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“Yes, you do.” He steps closer. “I haven’t promised you anything.”
“Is that what you think? That it all comes down to a promise? I don’t want a promise but stop the flirting and touching and digging into my personal life if all you really want to do is fuck me and toss me away.”
His eyes widen, then he blinks, appearing shocked by my words. I’m sure girls say filthy shit to him in the bedroom all the time. I don’t know why he’s so surprised.
When he doesn’t say anything, I continue my rant. “Put me in a category and leave me there.”
“Category?”
“Yes.”
We step closer to one another, but I place my hand on his chest to make sure he doesn’t come too close. He clasps his hand over mine. “Truth?”
I sigh, some of the fight leaving me.
“I have no idea where to put you.”
I nod and slide my hand out from under his. “This is stupid.” Circling around him, I step away.
He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest. “I do want you. So fucking bad it hurts. But I can’t promise you anything.”
“I’m not asking for a relationship. I’m asking for more than a one-night stand.”
“Is there a difference?”
“Yes, Carm, there is.” I give his chest a push and he takes a step back. “Welcome to the adult world where there are shades of grey, not just black and white. It’s called dating. We see if we even like each other. If we slept together, it doesn’t mean I’m looking for a damn ring, but I’m looking for a guy who won’t sneak out at three a.m. and I never hear from him again.”
“That’s not me. I don’t do relationships. I’m sorry.”
“You won’t, you mean.” I step forward and push him back again.
He rolls his eyes and blows out a breath. “Can’t. I’ll hurt you. I’m being a stand-up guy here. Why don’t you see that?”
I push my finger into his chest. “You’re a coward.”
He loses his balance and steps back so he’s out from under the covering of the deck. Rain pelts him, but he doesn’t step back toward me to seek shelter. Instead of retreating, I follow him out into the rain.
“You think you’re being a stand-up guy? Fine. Don’t flirt with me. Don’t make it appear like you can’t get me out of your head.” I poke him again and he says nothing, allowing me to do whatever I want. Which somehow infuriates me more.
Truth is, I want him to fight me back. The real truth is, I want him to fight for me.
All this aggression is coming from the fact that I allowed myself to be put into a position where I’m developing feelings for the exact type of man who has ruined my mother over the years. The type of man who charms his way into a woman’s heart only to brush her aside when he’s taken what he wants from her. I’ve fallen for Carm, and he hasn’t fallen nearly as hard for me. That’s the real reason I want to rip off someone’s head and toss it into the ocean for the sharks to snack on.
“Go to hell, Carm.” I push his chest and his feet teeter on the edge of the pool.
His eyes widen with fear and the certainty that he’s going in. I almost apologize and reach out to save him—until his cocky grin surfaces and he wraps his hand around my wrist, taking me with him right into the deep end of the pool.
