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“I mean what the fuck I said. You gotta go, Iris. I got shit to do. Don’t worry, I’ll give you some money for a bus. You’ll probably have to take a couple of them though.”
“What?! Mothafucka, who you thank you talkin’ to? I don’t know what type of women you’re used to, but you can’t treat me like this, and you damn sure can’t talk to me like that, Jude! You done lost yo’ damn mind! I don’t give a flyin’ squirrel piece of nutty shit how important you think you are in them damn streets and sheets. You just a White boy with a big mouth, big ego, and big dick right about now. You uh dime a dozen!”
“You weren’t sayin’ that a little while ago when you were screamin’ my name, leavin’ scratches all over my body, and practically convulsing as I blew your damn back out in this bed…” He casually lit a cigarette and took a drag.
“I can love somebody and never call they ass again! I ain’t beggin’ no man for shit. You betta ask somebody!”
“…And just who should I ask? Do you have some references?”
“Jude…” She shook her head and waved her finger about. “You’re takin’ me out of character. You must not know about me, you raggedy son of a bitch.” She pointed to her chest, going the hell off, and it took everything within him to not burst out laughing. He had no idea she had this in her, though it didn’t completely surprise him. Passionate women could be hotheads. It just came with the territory. Iris was a fireball. Explosive like a motherfucker.
“You know you wanted it, baby.” He winked at her, and smiled.
“Let me jog yo’ memory in that little ass brain of yours. You calledmeover here in the middle of the night! Not the other way around. I was just fine at home, mindin’ the business that pays me, child-free for the night, and then because you want to shoot one off, you send for me like some chick whose number is written on a bathroom wall.”
“Did you come? And cum?” She picked up a pillow and tossed it with all of her might at him. He ducked. Now, he was laughing. He couldn’t control himself.
“This was all your idea, and this is how you do me?! I come on over, trying to help my man out wit’ yo’ horny, freaky ass! Since the moment we made this thang official, you’ve been treatin’ my body like some amusement park. I can’t even walk past you without you jumpin’ on top of me. I sucked yo’ damn dick tonight, and I told you I don’t get down like that unless I love the man. I let you fuck me all kinds of ways all damn evening, pussy sore as fuck, and you can’t even offer me coffee, breakfast and a ride home. Now you wanna tell me to get outta your house, and toss me some coins for public transportation?! You know damn well don’t know bus run out this way no how! I’d have to walk at least three blocks.”
“I can call you an Uber, but a bus would’ve been more of a scenic route.” His stomach bubbled as he tried to compose himself and keep a straight face.
“This gotta be some kinda joke!” She put her hand on her hip. “You told me you loved me, wanted me to stay the night, kissin’ all over me, talkin’ all that slick, gangsta shit, hugging and spoonin’ me, talkin’ about the future we gonna have, and then, because you probably got some sort of illicit activity going on, you just gonna get rid of me like some trash? For real?”
“Looks that way. You want a bottle of water on your way out?” he said with a shrug.
“You sorry ass bastard! Yo daddy shoulda shot you out in a tissue.” She grabbed her clothes and started putting them on, barely able to contain herself as she tried to get the garments on properly, her anger filling the room like sludge. “Put that cigarette you’re over there smokin’ on out on yo’ own damn tongue. Better yet, shove it up yo’ ass! Jude, don’t you call me again, ya hear?! I’m going to still see Eli, ’cause that was the agreement, and I happen to enjoy my time with him. Besides, there’s no need for him to suffer just because you and I are through, but let me tell ya baby, you bet not say shit else to me. Don’t you dare dial the number to my phone another day in your life, and let’s be clear: you ain’t gonna never put yo’ paws on me again! I know my sex is bomb.” She looked him up and down and huffed. “Wave goodbye to it, sir, ’cause the kitty is leavin’ with me. FOR GOOD.”
She put her shirt on inside out, so he stood there, fighting laughter as she turned it the right way, her movements dripping with frustration. She hightailed it out of his bedroom, down the steps and hall. He was hot on her heels, barely able to keep up. “You ain’t got to follow me, mothafucka. I can see my way out.”
“I need you to go out the back door.”
Iris’ complexion deepened, and he could have sworn smoke was now coming out of her ears.
“The back door? Like I’m the Negro maid in some old racist ass black and white movie?! You reallyhavelost your mind! Oh… I know what’s going on here!” She looked around, her eyes wild. “You got some bitch gettin’ ready to come over here! Jude, you ain’t shit!” Her voice trembled as she reached out to strike him. He yanked her arm and pulled her towards the back of the house.
“Come on! There’s no other woman, but I need you to go!”
She tugged and pulled, then finally relented.
“Lies. I should’ve trusted my better judgment and never gave you the time of day!” He felt rather badly once he saw that through all that anger, she was genuinely hurt. She meant what she said, too, for she demanded respect, despite being in love with him. That was one of the many reasons why he’d fallen for her. Iris had high self-esteem, paired with that kind heart of hers. She wouldn’t accept or agree to just any ol’ thing. He punched in his security code, unlocked the back door, and opened it. A cool gust of wind greeted them. It was also quite foggy outside, so it was difficult to see.
“The Uber will drive around the back here and get you.”
“I forgot my jacket and overnight bag,” she said coolly. “Go get it.”
She didn’t even look him in the eye, her disappointment and heartbreak palpable.
“You don’t need your jacket or bag. Look straight ahead, baby.” He took a drag of his cigarette as the air hit his bare chest, giving him a chill. He watched as she peered beyond his mature backyard trees, the gazebo, grill, and covered sauna and pool.
“What am I supposed to be seeing?”
He took another smoke and leaned against the door frame. Tossing out his cigarette, he cleared his throat.
“Walk down the cobblestone trail. When you get down there, tell me what you see.” She looked over her shoulder at him, pain in her expression, then began to walk down the pathway. She disappeared into the fog, and he followed a couple of feet behind her, his bare feet on the cold, uneven stones. When she reached the end of the route, she spun around. Their noses almost touched as a tear streaked her cheek.
“You… you didn’t, Jude!” she cried.
“I did.” He said with a smile, then leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. There, in front of her, was a brand-new black Rolls Royce with a big purple bow on top of it. Her name was written in gold on a white sash that covered the width of the luxury vehicle. “Here,” he slipped his hand in his jogging pants pocket and pulled out the fob, “take this.”
