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“Yes, but—”
“Butwhat,Mary? Butwhat?”
“But there are three boards left over.” She stood and pointed. “Where do they go?”
He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Must be surplus.”
“Surplus? What centuries-old bed comes with surplus pieces?”
“This one.”
She rubbed her temples.
“It doesn’t matter.” He took a pace backward. “It’s sturdy enough to hold an ox. Just watch.”
“Sebastian, wait.”
He took two running steps and launched himself at the bed, twisting in midair so that he landed on his back. All sixteen stone of him, squarely plunked in the center of the mattress.
“See?” He folded his hands under his head and gave her a smug look. “I told you it was st—”
Crash.
One side of the bed frame collapsed beneath his weight, tipping the mattress at an angle and shunting him to the floor.
Mary stood very quietly.
He stared blankly at the ceiling. “Go on. Say it.”
“Say what?”
“I know you’re thinking it. You may as well have out with it.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” she lied.
“Yes, you are.”
“Let’s go downstairs for some tea.”
“For the love of God, Mary. I know it’s coming. Just say it now.”
“I don’t—”
“Say it.”
“I told you so!” she shouted. “Is that what you want to hear? I told you this would happen. I told you you were doing it wrong. I. Told. You. So.”
He stared up at the ceiling, infuriatingly silent.
Mary, however, was only getting started. “I wanted to make a plan. But noooo. You don’t need a plan. You’ve assembled loads of beds. You know exactly which pieces fit where. Because you, like all men, have a magical nugget of furniture-assembly expertise dangling in your left bollock.” She flung a hand at the unused boards.“Surplus?You’re telling me sixteenth-century Swedish artisans madesurplus?”
He finally pulled himself off the floor. “I”—he jabbed a finger in his chest—“told you”—the finger turned on Mary—“that we should go to Ramsgate. Where theyhavebeds already. Assembled beds. Comfortable beds. Beds just sitting there in well-appointed rooms, waiting for someone to use them.”
“I don’t want to go to Ramsgate.”
“Yes, so you told me. You’re very keen to avoid the gossip. God forbid you be seen with me in public.”
Her chin jerked. “What?”
