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Jax’s full mouth tips up into a smile. “Is that right?”
Jem appears in the doorway, and I step out of his way as he walks in. Barely registering anybody, he crosses to Ruby. Sitting, he says something I don’t hear and smoothes Ruby’s damp hair from her face before placing a soft kiss on her lips. Ruby’s face softens as she touches his face with her slender fingers. I’d say they were cute, but I’m unsure the word fits this pair.
Wrapping an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, Jem surveys the others. “Awesome job, guys.”
“Thanks! Glad you thought so.” Jax’s eyes shine to match the perspiration on his face, the eagerness to impress Jem obvious.
“What did you think?” Jem asks, looking at me.
Jem always frightened me; when I was a kid he’d visit Bryn with the Blue Phoenix guys and there was a sense of something off about him. His unhappiness radiated over the tough image even then, and when I heard of and witnessed his addiction and relapses into drugs and alcohol, I wasn’t surprised.
Now, the haunted look in Jem’s eyes has retreated, the gauntness in his face gone, but he still holds an edginess enhanced by his long curls and tall frame. I doubt Jem will ever lose the image he portrays to the world. The Jem in front of me today is sober; and instead of dilated pupils and unhappiness, there’s contentedness, emphasised by the way he looks at Ruby - as if she’s the most precious thing in his world.
“Loved it,” I say to Jem. “Amazing performance.”
“You gonna watch us too?” Jem asks.
“Yeah. Maybe from more of a distance, I don’t want trampling by girls trying to get a piece of you all.”
Ruby snorts with amusement and chugs back her bottle of water. She’s avoided addressing me directly. Is she embarrassed about earlier?
“Hey! There were chicks wanting a piece of us!” protests Will.
“I noticed,” says Jax in a low voice. I look round and he raises an eyebrow at me.
I need to get these hormones under control and re-engage my brain.
“Want a beer, Tegan?” asks Nate, holding a bottle in my direction.
Alcohol as well? No way, any more intoxication and I’ll be attached to Jax before the evening ends.
“I’m good.” I point to the door. “Want to catch Bryn before, you know, on stage —”
What the hell with the stammering? Leave, Tegan, and get a grip.
This isn’t me.
Without another sound, I head out the door and in the direction of the stage door again. I don’t want to see Bryn. I want to find a seat as far as possible from here where I can wait for my brother to play, and tune into them instead.
“Tegan!”
I stop at the sound of Jax’s voice and turn as he approaches. His face shines, and the salty scent of his damp skin digs further into the primal part of me aroused by this guy. We’re nowhere near as close as in the elevator earlier, but my nerve-endings tingle as if we were touching. Jax wipes his damp hair from his face and turns the smile to me he’s used so many time before. This time it works, ramping my heartbeat.
“Thanks for watching us,” he says.
“You were good.”
He grins. “I know.”
“Conceited!”
“Yeah, but it’s true. If I don’t believe in myself and the band to that degree, we won’t be as good as we are.”
“Now I believe what you’ve been telling me. You’re definitely a rock star, Jaxon.”
He purses his lips. “Jaxon isn’t a rock star, Jax is.”
“Who’s Jaxon then?”
