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I feigned ignorance. “Say what?”
“You know what. You never fucking say it.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, admiring the view. “Surely Little Miss Horsey hasn’t got you running insecure? I barely even touched her.”
“This isn’t about her,” he said. “It’s about us.”
I pulled a face. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’m being serious, Carl. Can’t you just fucking say it?”
“I love your tight little asshole, Richard. I love it very much.”
“Fine.” His eyes darkened, and his shoulders turned rigid, his movements jerky as he pulled his clothes from his chest of drawers.
I laughed. “Sensitive this morning.”
“Just… whatever, Carl.”
He pulled on some boxers and I rolled my eyes at his back. “Seriously. You know I don’t need to spell this shit out. We’re not five, Rick. What do you want? Little love hearts and flowery kisses?”
“Whatever.”
“Christ, Rick, what’s this even about?”
He folded his arms and faced me, and his gaze was firm. “Why can’t you say it?”
“I can,” I scoffed. “I’m just not so… gushy.”
“You can’t,” he said. “It makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t answer.
“Is it because I’m a guy? I thought you were over all that?”
My words came out harsh. “Iamover all that. I’velongbeen over all that. Fucking hell, Rick, that lasted a fucking week, at best.”
“What, then?”
I scowled at him. “Like I said, I’m just not so extravagant with my words. What difference does it make? I’m here. You know exactly how things are.”
“Maybe I want to hear it. You always want it straight up from everyone else. Why can’t you say it?”
“That isn’t even vaguely the same thing.” I got to my feet. “That’s a ridiculous parallel.” A dark strip of lace peeped from under the covers. I pulled it out. Katie’s knickers. Without thought, I held them to my nose. Breathed her in.Nice.
“I just want to know. It’s good to hear sometimes.” He sighed. “Unless you don’t.”
I ran the gusset between my fingers. “Unless I don’t what?”
“Feel like that.”
“Like what?” The lace was fine, and the scent of her was glorious.
Rick slapped the chest of drawers, uncharacteristically irritable. “Just forget it.”
“And you’re going to be all hissy now, are you?”
He shrugged and he was walking away. Rick never walks away.
