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I planted a hand on my hip and frowned at him. “How do you figure that?”
“Again, I’m the man. It’s my fucking responsibility.”
“I’m the one who hauled you against me. I’m the one who basically molested you. I’m the one who was responsible for all of that. You aren’t to blame for any of it. It was all my doing,” I responded. Dean was already shaking his head before I even finished speaking.
“No, Amara,” He replied, his voice grave. “It’s my doing. And trust me, that was the furthest fucking thing from molesting. I would have had no problem pushing you off of me if I had an issue with any of that. Which is why it was my fault for not stopping us from going to far.”
I blinked, then threw my hands up. I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with any of this. I couldn’t even figure out how I was feeling about all of it, except for an undercurrent of shame and embarrassment.
I shook my head and slowly shut the door in Dean’s face.
21
Dean
I sighed, turning away from Amara’s door. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to come to terms with what just happened. I went from the happiest man on earth to the saddest motherfucker in the history of mankind. I couldn’t believe I had let that go so far. I swiped a hand down my face, hating myself for being such a fuck up.
I moved over to the couch, dropping heavily on it. I had already cleaned up and changed before I talked to Amara. I figured it would have been awkward as fuck to talk to her with my own cum sitting in my crotch. I didn’t realize she was going to try to take responsibility for what had happened though. That had definitely caught me by surprise.
I put both of my hands behind my head and sunk into the couch a bit more. I didn’t know what I was going to do - I had completely broken Amara’s trust when I threw her in the dungeon and I knew I was trying to repair our relationship, but this was clearly not the right way to go about it. My wolf, of course, disagreed.
I was beginning to think he was disagreeing with me purely on principle these days.
I shook my head, glancing at the door Amara was locked behind again. I groaned and then shifted on the couch and laid down, tucking one of my arms behind my head again. I didn’t know if I’d end up going to sleep with the way my wolf was basically jumping around like he had won the lottery - or, a big juicy steak, which was like a wolf lottery.
My eyes closed and I let my thoughts drift back to Amara’s soft lips and the way she fit to me so perfectly. My hands ached to wrap around her waist again and squeeze her hips closer to me. I couldn’t believe that had actually happened. I drifted to a deep, calming sleep with Amara’s scent clinging to my skin.
A scream pierced the air.
I sat straight up, sleep clinging to me. A whimper sounded and my wolf was on full alert. I fumbled with the blanket that ended up wrapped around my legs as I slept. I got to my feet as another whimper sounded. My throat closed as I realized the sound came from the room Amara was supposed to be sleeping in. I walked over and gripped the door handle, throwing it open. The door slammed against the wall and bounced back like it was going to close.
I stood in the doorway, my eyes wide and feeling wide awake all of a sudden. My mind couldn’t quite understand what the fuck was taking place in front of my eyes. I blinked, rubbing my eyes with both hands, but the scene in front of me didn’t go away. I didn’t get a chance to do much more than wonder what the fuck someone like me was supposed to do before the door behind me burst open. Sam was standing in the doorway, looking fierce.
My wolf pushed forward, recognizing her as a threat to our mate. We weren’t sure what was happening to her, but letting someone we didn’t really know or trust into the room wasn’t something we were going to let happen. Sam walked into the room, obviously intent on going to Amara. I stepped in the doorway, blocking her path completely.
“Dean, you need to let her through,” Luke said from behind Sam. I snarled, letting my canines show. Sam didn’t even meet my eyes. Her gaze was focused on the room behind me.
“Why?” I growled.
“Because she needs to help Amara. You need to do this for her. Step aside. Now,” Luke snarled. I growled again, but moved aside. Sam went straight into the room and stood next to the bed, staring down at Amara. I turned around, watching what was happening.
Amara was kneeling at the end of the bed, staring at the wall across from the bed. Her eyes were glowing a bright blue light and her hair was floating behind her like it was being blown back. Her arms were thrown out to her sides, her hands clenched into tight fists. Her mouth was turned down into a frown and there was a line in between her eyebrows. She was hyperventilating.
I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to understand what was happening. I glanced at Luke over my shoulder, noticing his concern and confusion that mimicked mine. I watched as Sam stood over Amara and settled a hand gently on her shoulder. Amara’s shoulders lowered slowly and the crease between her eyebrows smoothed out. Her arms lowered to her sides and her breathing evened out.
“Sam is connecting with her in the transcendental state, helping guide her through the process with as little pain as possible,” Luke explained in a low voice. I blew out a breath, relieved that Amara wasn’t in pain anymore, but still not really understanding what the fuck this all meant.
“Why is this happening?” I asked nobody in general. Luke clapped a hand on my shoulder, looking sympathetic.
“It’s not anything you or Amara did. This is simply the will of the Goddess and we have to abide by what she wills. It’s something Sam’s had to figure out on her own, but Amara has Sam to help her through it. It’ll be okay.”
“How did Sam handle it?”
“Not well, but she’s strong. She got through it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Be there for her. Wait for her to need you,” Luke responded, sounding exhausted. I turned to look at him, narrowing my eyes.
