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Chapter One
Markus
The room was dark, illuminated by only a few dying votive candles about to be snuffed out like the dozen others had been before them. Markus contemplated getting up to blow the last candles out but didn’t want to disturb his sleeping wife tucked against his body.
Brianna was nearly sleeping on top of him, her right arm and leg thrown over his naked body, her head tucked under his arm as she snuggled close, using his chest as her pillow. He smiled down at his wife. Even in sleep, it seemed she wanted to stay as physically close to him as possible. He knew just how she felt.
Hell, I’d sleep buried inside of her if my dick would cooperate.
After their wild ride on the stage downstairs, and another quickie once upstairs, Brianna had somehow managed to fall into a deep sleep once they got to Lukus’s guest room. Considering she’d had little-to-no sleep the night before—coupled with the emotional and physical upheaval of her last twenty-four hours of punishment—her exhaustion made sense.
As drained as he was, Markus found himself staying awake just to listen to the comforting sounds of his wife’s slow and steady breathing. The mishmash of visions floating through his brain made sleep impossible for the recently revived Dom.
Damn, she was beautiful tonight on stage, the perfect vision of submission with her gorgeous body responding to the pain, allowing it to bring her pleasure. I was sure Lukus had been full of shit.
Feelings of sexual dominance he’d long ago learned to suppress were now coursing through his body. Markus was giving those feelings free rein after having kept them locked away from the mistaken fear of scaring Brianna. How wrong he’d been. If only he had known of his wife’s deep need to submit—a need that drove her to the arms of a former lover. Now, in the fallout of Brianna’s infidelity, the lockbox where he’d kept his feelings hidden away had sprung open. Memories and emotions he’d thought long gone had resurfaced with a vengeance.
If the reawakening of his dominant nature were the only thing weighing on the recycled-Dom, he might have been able to find some peace. Unfortunately, his dominant tendencies were not the only memories he’d locked away. Markus had also managed to stuff the regret over how he’d failed his ex-wife Georgie at the end of their marriage into that same small box. Now the guilt spilling out was threatening to drown him.
It felt wrong to be thinking of his ex-wife while lying with the love of his life wrapped in his arms, but Markus knew if he was going to take his place as the Dom of his marriage, he had no choice but to deal with his failures from the past head-on to ensure he never made the same mistakes with Bri. He wallowed in his guilt for several long minutes more before regaining control of his wayward emotions.
Looking back, he’d known, even on the day they got married, he’d not given his whole heart to Georgie. Not really. At least, not in a way a husband should. He’d loved the idea of being married, and he had certainly loved dominating his beautiful full-time submissive, but even at the time he’d subconsciously known he used his natural dominance as a shield to keep not only his wife, but other aspects of his life, at arm’s length. While that shield helped make him a successful lawyer, it made him a shitty husband.
Meeting Brianna had changed everything, and Markus had promptly cut Lukus out of his life after meeting her. He’d told himself at the time he was just protecting Bri from being around the BDSM scene since it was through BDSM she’d met her former abusive boyfriend, Jake. But the raw truth was that Markus hadn’t just cooled his friendship with Lukus because of Bri. It had just as much to do with his shame over how he’d let Lukus down when things fell apart with Georgie.
As hard as it was for Markus to admit, he’d been a coward. Lukus had been riding his ass for months after Georgie left and it was easier to cut Lukus out than it was to admit his own failings. Right or wrong, Markus had looked at Brianna as his do-over and he hadn’t wanted any of his past mistakes to bleed over into his new marriage.
The fact Lukus had forgiven him was nothing short of a miracle. Markus made a silent pledge to never again let his invisible wall hold back his relationship with the closest thing he’d ever have to a brother.
Markus continued to let the memories of that failed night replay over and over until he felt almost sick to his stomach, unshed tears blurring his vision.
“Honey, what’s wrong? Oh, my God, Markus. I’m so sorry I hurt you so much. Please, don’t cry.”
Markus had been so lost in his guilt as he remembered the second worst night of his life—last night being the worst—that he’d missed Brianna stirring awake by his barely suppressed sobs. To his utter shame, Markus found himself giving into his tears in front of his wife.
Way to go, Lambert. You find out your wife, the love of your life, is desperate for a strong Dom in her life and you can’t stop yourself from crying every fucking ten minutes. Keep it up. You’re going to lose her just like you lost Georgie. Fuck, maybe I don’t deserve her anyway.
“Markus, please. Tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me.” Brianna had raised herself up to look down at her husband from above. She used her fingers to brush at his tears. Her touch was soft and comforting.
There was just enough light left in the room from the remaining candles for Markus to see how concerned she was, and he wondered what he’d done to deserve a second chance at love with this beautiful, sexy woman. It was, in part, his inability to recognize her deep submissive needs that had driven her into the arms of another man. Now that he had her back, he wouldn’t lose her again.
Swiping at his tears, he finally found his voice. “Bri, sweetheart. There’s something I need to tell you.”
An expression of mixed surprise and fear crossed her face. “Is everything okay, honey? Oh please, don’t tell me you can’t forgive me after all. I swear to you, I will never,ever,cheat on you again. I love you so much. I’ll do any…”
Markus quieted his wife by placing two fingers against her trembling lips. “Shush. I know you won’t, sweetheart. It’s not about that.”
Brianna sighed. “What is it, Markus? What could have you so upset if it isn’t what I did?”
Markus pushed into a sitting position, throwing a pillow behind his back as he leaned against the slated headboard.
Leave it to Lukus to have the perfect bed for tying down wayward subs.
He pulled Brianna to him, depositing her in his lap, their faces just inches apart. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, subconsciously cradling her as if to avoid letting her slip through his fingers again. He was nervous as hell, but as close as they were, they’d both been keeping way too many painful secrets from each other—secrets that had just about ruined their marriage. As afraid as he was to tell her everything, he knew he had no alternative. There would never again be any secrets between them. Not if he had anything to say about it.
Reaching to stroke her cheek, Markus took control. “Bri, it’s clear we’ve both been keeping way too many things from each other and that’s going to stop, starting tonight. It may take time, but we’re gonna talk until we have nothing hidden, do you hear me? You’re going to tell me more about what made you go to the BDSM clubs in the first place years ago and what it is you’ve been missing in our marriage that made you risk going anywhere with that asshole who hurt you so badly in the past.”
When Brianna opened her mouth to speak, Markus gently moved his fingers to her lips again. “Not yet, baby. You’re not the only one who’s been keeping secrets. I need to go first. I need to tell you why I never told you about my being a Dom, about being a member of The Punishment Pit, and about why I never told you Georgie was my full-time submissive.”
