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“Lotte, take a breath.” Cassandra turned me fully away from the slight reflection casting over myself in the mirror and quickly ran to the sofa.
What was she doing? What happened to the make-up she was applying? I couldn’t feel the soft feathering of the strokes of her brush drifting across my skin on my cheeks. All I could hear was the sound of muffled noises enveloping around me.
“Hang on Lotte.”
I felt my head going fuzzy and my eyes becoming heavy as a hand rubbed across the length of my back and guided my head down lower toward my knees.
“Just breathe slowly and listen to the sound of my voice, okay?” she asked in a calm and soothing tone.
I listened to Cassandra’s voice as the sound of paper crunching in front of me to the rhythm of my breaths began to filter through the haze.
Was that a paper bag?
I slowly continued my slow breathing as Cassandra requested until I became more alert of my surroundings. I opened my eyes, realizing that my ears hadn’t been deceiving me. It had been a paper bag I’d been breathing in to. I leant backwards against the chair back and tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall as I pulled the bag away from my mouth and cast a long hard look at a very stricken-faced Cassandra.
“Are you okay? Have you had episodes like that before?” She reached for my hand and indicated for us to head across to sit down on the comfier looking sofa.
I shook my head from left to right before Cassandra guided my unsteady frame across. I forced myself not to crumble to my knees and let my emotions tumble out. I was strong. I didn’t let my emotions overcome me but for some reason, I let my barricade drop around Cassandra. I don’t know why but it was as if you could see the fear radiating off my body.
“Never, but I’ve not received anything like that before,” I admitted. I glanced over to where the piece of paper was placed and I felt a shudder travel through my body. It wasn’t just the hate that had spiraled through the words written. It was an intended warning that I should heed. “Someone seems to think it’s funny to try and make me squirm. It could be a game, maybe?”
“Squirm, are you-”
A knock on the door disturbed Cassandra’s words and I quickly started to wrack my brain with an excuse of how I could get rid of whoever was on the other side without raising an alarm to the production team. I couldn’t cope with having to explain what was going on. It would only make the gossip spread about me and then I’d look like a cowering mess of an actress who couldn’t cope with the strain of the job. I couldn’t have my name thrown through the mud like that. My mother would have a field day for one knowing that my comeuppance had finally smacked me right where it hurt. Nope. I wasn’t paid to be an actress for the fun of it. I had skill and if I had to put on a show now to fool whoever dared disturb us, then I would.
“It’s Alexis and Raphael, Miss Baxterly.” I looked over to Cass and widened my eyes in wonderment. I’d never heard of them before.
“Who?” I mouthed silently to her, not wanting them to hear me.
“Your hair and wardrobe team,” she whispered to me. “Let me try and get rid of them.” I nodded in thanks but the moment Cassandra opened the door, the pair pushed straight past her and headed in my direction with their trolleys in tow.
I held my hand up and tutted loudly in an attempt to grab both of their attention. Their eyes wandered up and down my form, probably assessing the process of how big a task they had to transform me.
“Can we rearrange this later?” I began.
Raphael waved his hand in the air before he dropped it onto his hip and sashayed toward me, squinting his brows together in confusion at my question.
“I can’t do this now,” I stated.
“Sorry but no, I can’t,” Raphael said. “We’re on a tight schedule. I have other people to get prepped for their slots.”
Alexis gazed at me. “I thought you’d be finished by now, Cass. Are you struggling to keep up with the pace?”
“Of course not!” Cassandra bellowed back. “I have been here a lot longer than you. It’s just something has come up. An issue—”
“Out! Now!” I shouted, cutting her off. The thread I’d been hanging onto had just snapped and I needed them to get out of here. Production team be damned. I’d deal with the onslaught later if I needed to. I bared my gaze at Cassandra, silently telling her to shut up with whatever she wanted to say to Alexis and Raphael. I didn’t know them. It wasn’t Iike my relationship with Cass; I had a connection with her. I didn’t trust who would discover what was going on in my life. It was my business to share, not hers and if she didn’t respect that, then I’d happily show her the door alongside the others. “I need to sort this out. I won’t ask again!”
“But—” Alexis began as I lifted a brow at them before I reached for the bottle of water and unscrewed the lid. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.” I narrowed my eyes at them and stood up, not caring about the expensive clothes on the rack by Raphael’s side or the intricate curls on Alexis’s head. AIexis and Raphael could go and whine at Travis Lumsden all they wanted. It wouldn’t change a thing about me throwing them out of my dressing room. He could stand there and have a hissy fit if he wanted to. I didn’t care in the slightest as my mindset was more important than ensuring a schedule kept me on track. If they didn’t allow me to compartmentalize my thoughts, then I’d be of no use to anyone. I knew they’d certainly struggle to film their hospital show without the leading lady. “I don’t care who you are. I’ll drench those clothes and you. Get out!” I screamed the last part at the stunned duo before I ushered them out of the door. “I’ll contact you when I’m ready…”
I didn’t give two shits about the stunned expressions that they had plastered on their faces. I had to be logical and if I didn’t get them away from me and fast, then I was certain my façade would crumble and they would spot the letter. The last thing I needed was a team of people on my case about my safety, especially if they spotted the blood on the paper and clicked that it was real. I’d never hear the last of it. I just wanted to gain my composure and continue on like nothing had happened.
However, I had forgotten that I had the issue of Cassandra to deal with. I could tell from her initial reaction that she was concerned by what she’d seen. Her skin had turned a deathly white tone and it even shone through the layers of her precision applied make-up. Although, it was as if Cassandra had forgotten about her own thoughts the moment she spotted me. She’d automatically brought her own walls up quickly and forgot about her own needs. Instead, she turned her sole focus and attention onto me when I allowed my panic to overcome me. I’d never had someone do that for me before. I’d never have allowed someone to get that close to me normally but I hadn’t really had the choice with the circumstances. I had required that support in that moment of need, even if I couldn’t have admitted it out loud. Cassandra hadn’t let me down and I would never forget that.
“I don’t care what you say.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it out for me to see. “I’m concerned and before you start, hear me out.”
“I’m listening.” I tutted, knowing how it must have sounded but I really didn’t see the issue. It was just a letter that someone had sent.
