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Every time I thought of them, the hate pulsed through my veins thick and strong. The hatred is what kept me going for years. Hatred and anger covered the pain, and it was a perfect covering. But when someone starts to peel back those layers, the pain pushes its way through, reminding me I’m not as immune to it as I thought I was.
And reminding me if I were privy to the same rules as demons, I’d still be an angel.
Then the one person who sees something in my eyes past the black, who sees the pain, is just one more thing demons tainted and took from me. Ray flinched when my anger peaked. She could see it on my face with the way my jaw clenched and feel it in the air between us.
Good, I wanted her to be afraid of me. Fear was all I had now.
“So, let’s see if I have this straight,” Ray said, slapping her hands on her knees. “You want me to sniff your girlfriend’s pussy for traces of a demon she fucked years ago and then find and kill him, yes?”
When my hand found her throat, she flinched again but made no attempt to stop me. Her eyes flared yellow as I growled, “Do not talk about her like that.” I had barely finished my sentence before I felt the silver against my neck, turning slightly to see Ilsa holding a blade to my skin.
“I know this won’t kill you…” she said, her voice the even-controlled tone I remembered from when we first met, “… but it’ll still hurt like a bitch if I drive it through your neck.Let her go.”
Ray and I held each other’s gaze, she knew as well as I a blade through the neck—silver or not—would almost definitely kill me, but apparently Ilsa didn’t understand how being fallen changed me. Dropping my hand from Ray’s neck, Ilsa moved the blade from mine and took a step back.
“I can’t help you, Emrick.” Ray watched me. “But I think you knew that already.” After a pause, she asked, “Why do you hate demons so much?”
I threw a look at her with all the hate I could muster and stood, straightening my outer jacket before throwing the hood over my head and turning to leave. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned back. Ray was still sitting, staring at me, and waiting for an answer to her question.
“I know of demons who’ve killed humans and still live on Earth,” I muttered, letting my dark eyes fixate on Ray. She was one ofthem, and while she may not have killed, she was no better than the rest. I once thought I saw myself in her, watching her compassion and affection for this human, but a demon was a demon. “When I killed the men who killed the woman I loved, I lost my wings.” Ray’s face changed when she saw the tear that escaped before I could swipe it away. “You tell me how that’s justice.”
I left, slamming the door behind me.
When there was a knock on the door, and Sven pulled it open, Tate’s eyes shot to me immediately after taking in Cara standing in the doorway. She was carrying a tray with vodka and glasses, and I felt the frown deepen on my forehead. I hadn’t ordered anything. Steadfastly ignoring Tate’s gaze on me, I waved my hand at him, and after a beat, he and Sven stalked out the door, pulling it closed behind them.
“Cara.”
Her brows creased together. “Emrick,” she said, mimicking my deadpan tone. “Thought you might like a drink.”
“I didn’t order anything.”
“I know.” She poured a generous glass and handed it to me, her hand hovering between us as we both stared at the glass. Cara pouted, placing the glass I had refused to accept on the table before standing, awkwardness taking over her at my stare.
“Why are you here, Cara?”
Her frown deepened. “You know what? I don’t even know. Whatever I was thinking, I guess I was wrong.”
I was on my feet, grabbed her arm, and spun her to face me. Her hands came up between us, pressing against my chest. “Why are you here?” I growled.
“Nothing, never mind.”
“You have to stay away from me.”
“Youkissedme.”
Dropping my chin to my chest, I increased my grip on her arm when she went to pull away, wrapping my other arm around her and pulling her against me, loving the way her fingers gripped against my clothes. Her nails were digging into me, bringing me the sweet pain I craved. I could make her hurt, and I wanted the same from her.
But she had already seen too much of me.
“I’m bad for you… you need to stay away from me.”
“This is ridiculous,youcame on tome.”
“We fucked. That’s all there is to it.”
She looked as though I had slapped her, and she knew I was lying. There was more to this, but I couldn’t admit it to her, not now.
Not ever.
