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“Girl, Jude gave it to me. I told him what was going on, and I ain’t even ask for nothin’, and before I knew it, he said, ‘Give this to your friend so she can leave that man, and not look back.’ Now I mean it—take it. He insisted.”
Lark sniffed, then nodded as she shoved the cash in her jeans pocket.
“You got you a real good man, Iris. I’m glad y’all together.” She hung her head.
“Heisa good man, Lark. He ain’t perfect. Nobody is, but he’s perfect for me. One day, when the time is right, you’re going to meet a good man, too. But first, you have to get you and your children settled, and be okay being by yourself.”
Lark nodded in understanding. “I was a little jealous that he wanted you and not me. It wasn’t nothin’ racist, or anythin’ like that.”
“Don’t even bring that up, Lark. Jaquanda was just trying to start some mess.”
“I know, but I felt mighty bad about it. Word spread fast at work that you and Jude were an item, and Jaquanda tried to say I was just mad ’cause I felt like since Jude is White, he should’ve wanted me more than you, because I’m the preference, whatever that means, and I feel like deep down I’m superior to you.” Lark started crying again, harder now. “That wasn’t it at all! I hated that she told you that!”
“Lark, you are giving this more time and attention than it deserves. You have bigger fish to fry. She always got something negative to say with no facts behind it, so I always take what she says with a grain of salt. For someone who barely comes into work, she sho’ gotta lot to say about what’s goin’ on around there.” They both had a chuckle at that. “I know it wasn’t no race mess, Lark. This was strictly about two women who are friends, havin’ a crush on the same man. Race ain’t have nothing to do with it.”
“Right, and I’m tellin’ you the truth when I say I am so doggone happy for you two, Iris. I can tell y’all really in love. He’s got it all… looks, money, and he’s real good to ya. You deserve it, I mean, you deservehim, but you bet not leave me all alone just yet. Besides, you need me to throw you an amazing bachelorette party!”
They both burst out laughing.
“I know that’s right. No matter where I go in this world, you and I will always be friends. You can throw a shindig like no other. I gotta go, but before I do, show me some love. Give me a big ol’ hug, girl.” The two embraced, squeezing each other hard. “Now, remember what I said. Stay here in this motel with the kids for a few days to collect your thoughts. Don’t take his calls. Go see that apartment I told you about, and let the landlord know you got the deposit, in cash. That way, they won’t have to fool with your credit. I’m getting my credit together right now, and it’s looking good. Jude got the car in my name now, so that helps, and I’m working with an agency to finish repairing my credit so I can get my shop up and running with no problems.”
“You are amazing, Iris. Yeah, I want to call that credit agency, too, once I get into my new place.”
“You do that. Text me when you’re ready.” Iris turned to leave. “Call me tonight so I can double check that you’re okay.”
“Iris?”
“Yes, honey?”
“I just want to let you know… that uh… you’re the only real friend I’ve ever had.” The woman’s lower lip trembled as she clutched her pocket filled with the wad of cash and fell apart, sobbing. “Right now, I feel so scared, but… because of you, I feel free and like a big weight is off my shoulders. You told me that when you left your ex-husband, you didn’t have any money, either. You said you had no idea if you were coming or going, and then, your sister moved here for a job, and you felt even more alone. Then, down the line, you discovered that Lily was havin’ troubles, and you had to go through all that mess to try and get Ayanna. You left your nice apartment, just as you were starting over in the single life, and you came here, sacrificing it all to take care of her.
“You had to move to a town you ain’t want to come to, work at a job that really is beneath your skillset if you ask me, and yet, you did it all, with no complaints. You’re a role model to me. I know we’re only two years apart in age, but you’re more than a friend. You’re like a big sister, too.”
“Lark, don’t you stand there and make me cry.” Iris dabbed at her eyes.
“I’ve been through a lot. Some of it I brought on myself. I look for love in all the wrong places,” she laughed mirthlessly, “but I thank God for bringing you into my life, and I hope one day, I can help you as much as you’ve helped me, Iris.”
“You’re helpin’ me right now…”
“How am I helping you?”
“You’re helpin’ me by being a friend who has the heart to tell me that something I said or did made a difference. That requires placing pride aside. That’s what life’s about, baby. It ain’t about passing judgment on folks to make ourselves feel better, or just wanting to be right all the time. I had to learn that the hard way, ’cause the same things I thought about other people, someone out there could’ve been thinking about me, too. We’re all flawed perfection.”
“I like that,” Lark smiled sadly. “Flawed perfection.”
“Life ain’t always fun, so we got to help each other out from time to time. It’s about being an ear, offering time, sometimes resources. Lark, some days you’ve made me laugh when I was having a horrible time of it. You have no idea. I needed that. Somehow, you’d say just the right thing, at just the right time, and I was able to put things back into perspective. Don’t ever think you ain’t helped me because you have. You have a light about you, a way of making people feel better, and it comes to you naturally.” The woman’s cheeks plumped with a smile. “It’s about being positive and uplifting ’cause Lord knows I’ve needed an ear and upliftment, too. I need it right now… a good prayer.” Iris blinked back tears as she thought about Lily, and some other troubles, too.
“Well, we’ll just have to pray for each other, now don’t we?”
“Yes, indeed. My daddy was right, Lark. He sometimes quoted the Bible when I would be down in the dumps. He’d look at me and say, ‘Raise your chin, girl. Stand straight.’ She tilted Lark’s chin upward, and shook her elbows to force her to stand erect. I’d look up at him, this tall man that he was, and I’d lift my chin, and put my shoulders back. Then, my daddy would say, ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning…’ I repeated that in my head when I left my husband—the man who told me I ain’t have nowhere to go, that nobody would want me, and all sorts of stuff to keep me afraid to walk out that door. It worked for a little bit, but not long. He was holding me back. I had to go, fear be damned.
“I repeated those words in my head, Lark, when my sister, my most favorite person in the whole wide world for most of my life, was fallin’ apart right in front of me. I repeated that in my head when my Mama shut down, and refused to look me in the eye, and tell her story, year after year. She suffered in silence. Mama was going crazy on the inside. Lily was going crazy on the outside. I was going crazy, too, but focusing on other people, so I wouldn’t have to focus on my own pain. I was going crazy, above and below. It’s easier to look at the raindrops falling on other folks’ heads, point and laugh, put them down, rather than focus on the torrential flood inside of ourselves. That was me… hurtin’ deep, thinking deep down maybe I wasn’t smart enough, or pretty enough, to obtain my dreams. My self-esteem was in the trash after my divorce, sinking me to an all-time low. I didn’t trust men as far as I could throw them. I was completely turned off. I ain’t have no money, couldn’t start my boutique because the man I trusted had spent all of my savings, didn’t want to use my cosmetology degree and open a hair salon either, so that was a waste. I also didn’t have no other formal schoolin’. I felt like a failure. But then, I repeated Daddy’s words, honey…”
“That joy was coming!”
“That’s right! I repeated the words in my head when Ayanna came home with me, and the first night with me, she tore her room up that I had painted and decorated for her, and cussed me out to boot. I knew that situation would change, and it did. Ayanna was just an itty bitty girl then. She was afraid! She needed stability and reassurance, proof that she was loved and cared for. It wasn’t easy, but me and that child have made it through. That’s what you need, too, and God, your children and me, honey, are that proof that you are loved beyond measure, Lark. You are a recovering addict who hasn’t had a relapse in years. That shows you were built for this. That ain’t easy.”
Lark nodded as she cried silently, holding herself.
