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“I know, and I appreciate your position on it. To be honest with you, my profession, if you will, has rarely been an issue for anyone I dated, but there were a few exceptions. You were one of them. I’m not about to lose you over this… over something I’m getting fed up with anyway. I’ve made a hell of a lot of money. I can flip this, find some way to keep it, and make more. I’m brainstorming now… but uh, I just wanted you to know that I’m serious about this, and I’m serious about you.”
“Is your heart in stopping though, Jude? If you’re stopping for me, you’ll always resent me for it.”
“I answered this, and I told you the truth.” He gave her a fleeting look, sincerity in his eyes. “Drug dealers who graduate to become drug lords, on my level, end up either in prison or dead if they keep pushin’ their luck. Not because of the police houndin’ us, but because of snitches, jealousy, adversaries, and sloppy mistakes. We can have long runs—many of us do now that we’re in a digital age and not hangin’ on street corners, but there comes a time when you have to get out while you’re still ahead. I used to enjoy the excitement, the rush, the hustling, sometimes even the skirmishes, and truthfully, I still love receiving the money and have no regrets, baby, but I know I’m here on this planet for more than this.” He shook his head. “I’ve learned a lot about myself, about the world, but it’s time to move on.”
“Jude, I did understand your perspective better over time. You helped me with that, but regardless of you being right, you know, about how many of us do certain jobs not realizing that we may be inadvertently hurting people for a paycheck too, what you’re runnin’ around here doing still puts you in harm’s way.”
“I know… all of that is true. I wanted to make sure that my nephew had enough money to carry him into adulthood. He can go to college, go into the military or trade school. The money is there for him to do what he needs to do. I also needed to make sure that Eli had someone to take care of him in case something happened to me. That’s the reality of this situation.” He released her fingers, then threw his hand up in resignation. “I needed to know that no matter what, he’d have what he needs, so I kept tryna find someone good for him. And then, I hired you. It’s funny because the other day, I told him somethin’ similar, you know, about him havin’ someone in case I got killed or was sent away, and he said,‘Jude, what would make me feel safe and happy is knowing you’re safe and happy.’Eli and Cain are the only people who have always accepted me for who I am, Iris, down to my bones. Eli, though, is honest—he tells the good and the bad. He doesn’t know any other way, and that’s good. To him, it’s simple. Telling the truth is just what it is.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, does he know what you do?”
“Yeah, of course. Eli is protective of me, so he’s been concerned, too. All of that aside, I’m not enjoying this anymore though, baby. I don’t feel the same way about it. I’d rather be with you, building something, helping you with your business soon, the boutique, and doing my own thing, but not this. I need something else.” She nodded in understanding. “Something that gives me the same excitement this used to give me, only above the table and on the up and up. Not going to deny it, though. It’s tough. It’s all I’ve known. Breaking free from it is going to be hard for me.”
“I know it is, baby.” She began to stroke his arm.
“It’s hard for me because when I’m Judge, people respect me, Iris. I earned my reputation from action, not just words. When you grow up poor with a scarlet letter over your head because of the folklore about your parents, life becomes a daily struggle. I do what the hell I say I’m going to do, and I take pride in that. I protect my team, and I make tough decisions. I’m king of the castle, and that power can go to most men’s heads. All of this money, this authority is not easy to manage. Fact is, it’s hard to get respect round these parts. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.”
“Baby, you want to know the truth? It’s not respect you’re always getting. Sometimes, it’s fear. Being able to garner fear isn’t admirable. Fear is what people cause when they’re too scared themselves to be who they really are, so they play a role. Become a character. People are afraid of you, Jude, because they know you hold their pain or pleasure in your hands.”
“Nah, that’s not it. You don’t understand the game.”
“Baby, itisit! Because I’m not in the game, as you say, that makes it even easier for me to point out the obvious. You’re too close to the situation to see it for what it really is! You think I just woke up yesterday? You think I was judging you because I felt I was better than you? No! I have dated men who do what you do, and I know what it entails, and I know how it ends up!”
