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My phone rang and I jumped for it, praying to see his name on the screen but of course it wasn’t him. With every minute that passed, the reality sank in that Kane wasn’t coming back. “Jo,” I sobbed into the phone
“What’s wrong?” Her usual comedic tone was replaced with panic.
“I need you,” I begged.
“I’m on my way,” she said and hung up.
My best friend came barreling into my bedroom fifteen minutes later making me weep at the sight of her. “Kane left,” I choked out.
“Oh, honey,” she climbed into the bed with me and held me tight, letting me fall apart in her arms until my tears subsided. I felt so grateful for her, to have a best friend that would hold all my pieces together when I couldn’t.
“How about I order us a pizza and we can search how to put a hex on someone?” I nodded, my stomach grumbling and making us both laugh.
When she left the room, I dragged myself to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, deep circles had formed under them from my lack of rest. The tangled nest of hair on my head hadn’t been washed in days and I was still wearing Kane’s t-shirt he had left behind.
I tore the fabric from my body and buried it in the bottom of my hamper before I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. Feeling more human than I had in days, I pulled on my fuzzy robe and went in search of Jo.
“Perfect timing,” she placed the pizza on my counter and went to grab plates.
My stomach growled at the sight and I lifted the lid. The scent of pepperoni and sausage reached me and I clutched my hand to my mouth before running back to my bathroom. Jo held my hair back from my face as I dry-heaved.
When the nausea passed, I dropped to my backside and leaned against the tub. She silently handed me a wet washcloth and I thanked her before running the cool cloth over my face, wiping away the sweat.
“What’s going on, Winnie? I thought that was your favorite.”
“It is, I think I must have picked up a stomach bug. I haven’t been able to keep anything down but at the same time I’m starving.”
“Winnie,” Jo asked hesitantly, “when was your last period?”
I knew where she was going, the same thought had crossed my mind if I were honest with myself. “There is no way I am pregnant, Jo, I have been on the pill forever.”
“Shit happens, babe. Maybe you should take a test just to be sure.” I did the math in my head, my period should have happened by now. Shit. The horror I was feeling must have shown on my face. “I’ll go,” she said before running out.
What felt like hours but I am sure was only minutes later, she came back and dumped five different boxes on the counter. “Okay, I got one of every kind they had.”
We decided the best course of action was for me to pee into a cup so that we could test each of the sticks to be certain. We lined up the tests and Jo set a timer on her phone. She placed another bag next to them and pulled out a bottle of wine, making me raise an eyebrow at her. “That’s for me, and maybe you, as long as there isn’t a little Winnie in there.”
I faced away from the sink, I wasn’t sure I was prepared to find out the truth. Jo’s phone beeped and we approached the tests slowly, like they were going to attack at any moment. Two pink lines, three plus signs and a bold ‘PREGNANT’ stared back at me.
“Oh my god,” I sank to the floor in shock.
“Okay, okay, I’m here for you, Winnie,” Jo sat heavily next to me. “Do you want to call Kane?”
I huffed a laugh, “He hasn’t answered me the five hundred times I’ve tried, what makes you think he’ll pick up now?”
Anger rose in me swift and fierce, he should be here. This wasn’t something I should be finding out on my own. We should be together, happily making plans. But the father of my baby was off God knows where, ignoring me.
My hand drifted to my stomach, a baby, I was carrying the baby of the only man I had ever loved. A man who clearly didn’t love me back if his absence was anything to go by. Swallowing the tears that thought caused, I took a deep breath and turned to my friend. “No Kane. I’ll…we’llbe fine without him.”
Jo smiled at me sadly, not believing my bullshit any more than I did. She laced her fingers with mine and I leaned my head against hers, trying to be stronger than I felt.
* * *
I returnedto the diner Monday morning desperate to feel some kind of normality. Mom was at the register behind the counter when I walked in.
“Winnie, what are you doing here? I thought you were still feeling sick,” she held the back of her hand to my forehead like she did when I was a child, the look of concern on her face making me want to cry. How was I going to tell my parents I was pregnant?
They had joked about wanting more grandchildren but they already helped out with Daisy so much. I knew being a single parent was hard, it was one of the biggest lessons I learned from watching Gray. There were no days off, no one to help carry the burden unless you had a supportive family and even then, it could be incredibly challenging.
