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“All right.” Cain cocked his head to the side and leaned slightly forward.
“Hickory, dickory, dock… Once upon a time, there was an old grandfather clock… A green mouse, with green cheese, was inside of it…”
Cain clasped his hands.
“Rewind.” He frowned, mulling over the words.
A bit frustrated, Jude began again. “Hickory, dickory, motherfuckin’ dock… A green mouse, with green fuckin’ cheese…Cheeeese… was runnin’ around in the clock. It was more than one mouse. It had its entire family in there. There was a mother named Angel, a Daddy named Johnny, and their three mice sons, and they were allgreen… all of ’em…every… single… one.”
After a few seconds, Cain’s eyes grew large.
“You got to be fuckin’ shittin’ me.” His nostrils flared and he began to tap his foot fast, as if trying to drill the floor for oil. Swiping a shaking hand across his mouth, he whispered, “How much we talkin’?”
“Enough to hire you a star-studded lawyer out of fuckin’ New York City, who has taken cases like yours a million times over and won them time and time again. Enough to make sure my wife and family will always be okay, no matter what the hell happens to me so she doesn’t have the same fate as her mother, who had to return to work after dealin’ with the death of their father. Enough to ensure that Pete can go to a good school and make somethin’ of himself so he doesn’t end up like Daddy. Daddy had wanted to go to college, too, but had to give all of that up. Enough to donate a big ol’ chunk to research for people sufferin’ with mental illnesses, like my sister-in-law, and programs that help kids comin’ out the foster-care system receive vocational, educational, and healthcare amenities, and folks with disabilities, like our brother Eli, so they can get jobs, take classes to learn independent livin’, and get important medical services.” Cain hung his head. “Come on, now…”
“I saw him in the wedding video last year!” he wailed, crying, then turned away, shaking his head. “Eli looks just like us! He got Cooper written all over him, just like Pete, just like your son now, too. We all favor… we all look alike in some way. It haunts me. I ain’t been able to look at Eli in years! Since he was a teenager. I had refused to visit him. I just couldn’t stomach it. You know that. You got on me about it, but I told you to leave me be. I watched him over and over in that weddin’ video. I laughed at what he said, and I cried, too. He looks… normal.”
“Well, how the hell did you expect him to look, Cain? That was a long time ago.”
“That’s my baby brother! God forgive me!” Cain rested his head on the table, crying.
Jude exhaled, leaned forward, and patted his brother’s hand.
“Cain, we can’t keep going through this. You were a kid yourself. It wasn’t your fault. The only one to blame is the guy speedin’ down the street. Now listen. Sit up and listen to me.” After a few moments, he gathered himself and sat up. “You have to make me a promise. Right here. Right now.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t get up from this damn chair.”
“Huh?”
“Guard…” Jude motioned towards the guard standing at the entrance. The door slowly opened, and in walked Eli.
Cain squinted, then leaned forward. He stood, his eyes practically bulging out of his head.
“Oh no… It’s him… no… NO!”
“Sit down in that chair, Cain!”
Cain stood silently crying, falling apart, as Eli drew closer and closer, his iPad in hand. Jude helped Eli sit down at the table. Their baby brother placed his iPad down and folded his hands on his lap. Cain lowered himself slowly to his seat again and leaned back, a look of wonder on his face. Tears stained his cheeks, reminding Jude of how he’d looked as a boy, when he’d seen Eli lying on the ground, covered in blood.
“Eli…” Cain’s voice quaked.
“Caaain.” Eli smiled at him.
“Eli, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you when I could. You were in that adult livin’ place, and I refused to come see you, no matter how much you begged. I made Jude stop talking about you to me. I just couldn’t handle it, Eli. Every time I looked at you, I saw my mistake! I should’ve been watching you! I should’ve been payin’ attention. I’m sorry about the accident… everything! I wish it had been me and not you!”
“I… don’t… blame you… Caaain. It… wasn’t… your… fault. I’m… hap…py.”
“Are you?” Cain smiled sadly. “I sure hope so, baby bro.”
“Yeeesss. I… have… a gooood… life. I… have… a girl…friend.”
“Do you? What’s her name?”
“Her… name… is Candi.” Eli sported a proud look. “She loooves… me. I looove… her… too.” Cain blinked back emotion. “I re…mem…ber… yooou… push…shing… me on… a… swing… Caaaain. I went… high… in the air… Hap…py. I re…mem…ber… you… teeech…ching…me… how… to… ride… the big… wheel… Yooou… shared… your…. candy…bar…with… me. You…were… a good… bro…ther… to… me. I… loooove… you.”
“Jesus…” Cain’s tears finally got under Jude’s skin for he now also grappled with the moisture stinging his eyes, the overwhelming feeling squeezing his chest. “I had forgotten all about that stuff, Eli…”
