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I opened my mouth to reply, steeling myself to keep it together so I could answer his question and go home.
Instead, what happened was I burst into tears, huge raking sobs tore through my body and left me a quivering mess when he drew me against his chest with large arms, shushing me as though I were a child.
“I never used to care, you know?” I hiccupped.
“What do you mean, baby girl?”
“About me, about any of this. I didn’t like it, but I just accepted this was my life, and things would never change.” He relinquished his hold on me as I pulled away and wiped at the tears on my face, no longer caring about the makeup—it was ruined anyway. I raised my eyes to his, and the genuine sorrow in his face almost made me crumble again. I bit my lip against another sob that threatened to rise in my chest. “But then I saw a glimpse of the other side, you know? At least, I thought I did. What it was like to have someone look after me, someone who cared and not have to worry about the world outside. And now…” I waved my arm pathetically at the club, “… I can’t go back to hooking, I just can’t. But I have nowhere else to turn.”
He simply watched me as all the words came tumbling out. All the thoughts I had no one else to express to and the mixed-up emotions that had been eating away at me in what was a devastating climax over the past twenty-four hours. It all came together with Zaqiel, only to be torn apart again, before crashing back to reality in the worst way.
“I need out, and I don’t know what else to do. I have no skills, no work experience, no references, and absolutely no savings. Not to mention nowhere to live or go. If I can’t be a dancer, then I have to continue hooking, and I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I feel like I’m dying inside, and I think I’ll have to let it happen, let myself die inside because I need that darkness back so I can continue with my life how it was before, and I can pretend I hadn’t seen something better.”
I finished with a deep, shuddering breath and stood with increasing awkwardness as Carl continued to watch me.
“Evie, right?” he said finally.
I nodded, touched he even remembered but too exhausted to say anything.
“Look…” He glanced over his shoulder as if checking to see if anyone was listening. He slid a card from his pocket and pressed it into my palm, closing my fingers over it before I could look. “Call Leo and tell him I sent you.”
“What’s this?”
“It’s an escort service.” When he saw the hope drop from my face, he squeezed my shoulder. “Not like that, high-end, and you rarely have to sleep with the customers. It’s more about… company. Sometimes they want dates to events to impress others or just want company for the night… maybe a blow job.”
He pressed his lips together at the look on my face, and I dropped my eyes to the ground. It’s not like I was a prude, obviously, but hearing him explain it like it was a real job, a legitimate position that involved the occasional blow job, somehow seemed cheap.
He waited until I looked at him before Carl squeezed my arm again. “I know it’s not what you wanted, baby girl, but it’s better than what you do now, and it’s the best I can do for you.” He glanced over my shoulder. “You best get out of here now. I can’t see what sort of car that’s coming, but just in case it’s someone looking for you, you better go.”
“Thank you, Carl,” I whispered, before turning and running, taking the first two corners at a fast speed and hiding out the back of the building until I heard the car pass. Carl was right—the car could’ve been anyone. But I couldn’t risk being found talking to him or anywhere near the club, not until I had some new protection anyway.
I pushed myself off the wall I had been leaning on and moved down the street to get a new phone, thumbing through the handful of notes I had in my pocket. It would be a cheap one, but it would do, then I could make the phone call—after calling Heidi—that would hopefully be a step toward change.
ZAQIEL
She got a new job.
It wasn’t a huge change, but it was a change, and Evie was away from Tyson and, therefore, hopefully, the man who had beaten her so thoroughly. She was still in the same apartment, though, and I was concerned Tyson would eventually figure out what she was doing. He’d only put up with her turning down customers for so long, and while she wasn’t his only concern, she seemed to be on his shit-list because of her disappearance. But these last two days, she had been packing up her clothes and few belongings, so hopefully, that meant she was moving, and Tyson wouldn’t find her wherever she ended up.
I would, though.
I wouldn’t want to take back what I did by taking her from the street, even though she was now in trouble with Tyson because of me. I may not be proud of how I handled myself the entire time, but I was glad I had saved her life. She deserved better, especially from this city and these grimy streets.
Evie deserved better than what I could offer her.
Evie hadn’t told them who I was or where I lived. Otherwise, they would’ve come after me. I appreciate that somewhere in her, there was enough of a break in her rage toward me not to give me up, but I almost wish she had. I wasn’t afraid of those men, and if I had to attack them—in self-defense, of course—then so be it.
I had been watching her since she walked out that morning, making sure she was okay.
Of course, I was still helping other people where I could, but I’d always come back to her.
When she cried on the shoulder of the bouncer at the club, I wished it were me, then cursed myself for desiring that intimacy again.What had she done to me?I was a Watcher, here to help people. I never should’ve seen her the way I did and given into the physical attraction that pulled us together.
Physical attraction, like that’s all it was, and she didn’t stir other things inside me.
Certainly, I never should’ve considered that the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I looked at her was anything other than a natural protective instinct.
It had only been a couple of days, and I couldn’t stay away from her.
