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I stood up and hunched my shoulders against the wind. If I took the M4 to the Q32, I’d be back in my room in a couple of hours. Amy would congratulate me for going outside, for traveling on my own, for keeping myself together.
I went back out through the gate, passed a hot dog stand that made my mouth water, and missed the bus by a second. And that’s when I saw him.
Sawthem.
Jordan Hassan was crossing Broadway. Beside him was a girl with long, dark hair twisted up into a bun. She was short and conspicuously pretty, with blood-red lipstick and a wide, bright smile.
I froze in horror.
They were coming right at me. There was nowhere to hide.
But they were looking only at each other, and as I watched, this girl tucked her arm into the crook of Jordan’s elbow. Then her hand burrowed into the pocket of his jacket. He leaned over and whispered something into her ear. She threw her head back and laughed.
I felt like someone had punched me in the chest. I turned so my back was to them. I couldn’t let them see me.
But it started getting hard for me to breathe. The sidewalk had become quicksand, and I was sinking into it. I stumbled backward.
“Are you okay?” someone asked.
I nodded, pushing away their offered hand. I just needed to get on the bus. It’d be here in another few minutes. My fingers twisted themselves into knots. My vision had narrowed to a skinny, darkening tunnel.
Just stayhere,Hannah, I told myself.Please, oh please, just stay in the right now.
METROPOLITAN TRANSIT AUTHORITY INCIDENT REPORT
FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY
INTERVIEW WITH EDWARD JOHNSON, MTA BUS OPERATOR, JOB ID 101161,
CONCERNING CUSTOMER INCIDENT ON THE M4 LINE AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT REC’D 2-25-23
Supervisor:Please describe the incident that occurred on the afternoon of February 25.
Johnson:Well, I was heading south on Fifth, and I was around 102nd Street maybe. The bus wasn’t too full yet and it was a good crew. You know, not too many nutjobs, not too many bums, not too many tourists. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t say that.
Supervisor:Probably not. How did the incident begin?
Johnson:I mean, it’s like I have a Spidey-sense, you know? From all the years of driving. I could tell something was going on in the back, even before I heard it.
Supervisor:What did you hear?
Johnson:I heard a girl screaming. Hollering and crying.
Supervisor:Had anyone hurt the passenger?
Johnson:No, sir. Everyone was just minding their own business. Like I said, it was a good crew. But then she just went fu—freaking crazy, man.
Supervisor:What did you do?
Johnson:Well, I wasdriving. But I looked in the mirror and I could see Henry—he’s one of my regulars—trying to calm her down. Wasn’t working, though. Some people were already calling 911. Soon as I could, I pulled over. I called dispatch and they called the police.
Supervisor:When the police came—
Johnson:Poor thing! She looked like she didn’t know who or where she was. But she had a set of lungs on her, I can tell you that.
Supervisor:Right. So when the police came—
Johnson:They just took her away. Man, you know what, sometimes it’s like I can still hear her screaming.
