Page 63 of Balancing it All


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She felt conflicted. She was a voyeur, not an exhibitionist. “Why is it important?”

He looked surprised at her candid question. “I’m not entirely sure. The first thing that comes to mind is that I’d want to show you off, and make sure everyone acknowledges my stake on you. I know it will take you out of your comfort zone, but that’s part of what I like about the idea.” Uncertainty rolled off him.

“I can tell you’re holding back.”

His smile was indulgent. “I forget you can read me. I admit it. Most of the time I don’t feel like we’re in a D/s relationship, Tiff. At least, not one I’m used to. I’ve never been with a woman who challenges me like you do. A woman I let challenge me like you do.” He paused to reflect. “I guess part of me needs to know you can and will submit to me, baby. Submit to something outside your comfort zone simply because I ask it of you. You remind me daily that’s not the kind of relationship we have, at least not yet.”

Her breath caught. She wanted to argue that she’d been the perfect sub, but she knew he was right. She’d pushed him at every turn—tested him. So far, he’d always backed down at the first sign of her shaky line in the sand.

Lukus’s stare bore into her as if he could read her racing mind. She shut her eyes to stay focused. To her relief, he didn’t rush her.

When she opened her eyes several moments later, he was waiting patiently. “Penny for your thoughts.”

“No worries. I’ll give my thoughts for free. I owe you an apology, Lukus.”

That had his attention. She kept going before he could interrupt her. “You’re right. I don’t think I’ve been doing it on purpose, but I can see how you’ve had to bend a lot more for our relationship than I have. You’ve given up doing all of the shows at your dream club. You’ve come out to my house way more than half the time. You let me sass you without turning me over your knee ten times a day. There are so many things you’ve done to avoid freaking me out, and I really do appreciate it.”

His smile was forgiving. “I’m just trying to ease you into the lifestyle, and show you I’m nothing like Jake. I liked your analogy of us each trying not to pull on the tug-of-war rope too hard.”

Tiffany was surprised with the first thought that crossed her mind. Dare she say it?

“Well, I do appreciate it, but…”

Just say it. You know you want to, Tiff.’

He was waiting. He was vigilant.

“But… well, I’m feeling a lot better, and if you want to—or need to… well, you know.”

His damn smug grin was alarming. “No, I’m afraid I don’t know. Explain it.”

“Jerk. You know what I’m…” She stopped mid-sentence at his scowl.

I must be brain dead. I seriously need to stop calling him a jerk.

“Be careful. You’re already at fifty-five spanks for tonight. Add ten more for ‘jerk’ and another ten just because I can.”

“Wait!”

He was serious again. “I’ve been waiting patiently, Tiff. You refuse to sign a club contract. Fine. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have to figure out the boundaries of our relationship. Vanillas don’t have this problem, but I want more. I think you want more. Tonight’s game. Taking you to shows. It’s all helping, but in the end, you need to ask me. The next step has to come from you.”

It was getting real. The moment felt important. Instead of panicking, a welcome sense of calm settled over Tiffany.

“How could you know what I’m going to say?” she asked quietly.

“Baby, I’m a Dom. I want to be your Dom. I’m not always going to ask you what you want. In fact, let’s be clear. Sexually, I’ll almost never ask. I shouldn’t have to. I’ve been doing everything I can to understand your limits, but we’ve gone as far as we can without…” His voice trailed off. She was surprised to see vulnerability as he waited for her next words.

“I get it. You need my boundaries. Well, for starters, branding is a hard limit for me. Come near me with a hot poker and I’ll stick it up your ass. Sir.”

To her relief, he was laughing with her. “Well, duh. I didn’t need that one spelled out for me.”

With great clarity, Tiffany knew in that moment that she was helplessly in love with the incredible man holding her. She hated how needy that realization made her feel, but the thought of walking away from what they’d started seemed impossible. More importantly, she knew she’d never be happy with a watered-down version of the extraordinary man.

Their faces were inches apart as they continued their stare down. Tiff got light-headed from her shallow breathing. In spite of all she’d seen tonight, or maybe because of it, she knew what she needed to say; what he needed to hear. They were the words that would take their relationship to a deeper level.

“Lukus… Sir. I trust you. Will you please be my Dom, not just while we are playing, but, well…”

It seemed Lukus had been holding his breath too, as he released it in a big whoosh. Still, he looked so serious.

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