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“Because I can’t go there. Not with you.”
Her face falls and I want to explain. I want to tell her that it’s nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. I want to tell her that it’s because I’m not capable of treating her the way she deserves to be treated. That I can take her to bed, but that will be it, and I don’t know if I can handle the look on her face when I leave after it’s all done.
“It’s...” Fuck. I’msonot good at this. I can walk away from my troubles like a boss, but staying and talking...I suck at it. “You’re hot, okay? It’s nothing to do with that.”
She tilts her head in a way that reminds me of an adorable puppy. “So it’s not because there’s a lack of physical chemistry.”
I laugh. “Hell no. That’s not it at all.”
We’re still standing at the river, and a group of drunk girls totter past giggling and singing. On the water, there’s a cruise boat stuffed full of partygoers. Music floats toward us and so does the sound of laughter and cheering. They’re all so obliviously happy.
“I’m not asking for a ring, Owen.” She nudges me with her elbow. “I already got that.”
“Whatareyou asking for?” I go against my better judgement with that question, but the air is burning up around us and we’re standing close enough that I could capture her lips with mine.
“One night.” Her chest rises and falls with a big breath. “Get it out of our systems. I’d like very much to be able to concentrate on the job and I just...can’t. Not with the tension distracting me.”
One night, no strings, with the girl I’ve crushed on ever since she walked into the first-day induction session at the Victoria Police Academy. It would be so easy to say yes.
“No.” The word comes out a lot weaker than I’d hoped.
“Why?”
“Because the whole one-night thing doesn’t work when you know the person. It’s all fine to say we’ll act like it never happened, but we both know that’s bullshit.”
“What if I wasn’t me?” There’s a darkness to her expression, a simmering heat that pulls me in. “What if I was someone else?”
“What?”
“I’m already playing a role. Hannah Essex.” She wriggles her fingers and my mother’s ring glints in the light. “I can simply change roles and be someone else.”
She wants it that badly? My fingers twitch and my cock is aching for release—I’ve been in a semi-state of excitement for days and this is only making it worse. How long before I break? How long before my willpower is a billion glittering shards?
“Surely you’re not intimidated by a bit of role play?” Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips and I’m about ready to fall to my knees in front of her.
“I’m not afraid of role play.” I grit the words out.
“Then I’m going to be in that bar, ordering a drink.” She turns and points to a little hole-in-the-wall place with the ambient glow of low-hanging lights. “If you come find me, we’ll pretend to be other people for the night.”
Bloody hell. “And if I don’t come find you?”
“Then I have my answer.”
She turns and walks across the tree-lined boulevard, pausing at the edge of the bar to shrug out of her coat. Her dress glimmers, like stars winking at me, beckoning me closer. I catch the flash of her toned, bare legs and those shiny silver shoes before she disappears inside.
CHAPTER TEN
Hannah
MYHEARTISpounding a million miles a minute as I enter the dimly lit bar. The place is full, but not bursting. A beautiful curved bar in gold and pearl-white wraps around the back two corners of the room. Ornate pendant lights emit a warm glow, and velvet chairs dot the space, where people sit drinking and talking. Most wear suits or pretty dresses—they’ve probably come from seeing a show at the Arts Centre.
When a couple vacate the bar, I claim one of the empty seats.
Will Owen follow me in here? Is he outside stewing over his decision or has he already started walking home? I can’t get his words out of my head.
Nothing will ever stop you, Anderson. You’re a force.
When it comes to work and my career, I’ve worn that label with pride. I’m ambitious and I have the respect of my colleagues and superiors. But the second I shrug out of my blue uniform, I somehow shrug out of my confidence, too.
