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“I like this one,” I said, as one of my favourite tracks came on.
Rick turned up the volume. “Sing it, baby,” he said in a stupid voice.
And I did, I did sing it. My sad little heart picked up, and I laughed and sang the high bits even though my voice squeaked like a chipmunk when I lost the note.
He clapped when it was over, turned the volume back down.
“Man, we really need a night out,” he said. “Drinks and dancing and a huge fucking blow out.”
“Yes,” I said. “That sounds good.” I sighed, letting the tension of the stable disappointment fall away. “That sounds really great.”
“We still need to celebrate. You still did fucking ace this week, remember that. We need to party.”
I’d all but forgotten my triumph at work, a little thrill zipped through me. “It’s early days.”
“Early days, but you aced it. Carl said you were awesome. He’s so proud.” He squeezed my knee. “So am I.”
It made me blush. Maybe I was a just a little proud of myself, too.
The nerves started up as Rick turned onto their estate. The thought of facing Carl both excited and terrified me. Would he be cold again? Intimidating again? Closed off at the thought I couldn’t be the one they wanted?
Couldn’t I be the one they wanted? Was this inevitably doomed? The idea hurt.
Rick pulled onto their driveway. He turned off the radio and triggered the roof, and I fiddled with my seatbelt as we waited.
“Don’t look so scared,” he said. “We’re home. It’s all good.” He squeezed my hand. “There’s nothing to worry about, Katie, for real. No pressure.”
“I know… I just…” I let out a breath, unclipped my belt. “Let’s go.”
He opened the front door with a big smile on his face, ditched his keys on the side. “Honey, I’m home!” he called, and his voice was so warm, so silly.
I followed him through to the kitchen, and there was Carl, leaning against the island with his tablet in his hand, a mug of coffee by his side. His attention was on what he was doing, some work business, no doubt. I’d seen the same expression often as he crunched figures for sales meetings and client calls. But there was something else there, too. Maybe it was the grit of his jaw, or the uncharacteristic ghost of stubble, maybe even something more, something untenable, some kind of… sadness.
He was wearing a shirt, black and simple, over dark jeans. His hair was styled differently, slightly less slick than usual, probably towel dried, and he had no shoes on. I don’t know why that affected me so much, I don’t know why the sight of his bare feet on the tiles gave me flutters inside. I don’t know why seeing him so casual and off guard made my breath catch, made me feel hot and breathless.
He put his tablet down as he caught sight of Rick, his eyes full of questions.
And then he saw me. There was shock as his gaze met mine, a long moment of amazement as I stepped into the kitchen. And then there was a smile, a nervous smile that made my heart do a weird little flip.
“Katie,” he said, as though I’d been gone a million years.
“Surprise,” I said, and it sounded so dumb.
Rick slapped his arm as he walked by, gave him a playful smile. “Couldn’t keep her away. I tried to ditch her in Much Arlock, but she was having none of it.” He flicked the kettle on and gave me a wink. “I guess we’ll just have to put up with her.”
“Guess you will.” I poked my tongue out. “Tea for me, please.”
“Andshe expects hot beverages.” He mock groaned. “So demanding. I don’t know why we put up with it, Carl.”
But Carl wasn’t listening, wasn’t buying into our stupid banter. His gaze was intense and constant, green eyes eating me alive. My heart did another weird flip, and I felt like I was falling. I stood still, watching him right back.
“Hey,” I said, just like that. One stupid little word and I felt my cheeks burning.
I didn’t know what he’d say, but he didn’t say anything at all. He put down his mug and closed the distance between us in a couple of quick strides. He folded me in his arms, and kissed my hair and held me tight. He smelled of bodywash and citrus, and him. My cheek pressed to his chest, his heartbeat against my ear, and it was warm there, safe there. Everything felt so right there.
His chin rested on my head, his arms solid as they gave me a squeeze.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for what I said, I’m sorry about the yard.” He breathed into my hair, kissed me again. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
