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“Um, Nick?” she asked, her voice small. “About the condoms…”
“Yeah? What about them?”
“I, ah…I brought an alternative, if you want to use it,” she burst out. “I have a diaphragm. It’s just been sitting around in a drawer for ages, and I would love to…well, only if you want to.”
She waited expectantly for a response, but he didn’t move a muscle. His face didn’t change. He just stared up at her.
She was nonplussed and started to falter. “Um, of course, I can only use this assuming that you’re not planning on, um…this is kind of awkward, because we’ve never discussed the simple ground rules for our relationship, what with all the life-and-death drama—”
“You mean, I can’t fuck anybody else,” he finished.
She didn’t have the nerve to speak after that blunt rejoinder. She could only wait. And wait and wait.
“I’m not,” he finally said, his voice flat.
Something relaxed inside her. She’d been lecturing herself, reminding herself that she had no objective reason to demand exclusivity from him. She’d been bracing herself for being brought up short and sharp.
But he hadn’t. Hehadn’t.She swallowed over a joyful lump. “And you, um, won’t?” she asked delicately. “For the duration?”
His hands tightened on her hips. “Duration of what? Of our affair, you mean? You see an end point to it? Nice of you to tell me.”
His harsh tone made her panic, like things were slipping in a direction she’d never intended. “No! That’s not what I meant at all! It’s just, you know, a thing I said. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Then don’t say it.” He got up, breaking the circle of her arms, and walked away, staring out the big picture window, his broad back radiating intense emotion as only his could.
He shrugged off his jacket. “It goes both ways, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Becca finally succeeded in getting her bustier unhooked. “What are you talking about?”
“About you not fucking other guys.” He shoved his shirt off.
“Oh. That. That goes without saying.”
“I want to hear it said,” he said. “Out loud. Just like I did.”
It was hard not to laugh at his intensity, when she considered her spotty track record with men. Hah. As if she would when she had him.
“I will not have sex with anyone but you,” she said quietly.
He undid his belt, shoved down the pants. His broad, thick erection sprang out, stiff and swaying. At the ready. He gripped it, fixing a steely gaze on her. “Don’t even look at other guys,” he said softly.
“I’m not,” she said simply. “I can’t. All I can think about is you.”
Her face went beet red at that admission. She looked down quickly, pulling off the garter belt and untangling the ribbon ties of the panties. When she finally got it sorted out, he was right in front of her. Vibing his hot energy at her, scorching her with his hungry gaze.
“Good,” he said thickly. “That’s how I like it.”
He reached for her, but she stumbled back, arms out to hold him at bay. “Wait, wait. I haven’t put the thing in, so please don’t melt my brain yet. Let me pop into the bathroom and see if I can get it in.”
“I’ll help. I’ve got long, strong fingers. And there’s no place on earth I’d rather put them than up your tight, juicy—”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” she cut him off crisply. “I’ll muddle through it alone. If you’ll excuse me.”
“Fine. I’ll wait for you out on the deck, in the tub. Hurry up.”
She fled to the bathroom with her cosmetic bag and collapsed on the edge of the clawfoot tub, doubling over the shaky knot of emotions. Laughter, tears, fear, amazed disbelief, that she’d come so far, so fast. Like a snowball rolling downhill, gaining crazy momentum.
She pulled herself together, squeezed some jelly into the latex device, and started. It took a lot of false starts and struggling and cursing. She’d never used the damn thing enough to develop any skill at inserting it. She finally got it lodged in what she sincerely hoped was the correct position.