She flopped back in her seat and shook her head.
“Jude… all I am trying to say is that you intimidate people not just because of your height and build, but mainly because of the power you have. With that drug, you hold the keys to their fate. If you don’t give them what they need, they could get dope sick. Yeah, I imagine it’s like bein’ a street superstar. The addicts love to see you around, but if you were broke, and didn’t have any drugs, do you think they’d still respect you?” His jaw tightened. “Exactly. No, they wouldn’t. The fear comes because you know how to handle yourself out here, and you’ll remove any obstacle in your way and if that includes violence, so be it. The respect comes only from those whom you’ve earned it from.”
He squeezed her hand and mulled her words, then turned the music back on. After a short while, she noticed they were no longer going toward her apartment.
“Jude, where are you going? This is the wrong way.”
He kept quiet, his expression stern, and moments later, he pulled into a clearing with lots of trees bathed in streams of white moonlight filtering through the foliage. Turning the engine off, he let the music continue to play.
“I know I can’t come in because your niece is home asleep, but I need you right now, baby…”
He ran his hand along her cheek, then leaned in and took her lips in a searing kiss. Heavy breathing and moans ensued as they teared at each other’s clothing. He pushed her seat back, and she took a good look at him—the intensity in his eyes, the black, rich tapestry of art all over his hard chest and strong arms…
An eagle with spread wings and a menacing expression adorned his torso, along with glistening swords. Tribal symbols decorated his muscular arms, along with feathers, and storm clouds, the names ‘Angel and Johnny,’ the gorgeous profile of a woman with wings, a crucifix with Jesus on it, the words,‘Only God Can Judge Me,’and so much more.
John Mayer’s, ‘New Light,’ played on the radio as he blanketed her with bearings of darkness along with the warmth of his mouth all over her body. She felt like crashing waves beneath his wind. Like the ocean waking up from the kiss of dawn…
“I gotta taste you, baby…”
Getting on his knees, he lifted her legs up in the air and far apart. Resting his palms on the back of her thighs, he held her legs open while he slowly glided his long, wet, hot tongue along the length of her pussy, over and over again.
“Ahh…ahhhh…”
She gripped the edge of the armrest as he sped up, then slowed to a soft caress against her clit. Running her hand over his head, she felt the silky strands of his black hair and gently pulled as she gyrated her hips, pushing her pussy into his face. She could feel her dam exploding, drops of her juices flowing out of her, only to have him lick them up with vigor. She bit into her lip as her orgasm built and burst.
“Jude! Jude! Shit!”
She came hard into his mouth, and he groaned against her core, lavishing her with each pelvic pull of ecstasy. He rose, climbing up her, fire in his eyes… Cupping her exposed breasts, he kissed her neck, his harsh breathing like a lust-filled symphony. His enormous, hard dick pressed against her zone. And then he looked into her eyes…
“Ohhh!” Her back arched when he entered her with one slow, deep thrust. The first one always took her breath away. They’d made love dozens of times, and she still was adjusting to her man. She couldn’t help scratching his back as he drove himself deep inside her. She sighed and writhed as he kissed all over her face and neck, making love to her like a mountain falling to pieces against a valley.
“I love you so much, baby!” He intertwined their fingers, raising her arm in the air as he had his way with her. She trembled when he released her fingers, slipped his hands around her ass and pulled her into his hungry plunges. Tracy Chapman’s, ‘Fast Car’ sent them both into overdrive. He groaned against her lips and kissed her as if his life depended upon it. She tasted her salty sweetness on his tongue.
“Iris… You feel like that first draft that comes when you think you’re about to pass out from heat exhaustion under the sun… You’re that cool breeze, the one that saves you from your own hell…” He kissed the tip of her nose, then plunged into her over and over at rapid speed, sweat pouring down his face. And at last, a mighty roar emitted from his core. She held him tight while a rush of warmth flooded her walls, his hips lurching violently against her until his last drop was spent.
