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Nolan chuckled, but then he scratched at his chin. “Or maybe you should wait,” he suggested. “If someone really is after the two of you, then it might be safer that you stay hidden until you figure out who it is.”
I nodded. “You have a point.”
“I always do,” he answered.
“EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE?”
Lucian looked up at me from his desk, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes as he nodded. “I’m just going through my accounts.”
He’d been going through them since his return this afternoon, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it. This situation was stressing him out, and he wouldn’t stop until he figured out what was going on.
I leaned against the doorframe. “Any leads yet?”
His brows pinched together as he glanced at the screen, and even though he shook his head, I suspected he’d uncovered something.
“Not anything I can prove,” he said wearily.
“I’m worried.” My hands felt like iron as they wrapped around me. “I don’t know if I stirred something up by writing that book.”
Lucian blinked, shaking himself from his thoughts as he focused on me. “Come here.”
I walked around the desk, and he pulled me onto his lap, leaning me into his chest as he kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes, wishing for more. Since his return, he still hadn’t kissed me on the lips. He said he believed me, but tension lingered between us, and I knew he was still protecting himself in case his worst fears about me turned out to be true.
“I’m here, Gypsy,” he said. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you or my son.”
I laid my head against his shoulder and breathed in his scent. It hit me all over again how much I missed him, and when I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, I didn’t want to let him go.
“I’m not the person I was before,” I whispered. “I would never want to hurt you, Lucian. Never.”
He closed his eyes and leaned into me. “I know.”
“If you know, then you can’t hold back from me,” I argued. “I need you. All of you.”
His grip on me tightened as he dragged his nose through my hair and nuzzled against my neck. “I know, pet. I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole, and for the first time in my life, I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make things right.”
“Trust me,” I said. “Just trust me and be with me… the way things were before. That’s all I want.”
His fingers brushed over my face, and our eyes locked as he tilted my head up to meet his. “I’m trying, but I know I need to do better.”
The vulnerability in his voice gave me the encouragement I needed to press my lips against his. His fingers curled into my nightgown, and he didn’t fight me. He gave into me, and before I knew it, we were clawing at each other’s clothes, frantic with a need that manifested in him fucking me roughly over the desk until I came twice.
He buried himself inside me and emptied his cock, grunting out his release before he squeezed my ass in his hands.
“I missed this,” he murmured.
I laughed, turning over my shoulder to meet his eyes. “Me too.”
“We should enjoy it while it lasts,” he said somberly. “While I’m still feeling up to it.”
He pulled away and cleaned himself up, helping me right my clothes before I propped myself on the desk and observed him.
“What will the radiation be like?” I asked.
“The procedure itself isn’t bad,” he said. “It’s like an X-ray. It only takes a few minutes, but the setup to make sure they target the right areas is what takes the longest.”
“And how long will that last?”
“I’ll need to go five days a week for a few weeks most likely.”
He didn’t look like he wanted to think about it, but the guilt of knowing that I wasn’t there when he needed me the most consumed me. He felt like he’d missed everything with the pregnancy, but I’d missed one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.
I reached out and stroked his arm. “What was the chemo like?”
“It was about as pleasant as you’d probably imagine,” he answered dryly. “I felt like shit. I was tired and sore and a moody asshole for the duration of it. It’s probably best you missed it.”
I looked down at the floor. “I don’t feel that way. I feel like I should have been there, and I hate that I wasn’t.”
Lucian tipped my chin up, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “I’m glad that you weren’t. I wouldn’t have wanted you to see me like that.”
“But that’s my job,” I argued. “I’m your wife.”
His lip tilted at the corner. “Well, you’ll be here for the radiation. So don’t feel like you’ve missed out on everything.”
