” I should have said these words to him the day I knocked Bobby cold back in L.A.
“‘Arrangement?’ That’s what you’re calling us? I took you to meet my mother and stepdad. That’s more than an ‘arrangement’.”
I flash back on our trip to Oregon. I really thought we were about to turn a corner and be a real couple, shouting our togetherness to the world. But then he said he adored me, not loved me. How naïve I was to have fallen so completely for his con. I step back. “I saw how important our arrangement really was to you when you dry humped Lanie Blesch against a tree. Did you take her to meet Mom after I left?”
His face goes as gray as the dusky clouds gathering overhead. He moves in so quickly I don’t have time to counter. Hands grasp my hips. “I am so sorry. That was me being an idiot. Don’t you know I’ve adored you since the first time I met you?”
And there it is. Adored. The ugliest possible word he could have chosen.
“Gillian, I want to be with you. It’s been hell for me since you left.”
To the casual observer, Treat is his dapper self, but I see smudges beneath his eyes and a slump to his shoulders. Neither of which moves me at all. “Since I left you, Treat. Do you get that? I left you.” I peel his hands from my body. “But why would you? According to you, we didn’t exist, so I didn’t think I needed to spell it out.”
He attempts to approach, but I hold him off.
Frustration shades his voice. “You agreed with me to keep things quiet. My father would go nuts if he knew about us.”
“I agreed at first.”
Treat looks baffled.
“You promised we’d move past the secrecy. Promises, Treat. Have you conveniently erased any memory of your promises to stop hiding our relationship?” I let out a laugh. “Of course, you have because you didn’t mean them.”
“For Heaven’s sake, Gilly.”
“Real relationships don’t come with an escape hatch. You were always ready to chase after someone brighter or shinier than me. I just didn’t want to see it.”
The crew streams down the hill. Treat throws a flustered glance over his shoulder. “Come back to my hotel room. We’ll discuss this in private.”
I look deeply into the eyes of the man I tried to convince myself I loved and admit I never did get past only wanting to love him. There can’t be love where there is no trust. I never loved Treat Graham. My spirit lightens as the emotional burden of Treat floats away.
There is someone I do love and trust and value and believe in. Jack O’Leary. The short time we’ve known one another does not matter. Jack showed me who he truly is without reservation. He gave me honesty and love. I’m the one who kept holding back. Looking at the man in front of me and feeling nothing heals the gouge that Deidre saw in my soul. She was right. Jack is my blue sky. Love for him fills me like the richest honey.
“Will you come with me, Gilly?”
I give a tiny start of surprise. My heart has traveled so far from Treat that it seems ludicrous he’s still standing here.
“Why?”
“Because I want to be with you. Go back to the way things were.”
I’ve been such a fool. Being with Jack O’Leary is not a mistake. What we have is the way love is supposed to be—genuine and full of light.
I lay a hand on the shoulder of my past. “Oh, Treat. Never settle for what we were. There’s so much more to wish for.” I kiss the cheek of this sad, sorry bastard. “Goodbye.” A few steps down the path, I turn back. “Say hi to your dad for me.”
ChapterTwenty-Three
Ihave to find Jack. Please, God, don’t let me have ruined things with him because I convinced myself I was repeating the same mistake. Jack and I are nothing like the sham I had with Treat. I have to tell him how much I love him. Screw Meg, True Time, and their scenarios. We’ll outplay them all. I choose to be secret with Jack because the decision belongs to both of us. Our reasons are sound, not a manipulation spawned from either one of us, the way Treat forced secrecy on me with no choice.
In Jack’s eyes, our togetherness is something delicate and precious, not a selfish omission of the truth. If I let him, he’d skywrite the way he feels about me over the Ring of Kerry. I will partner with him and find a way to make us work because we are love, and love deserves whatever sacrifices honor it.
