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“So this is...for now? Forever?”
Forever isn’t even in Owen’s vocabulary. That was always the issue—he wanted freedom to run and I’m the kind of woman who commits. I pick something and stick to it. He avoids attachments. Not exactly a match made in heaven.
“Is anything forever?” He gives me one of those Owen shrugs, but this time it feels honest. Not like an avoidance tactic. “If I could have my way and know how the future would turn out, then yeah. But I don’t even know how tomorrow will turn out.”
Ain’t that the truth.
“All I know is that this place made me the happiest I’ve been since I was a kid.” He jams his hands into his pockets. “Being withyoumade me the happiest I’ve been since I was a kid.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m stunned. “But our conversation in the hospital...”
“I was still processing everything. I thought I had my whole life figured out. I was going to keep running, keep avoiding. Easy peasy. Then you came along and my head got all messed up. My heart got messed up. I started wanting things I thought I didn’t deserve. And when we thought you were pregnant...”
When his voice cracks it’s like someone reaching into my chest and squeezing my heart.
“I was terrified, honestly. But I kept thinking about it—what it would be like to have a family. How I knew you’d be an amazing mum.” His smile is charming and sexy and just a little bit shattered. “And I wondered if maybe I could be a good parent, too. If I could be a good dad and a good husband.”
“Of course you could be.” He has no idea how much goodness is in him. “Just because something bad happened to you doesn’t mean it was your fault.”
“I know. I, uh...my nan convinced me to speak to someone.”
“That’s really great, Owen. How was it?”
“Weird. Uncomfortable.” He laughed. “I hated it, honestly. But I’ll keep at it because I know it’ll help in the long run.”
My eyes are swimming and my heart is hopeful, because the man I see before me is a man who’s turned a corner. He’s got so much to work through. But now he’s trying. He’s moving forward.
He comes closer and I try not to stare at how incredible his body is. I’m trying to be supportive, butdamn, it’s not easy. “Eyes up here, Anderson.”
“Then put a bloody T-shirt on.” I fold my arms over my chest, turning away because I know my face is now the same shade as a tomato. My ears are burning, too.
He grins. “What areyoudoing here, anyway?”
“I happened to be in the neighbourhood.” It comes out way more defensively than I want it to. “I bumped into Drew and she brought me up here.”
“You didn’t tell her we’re not married anymore?”
“It didn’t come up in conversation. Anyway, she said she spoke to you earlier today and it sounds likeyoudidn’t say anything, either.”
“Didn’t come up in conversation,” he echoes.
“Funny that.”
We stare at each other for a minute, like two dogs eyeing one another up. There’s a crackling tension between us—it’s vibrant and exciting and I feel better than I have in weeks. Better than I have ever.
When I’m with Owen I feel powerful and excited and...I feel like I can conquer anything.
God, I want this to work. I want with all my heart to go on this crazy, magical ride with Owen and see where it takes us. Because my gut tells me this feeling I have—this fluttery, terrified, glittering feeling is special. It’s love. There’s a path before us that leads somewhere beautiful, if only we have the courage to walk it.
I can see myself growing old with Owen. I can see it as bright and vivid as if it were a photograph in front of me. I know him, know his quirks and his pain and his heart.
But I can’t sacrifice who I am—my career or my desires for the future—because he’s afraid. If we’re going to do this, then it’ll be with dreams intact and hand in hand as equals. Fear and all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Owen
IKNOWWHATI want but trying to put it in words is like dangling myself over the edge of a cliff. The potential consequences roar inside me. The difference now is that something else is louder—hope. Standing in this empty apartment, with Hannah’s big brown eyes watching me, is surreal. I never thought I’d get to this point.
