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“How could you possibly think that? The whole point of...what we did was for me to avoid this.”
“You love your mother, Ava. I could see it plain as day when I came for dinner. You have a good family.”
The words pierce and twist. “So... Why do you want to talk? I thought we said everything there was to say.”
We’re standing in the entryway, and I don’t dare take him one step farther into the house.
“I wanted to see how you were doing,” he says.
“You don’t have to act like you care anymore.” There’s no sting in my voice—just a sense of resignation. Trying to act unaffected 24/7 is exhausting and I have nothing left.
My mother has hovered around me all day, which tells me I’mnotdoing a fantastic job of hiding my emotions. But the well of my heart is so empty, nothing can cover it up.
“I was worried when you refused to look at the Cielo apartment.”
Sending the keys back had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done—because, for the first time, I had to rely on my mother instead of finding my own way. But accepting Daniel’s help was out of the question. Neither the email with the details for the apartment inspection nor the cheques had come with a personal note. He was doing what he always did—throwing money at a problem.
Using money to avoid his feelings.
“It’s not your duty to keep watch over me.”
He looks like he wants to argue further, but he shakes his head instead. “I’m trying to uphold my end of the deal.”
The deal, because that’s all he’ll ever let us be. A business arrangement. It stings, even now, that he can’t admit what he feels.
“What do you want?” I fold my arms across my chest. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve done enough talking. If Daniel wants anything out of me, then he needs to ask for it.
Or maybe beg. I wouldn’t mind seeing that.
We face off like two animals sizing one another up—Matthews womenarestubborn, my mother was right about that. This is one area where I can’t compromise. Having Daniel on the fringes wouldn’t be enough. Having a half relationship of living together without love wouldn’t be enough, even if the sex is hot enough to melt the ground beneath my feet.
“I have something to say.” His dark gaze meets mine without hesitation. Without reservation.
I motion with my hand, trying my hardest not to let him see how hurt I am. “Don’t wait for an invitation.”
“I’ve always had trouble opening up about my feelings,” he begins and I shoot him a look that saysuh, duh!“Growing up, my house was chaos. My parents’ marriage was tumultuous, and their divorce was even worse. Marc needed someone to keep the stability, so I became a pseudo parent and tried to be the rock in his life.”
I don’t want to feel compassion for him, but it bubbles up immediately. I can easily imagine him as a young boy—proud, protective of his little brother. An adult too soon.
There’s that big heart of his.
“I managed to trace every problem in my life back to a relationship—my father’s affairs, my mother’s love for a man who would never give her what she wanted.” He stares at me with those intense black-brown eyes and this time there are no walls. Daniel is laying himself bare in front of me. “I thought I needed to be the one to put my family first, like nobody else had. I appointed myself as ‘protector’ of our family. I felt responsible to fix things.”
I understand that need right down to my bones. There’d been times when, as a child, I’d tried to set my mother up with my teachers, thinking it might make her happy. Thinking it might stop her from crying at night.
“Only I realised recently, that while I was looking back trying to fix the mistakes of others, I was making a whole lot of mistakes myself. I wanted my family back, and I was pushing away the beautiful woman standing in front of me.” For a moment his expression falters, and his true vulnerability shines through. “I found out yesterday why Marc didn’t believe me. One of my board members was feeding him lies to stage a hostile takeover.”
I blink. NowthatI was not expecting. “What the hell?”
“Marc was his pawn, because someone wanted me out of the CEO position. I’m too difficult to manipulate, apparently,” he says with a distinct note of bitterness.
“I would have thought that was a point of pride.”
“I guess it should be, only I feel as though I’ve let my logic and morals deteriorate some other important aspects of my life. Like my ability to trust people. My ability to love.” He comes toward me, reaching for my hand, and I allow him to touch me. “You were right to call me on my bullshit. I was using the arrangement to protect myself from what I was feeling. To protect myself from the thing I’ve been most afraid of. But the truth is...”
His pause seems to stretch on forever—so important that it slows down every cell in my body.
“What we’ve shared is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, and I don’t mean the sex...amazing as that was. It was everything that came before and after—the things I told you that I’ve never told anyone else.” When he looks down at me, it’s as if I’m turning my face to the sun. No longer is Daniel shielded by icy remoteness, he’s real. Raw. Open and bare right in front of me. “I couldn’t believe how quickly we connected, because I never let anyone in. Not even my own family.”
