AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Excuse me? I have no idea what you mean."
He struggled to find the right words. When he did, Emma's heart raced faster.
"How ironic. One of the things I adored about you is that none of this kind of shit was important to you. I loved the real you, not some fake painted version trying to hide yourself. And what's the first thing you do when you decide to come with us? Plan to turn yourself into a cookie cutter version of exactly what I'm trying to distance myself from. New hair... tan... clothes... nails..."
The venom in his voice stabbed deep, wounding her. She hadn't missed his use of past tense either.Adored.Loved. Like it was over.
The little voice she'd been shouting down for weeks was back. It had been whispering she wasn't worthy of the two extraordinary men but now it was shouting 'I told you so' in her ear as she fought to stay calm.
It was Emma's turn to struggle for the right words to answer his accusation. She felt his anger growing as she fumbled, frightened how things could blow up so spectacularly in the matter of minutes.
She had loved every single minute of her time with the men as they'd all played hide and seek with the rest of the world in her run-down attic. Safe from prying eyes and judgmental commentary that was sure to focus on how insane it was to try to go public with a ménage relationship with two famous sex-gods.
She had dreaded the day it would end. She'd hoped they could make it at least a few months. Even she thought they'd make it more than a few hours.
Righteous anger consumed her. She pushed to her feet, knocking the desk chair over to crash against the wood floor as she turned on her lover, ripping the list from his hand.
"You have some nerve, Jaxson. What is so objectionable about this list?" He started to interrupt her, but once she got started, she was on a roll.
She was vaguely aware of Chase moving into her peripheral view as she got up in Jaxson's face. "Do you have any idea how scared shitless I am to leave this house with you tomorrow? Do you have a fucking clue how much the media is going to crucify me when they get the first pictures of us together? I can see the headlines now. 'A-lister hunks go slumming and pick up chunky co-ed.'" Emma crumpled the list while waving it like a flag in his face, her voice shouting. "So, yeah. I want to get my hair done and maybe buy an outfit that isn't a college T-shirt and jeans. Forgive me if I want to try to look the best I can before the cameras start rolling. You may not care what the tabloids print about me, and while I will never be able to compete with the gorgeous models you're surrounded by every day, I'd like to at least try not to embarrass you or myself by looking like a frumpy BBW."
Emma could see the array of emotions flitting through Jaxson's eyes throughout her monologue. She'd never spoken to him in even close to that tone, but dammit he hurt her.
Chase had come behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, trying to pull her away from the steaming Jaxson, but Emma slapped him away. Jax was stunned into silence and she took the opportunity to pile on. "And for your information, that wasn't the first list I got up to make. I was lying in bed, unable to sleep because of all of the things I need to get done before I can leave here with you. You guys may be on vacation and having fun playing video games between sex marathons, but I'm still working, and teaching, and trying to wrap up my classes. Now I have to add moving to the mix. I'm a little stressed and quite honestly, I'd appreciate a little help." She reached to her left, grabbing the second sheet of paper and shoving it in Jaxson's face. When he wouldn't take it, she started reading it off to him.
To Do List:
Pack stuff up to take to Mom & Dad's for storage
Call Professor Kanowski to cancel last classes
Finish global economics paper
Pass off research notes to study group
Transfer money to pay rent
Turn in global monetary project
Tell housemates I'm leaving
Return library books
Pick-up birth control prescription at pharmacy
"Doesthat sound like the list of some maniac only interested in taking advantage of you and your fame?"
Chase reached out again, pulling her close, her back to his naked chest as he leaned in to coax her down from the ledge. "It's gonna be okay, honey. We'll help you with anything you need. I'm sure Jaxson just misunderstood."
Chase's soothing rocking had just started to help calm her when Jaxson finally found his voice.
"Emma, I owe you an apology about the lists. I was wrong to jump to conclusions and I'm sorry about that. I'm even sorry that I didn't pick up on how stressed you were getting, but..."
Sweet relief. He'd apologized. It meant so much to her that he'd admit when he was wrong. She had just started to catch her breath when the sharp edge to his voice returned, anger flaring hot in his eyes.
"But I'm pretty sure I've made it very clear that I will not allow you to put yourself down or call yourself names. If you have insecurities or concerns, you bring them to us and we'll talk through them. We don't hide them under the rug or worse yet, slap a layer of makeup and new wardrobe on and think it's gonna fix anything. Trust me on this. That's a slippery slope."
Her anger was ebbing, the adrenalin in her bloodstream diluting. In its wake was fear. Fear of being ridiculed. Worse yet, publicly judged. But she'd given it lots of thought and the only thing she could think of that was worse than being crucified by the media was being alone again after sampling how joyous life could be in the arms of not one, but two remarkable men. She knew with every fiber of her being that she'd regret it for the rest of her life if she let them leave Madison without her.
