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“Live, motherfucker. Watch your tongue. There’s power in the blood. Power in the words. Power in the heart.” A small, torn piece of paper lay on the table between them. Judge picked it up and fiddled with it, rubbing it between his fingers like a damn booger, then flicked it.
“Peter won’t talk to me.” Cain sniffed, then crossed his tattooed arms, pouting with bunched lips.
“Lil’ Pete is a teenage boy whose father is locked up in this hellhole, and he blames you for all the shit going on in his life. He’d blame you even if you’d been a choir boy. That’s what teenagers do. Hate their parents. It’s their job. He’ll be all right. He’s only thirteen.” Jude shrugged.
“Hell, when you and I were sixteen and seventeen, Jude, we were fuckin’ grown as far as I was concerned. That ain’t much older than him.”
“That was us. Not Peter. He’s got a kid’s mind, just like he’s supposed to. We were forced to grow up fast. Don’t put our fucked-up birthright on him.”
Cain nodded after mulling what he’d said.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s wild though. We paid bills, lived in an apartment, started a fuckin’ empire. We watched over our kin. We had money. Cars. Women. Lots of ’em.” Cain pitched him a sleazy grin. He caught it and tossed it right back. “You know what I miss most about the free world? I miss being with women, man. The look of ’em, the way they sound… the way they move…” Cain’s voice trailed at the end, and he moved his fingers about, as if smoking an invisible cigarette. “I’d give a fuckin’ finger to smell some pussy right about now, motherfucker. Ain’t nothin’ in here but fairies offerin’ bussy, and the few female correctional officers in here are either snitches, or ugly with nasty attitudes. The thought of fuckin’ ’em never crosses my mind, but I imagine eventually, I might get so desperate that I may ask.” Cain ran his hand along the side of his face. He seemed listless, exhausted. “Just let me catch a cute blonde with some big ass tits and a nice smile strolling through here… lift her little skirt and let me just…”
His brother closed his eyes, nostrils flared, and wore a squalid smile as he imagined it all. “Just a little whiff… a touch… a taste… Just a little bit… I never wanted for nothin’ until now. That’s the curse of prison. You ain’t gonna ever be up in some warm cooter ever again. At least not therealthing. We had the world in the palms of our hands. Remember?” He slowly opened his eyes, his smile remaining.
“The women?”
“Yeah, the women. Some of them were ten years our senior when we were still teenagers. Beautiful babes we were screwin’ on a daily basis. It’s a wonder our dicks didn’t fall off. How many women you got now? Three? Four? Or are you settled on one for a change? You’re getting long in the tooth, playboy. Wild oats sowed?”
“I’m lowkey right now.” Jude tapped the table with his fingertips. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another guard pick up the five-dollar bill, shove it in his front shirt pocket, and mosey away. “Not worried about any women.”
“I know you’re not the marryin’ type, but one day, Jude, you’re going to need someone you can trust.”
“You hate your exes though, and I trust myself now. That’s enough.”
“Naw, you’re gonna need a partner in crime. If not that, at least somebody you can come home to and take a damn load off. You’re gonna burn out. Fast. You’re going to get tired of the bullshit and want to hang up your cape.”Cain can see inside of me, just like I can see inside of him. He knows I can’t argue about this. It’s the truth. This shit is definitely getting old.“Set up roots before that happens, Jude. That’s how you’ll know the woman is really down for you. She needs to meet Judge,beforeshe meets Jude…The monster, before the man. I had a good thing and fucked it up. She hates my guts now. Don’t be like me.”
Their gazes hooked. Judge yawned.
“Cain, I’m good. Don’t need the aggravation. I fuck when I need to, then send ’em on their way. I prefer to just hop on Tinder or something like that, meet up, and after… poof! She’s gone.” They had a good laugh at that. Then Cain drew serious again.
“I worry about Peter.”
“I told you not to. He’s just a kid.”
“Age ain’t got shit to do with’ it, Jude. He’s got my blood. Sheltered or not. You know we’re poison… Watch my boy. I told him I don’t want him following in my footsteps.”
“I’ll watch him.”
“I can’t get through to him. He hangs up when I call, or his mother says he’s not there ‘because he tells her to. I’m sure she’s in on it, too. You know she hates the ground I walk on. Maybe you can.”
“Maybe I can what?”
“Get through to him. You’re the one that’s good with words. You can sweettalk quicksand into turning you loose and sell ice water to a fuckin’ Eskimo. He likes you more than me anyway.”
“Oh, cut the bullshit, Cain. I ain’t come here for no damn pity party. The birthday cake is fuckin’ horrible, and I’ve never been a fan of balloons.”
“Seriously… If something happens to him, Jude, I’m gonna—”
“I said I’ll watch him, Cain. I’vebeendoing it, haven’t I? I’ll have a talk with him though. You have my word.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck, massaging a kink. “I see him a couple times a month when I stop over. I make sure he and Sherry get their bills taken care of. Just like you used to do. Last week, when you and I spoke on the phone last, he even asked about you. I told him I was coming to see you. See? That’s progress.”
“Really? What did he say when you told him he was coming for a stopover?” Cain’s eyes glowed with promise.
“That you should go fuck yourself…”
Cain lowered his head and burst out laughing, shaking it.
“Well, at least he wants me to get some action, even if it’s from my own hand…” They both had a good laugh at that. Cain scratched the side of his nose. “Thanks for comin’. I needed to see ya. To look into my brother’s eyes. Grandma, before she passed away, I told her that she was too old to keep coming, and besides, I didn’t want her to. It broke her heart to see me like this; that’s what she was always saying. Then she went on to read Bible verses to me. Bible verses ain’t gonna save me.” He laughed mirthlessly. “I bet if Mama and Daddy were still alive though, they’d—”
