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More like a bullseye. "Like I said, fuckoff."
"Does your mystery woman have aname?"
Ryder hesitated. Saying her name out loud would make it all seem more real. Finally, he surrendered, softly answering "KhloeMonroe."
Axe's whistle was louder this time. "Holy shit, you go big when you decide to jumpin."
"It was supposed to be one fun night. No strings. Nofuture."
"I've heard that before. Then I got the call in Afghanistan that Marielle was pregnant. Things got serious prettyquick."
Ryder had been with him the night he'd gotten that call. He'd seen the sheer terror on Axe's face at the thought of being responsible for a wife and child. Now, all these years later, look how fucked up that had turned out. He had no interest in following in Axe's footsteps. It was too hard, caring so much for someone that it hurt. It distracted him when he needed to focus. It fucking hurt just thinking of being without heragain.
I'm sofucked.
"Talk to me about thethreats."
He was almost relieved to have something to take his mind off hurting Khloe. Instead of talking, Ryder reached down for the duffel he'd thrown down next to his chair and pulled out his encrypted laptop. "You still have the sameemail?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'm sending all of the info I have to youraccount."
The men spent the next half-hour looking through the evidence, talking through the motives and suspects on Ryder's short-list of suspects. With each minute, Ryder grew more tense, the threats becoming more real. Ironically, Axe seemed to almost relax, relieved to have something to focus on other than his family'smisfortune.
"Okay, let me do my thing on the computer forensics. I have a new hacker program that's great at sniffing out electronic footprints. Make sure I have your number. I'll give you a call when I've gotsomething."
"Thanks, man. I owe you one. We're leaving for D.C. tomorrow sometime for some big red carpet event on Sunday afternoon. Obviously, I won't be attending, at least not on the carpet. I'll probably stay concealed, watching the crowd. The sooner we track down the asshole responsible, thesooner..."
He let the sentence die, unwilling to say it. He was already on the train. Like it or not, he was barreling down the track towards his exit. He couldn't stop it. All he could do was make sure he'd leave her safe and sound for when he wasgone.
Chapter 18
The hot shower felt spectacular.She'd been under the water so long, her fingers were starting to prune. Khloe tilted her head back, letting the spray wash out the deep conditioner. Once she'd rinsed thoroughly, she reluctantly turned off the water and grabbed the bathtowel.
She avoided her reflection in the mirror as she reached for her satin loungewear and robe, afraid to glimpse her own body. She burned with shame remembering being caught purging earlier that afternoon. She'd brushed her teeth three times since then, but she still feltdirty.
Khloe knew the cycle well. She was in her 'I'll never do that again' phase, swearing to herself after the shameful expel that she would control it the next time. By tomorrow, that promise will have faded as panic over her weight returned, overshadowing guilt with fear. She'd become so good at starving herself that she rarely had to push into where she'd gone today–euphoria while eating followed by uncontrollableregret.
Rinse andrepeat.
She took a seat on the stool near the counter, picking up one beauty cream after another until she'd lathered herself with the full array of expensive products she used to fend off wrinkles and age spots. Tempted to brush her teeth one more time, she realized she was stalling, hiding in the bathroom to avoid eating. To avoid Trevor's knowing glares as he made it very clear how he felt about Ryder calling all theshots.
But mostly to avoid Ryderhimself.
They'd only been together again for such a short time, yet in some ways, she couldn't remember what life was like without him there. That was how larger than life he was, sweeping her off her feet, not unlike back in February. She closed her eyes, remembering snippets of their time together, trying to understand the complexity that was RyderHelms.
The strict structure of the Valentine Roulette game had kept their BDSM activities at Black Light focused only on sex. It had given her a false sense of understanding of what made the sexy dominanttick.
But outside of Black Light, Ryder was much less predicable. Surprisingly warm and loving one minute, dominant predator the next. But it was the Ryder in between those extremes that confused her the most. His need to protect her, yet refusal to be seen with her. His early jealousy and suspicion of Trevor quickly turning into a blanket trust, almost as if he were forging a partnership with her long-timeguard.
Something fishy was going on, and Khloe was determined to figure out what itwas.
The smell of pasta greeted her as she arrived in the open great room of the cabin. Ryder was back from his errand, moving effortlessly through the kitchen as if he'd studied in culinary school. Trevor sat on a stool opposite the stovetop. The men were deep in conversation, talking too softly for her to hear what wassaid.
It was the ring of her cell phone in the pocket of her robe that drew the men's attention to her arrival. Two pairs of eyes glanced up, as she pulled her phone from her pocket, sending the call tovoicemail.
She didn't need to look at caller ID to know who was calling. She'd given her parents their own distinctive ring tone,Such a Disappointment, her theme song with them. She put the phone back into her pocket as she walked slowly to thekitchen.
