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I want to slap him and kiss him at the same time, but I can’t really complain. Ididchoose this outfit with every intention of showing him what he can’t have—except I know I’ll fold like a bad hand of poker the second he asks me for anything.
Because as much as I want to lump him in with my ex, I can’t. Vas wouldneverhave held me while I cried. He would never have told me a personal story so I knew I wasn’t alone. He would never have tucked me into bed after letting me fall asleep on his couch.
Hell,no. My ex would have sent one of his staff in to deal with me and he would have extracted himself with all the precision of a practised playboy. But Flynn is...different.
“Did you get that suit in the Obnoxious Asshole department?” I retort.
“I did actually.” He runs his hands down his chest, grinning like a sexy villain. “It’s my favourite area of the Rich Dickheads Department Store.”
I burst out laughing. “I really want to hate you, you know that?”
“Same.” Something hot and warning flashes across his face. “It’s most annoying.”
“Why did you leave the other day?” The question rushes out of me before I have a chance to eventhinkabout holding it back. Dammit, why do I get like this around him? He doesn’t owe me anything and I like it that way because it meansIdon’t owehim.
He sighs and for a minute I think he’s going to give me his “I had to work” bullshit. But he leans back in his chair and knots his hands in front of him. “I felt like I was getting too close.”
“Really?” I’m not sure what else to say and I don’t know whether it’s comforting or terrifying that he feels the same as I do.
“Yeah. There’s something...addictive about you.”
I sigh at his word choice. “Funny, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about you.”
“I don’t understand it.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “We want opposite things and I promised myself I wasn’t going to compromise. Idon’tcompromise for anyone else.”
But he has for me. It fills my heart, smooths over all the dents and cracks. And truthfully, I’m different around him, too. I’d never let any other man comfort me the way he did on the weekend—I’d make damn sure I was nowhere near anyone before I let it all out. But around Flynn I feel...safe.
“Your sister tells me you can’t stay in one place for long,” he adds. “She called you a nomad.”
It’s true. But besides Presley, I’ve never had anyone whowantsme to stay and my relationship with my twin is complicated. I’ve never really belonged anywhere, so I keep moving. “I haven’t tried to hide that part of me.”
“I know, but the reminder was something I needed to hear.”
From where I sit, facing his desk, I can see the back of a photo frame. I reach for it and Flynn doesn’t stop me—the picture is of him, Zoe and another man I assume is his brother. They both share the same blue eyes and red hair. The little girl is laughing with her whole body, and the love on Flynn’s face is so genuine my heart wants to break.
“She was diagnosed with Batten disease two years ago,” he says. Now there’s no teasing in his expression, no joy.
I trace a finger over the little girl’s sweet face. “Will she be okay?”
“Most people with Batten disease die in their teens or early twenties.”
It’s not the response I’m expecting, and the information socks me in the chest.
“Her vision is already deteriorating and there’s a strong chance she’ll start to experience seizures in the next few years. Among other things.” Flynn’s voice is thick and I suck on my lower lip to stem my tears. I won’t cry in front of him again, but hearing the raw pain in his voice—no matter how well he tries to hide it—is killing me. “There’s no cure, as yet.Thisis why I work as hard as I do. My company is trying to find a way to slow these symptoms, to give these wonderful people and their families more time together.”
“That’s why you don’t do casual, because of her.”
“I had a mother who refused to put her children before her own hedonistic needs. Zoe’s mother did the same...she abandoned her the way my mother abandoned Gabe and me.” He reaches for the photo and places it back on his desk. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be a source of stability for her because I know what it’s like to be treated as a temporary, disposable thing.”
Oh, God. Listening to this big, sexy man open up like this...
I know what he means. My mother wasn’t as bad as his, by the sounds of it, but I never felt like I mattered. And in similar situations, Flynn and I have become polar opposites. He’s dug his heels into the ground, becoming a pillar of strength and stability.
And I’ve given stability the middle finger.
Similar circumstances have forced us in opposite directions, as if we’re two identical poles on a magnet repelling each other. Pushing away. And yet...
I still want him. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m drawn to him even though I know I won’t allow myself to commit. Every other time I’ve done it I’ve ended up with my heart bruised and bleeding. Feeling unworthy.Beingunworthy.
