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I strip off my shirt and shoes and socks and jeans, dumping everything unceremoniously into a pile. Hannah hasn’t even noticed; her eyes are still clamped shut and now she’s sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she works the vibrator faster. She rolls her hips, as if simulating what she wants to come next. It’s glorious. Vulnerable and yet strong, and so honest.
That’s the one thing I have always admired about Hannah...she is who she is. Unlike me, who’s so far deep into character that I don’t even know who I am anymore. Being with her is like having a light shone on the darkest, most damaged part of me.
For a moment I consider walking away and denying myself because it’s the easiest option. As if she senses my swirling thoughts, her eyes slowly open and she looks at me through her lashes. “Come here.”
I sink to my knees on the end of the bed, but she beckons me closer still. I crawl up beside her and run my palm over her legs—up her shin, over the curve of her knee and up her thigh.
“I want you to touch me while I do this.” Her voice is soft, whispered. But her gaze holds me prisoner and I know I’d never be able to deny her. “It’s better with something inside me.”
I can’t help but moan, and I trail my hand over the curve at her hip and dip down over the slick lips of her sex. I brush past the vibrator and down further, noticing how she angles herself to me. Encouraging me.
“Yes, there.” Her eyes are shut again and I rub my fingertip against her entrance, coating myself in her. When I push my finger inside, she lets out a satisfied gasp that makes heat surge through me. “Fuck me with it.”
I slide my finger in and out, slowly at first. Testing her. But her head turns and she whispers in my ear, urging me on. Her sex is hot and tight, and I’m so wound up I want nothing more than to sink my cock in her. But I want to see her come first. So I stroke her harder, faster. Following the rhythm she’s set and soon she’s shaking. Her thighs tremble and her muscles clench around my finger.
“Oh God, Owen.” She turns, pressing her forehead to my chest as she starts to come. “Yes, yes.”
She works the buzzing device over her clit until she’s cresting, and I sink another finger inside her at the last second. She shatters, crying out my name so loud Iknowthe neighbours must hear us. And that doesn’t bother me one bit. Because the second she comes back down to earth, those big brown eyes locking on to mine, I know I haven’t been this happy in years. Not for most of my life.
But I don’t want to feel like that. I don’t want to have those “what if this could be it?” moments. I’m terrified by the way she makes me feel. Absolutely, utterly fucking terrified.
“I turn into an animal around you.” She presses her lips to my chest and I stroke her hair, taming the fluffy flyaways that frame her face. “I lose all sense of myself.”
“Or maybe you lose all sense of who you think you’re supposed to be.” I tilt her face up to mine and kiss her long and slow. “Maybe this isexactlywho you are.”
A curious expression flitters over her face. “And this is exactly who you are, isn’t it?”
“A guy who likes sex?” I try to hide myself with a cocky smile, but it’s too late. I’ve shown too much.
“That crap won’t work anymore.” She presses her hands to my chest and pushes me back against the big bed.
With lazy, languid movements she straddles me, her knees digging into the covers on either side of my hips. My worries are dulled now, smoothed over by the feel of her warm body as she grabs my hands and tugs them up to her breasts. I love this confidence in her. It’s the ultimate turn-on.
And I love her breasts, obviously.
“I see you.” She arches into my touch, letting out a satisfied hum as I flick my thumbs over her nipples.
“And?” I can’t help but ask, even though I know it’s only going to lead down the wrong path.
“I like it. I like knowing who you really are, under all the smiles and the jokes. You’re a good person, Owen.”
No, I’m not. I’m a broken guy with crippling survivor’s guilt who abandoned his grandmother when she needed him most. The only thing I’ve ever been good at was my job as a police officer, and I couldn’t even handle that.
I amfarfrom “good.”
I want to correct her, but her hands slither down her body and reach for my cock. When she touches me, I can’t focus my brain on anything else. Her hands slide up and down, squeezing me. Working me over. I let my head sink back into the pillows.
“Feels good?” she asks, her voice husky and low. Her hands continue to play with my cock.
“That’s a rhetorical question, right?” I’m mesmerised by her fluffy cloud of hair and the intense expression on her face—her pink-flushed cheeks and sooty lashes and her kiss-roughened mouth. “Yes, it feels insanely good.”
We pause to grab a condom and she’s back on top before I can miss her—rolling the rubber down my length. Dragging the tip of me back and forth through her slick folds, she teases me for a second before she finds the right spot. Then I’m entering her. Both of us groan when she hits that point—where I’m all the way in, and she’s totally filled by me.
Hannah swears under her breath, moving tentatively at first. “Oh God. That feels...”
“Fucking incredible.”
The gentle rocking of her hips is like sweet, sweet torture. It’s too slow and too much and too everything. “Owen.” My name is a sigh on her lips. “I think I’m ruined.”
