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I blinked. Wait a moment. Why was I thinking of Addie’s figure? No, no, no. I was nearly an engaged man. Anyway, she was too young for me. In addition, Fiona trusted me with her little sisters. I wouldn’t betray my best friend, even if I were so inclined. There was six years’ difference between us. Not unheard of by any means. But again, she was Fiona’s younger sister. I had no business coveting my best friend’s sister. What was wrong with me?
“Was Cym right about you?” Addie leaned her torso over the top of the fence. Buttercups kissed the whitewashed boards. In the pasture, horses grazed, tails flicking away flies and bugs. I turned slightly to take in the red barn. I’d thought of this very scene so many times when I was in the city, wishing I could be right here in this spot with the sun on my shoulders and the scent of wildflowers in the breeze.
“Right about what?” I asked.
“Do you have a girl back in New York City?” She spoke so quietly I naturally moved closer to hear her better and caught a whiff of rosewater perfume.
“Ah, right. Lena.”
“Lena? That’s her name?”
“Yes. Lena Masters.” The thought of Lena and all the complications of my life made me uncomfortably warm. I slipped out of my jacket and laid it over the fence post. Then I leaned my backside against the fence and adjusted my hat against the onslaught of late-afternoon sun.
“Who is she? What is she like?” Addie asked.
“She’s the daughter of a wealthy businessman. I don’t know her that well. Not like I do you or your sisters. But she’s beautiful and funny.”
“And you’re going to marry a girl you don’t know that well?”
“It’s necessary,” I said.
“But why?” Her eyes searched mine for answers.
How truthful should I be? Addie was young and innocent. Would she understand the predicament I found myself in? Perhaps she would. Addie was an old soul. She and Fiona shared the same sweet nature. However, with Addie, there was a fragility Fiona didn’t possess. Addie was too good for this world, I thought now, as I stole a glance at her face. She had turned away and was now looking out at the horses, pensive. A tenseness in her shoulders made me want to place my hands on her skin and rub away her worries. Good Lord, what was wrong with me?
I sighed, forcing myself to focus on answering her question. “My family’s in deep trouble…” I trailed off, unsure how to describe the mired mess in which I found myself.
“What is it? You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I won’t pass judgment on you. That’s not my job, after all.” She looked upward, in what I suspected was a silent dialogue with Jesus.
“My father wrote to me several months ago,” I said, patting my pocket again as if the letter were still there. “He asked me to save them. My family, that is. We’re in terrible straits. The estate is close to disrepair, almost inhabitable. Other than a few rooms, everything’s fallen to the rats. The staff is gone. They’re living day to day, never sure what the next one will bring.” I closed my eyes, nodding. The pain of what I had to do wilted me more than the warm sun could ever do. “A marriage has been arranged between her father and mine. A business agreement. If I marry Lena, Mr. Masters will save my family.”
She hung her head for a moment. A shudder rippled the back of her dress. “She’s rich? This Lena?”
“Very much so.”
“Like Papa?” Addie straightened and looked up at me.
“Many times more, I suspect. The Masterses regularly dine with the Vanderbilts. People like that. Rich enough that he could restore my family’s estate and everything around it. Wealthy enough to save my father from ruin.”
“Do you want to marry her? If it wasn’t necessary? I mean, are you in love with her?”
I turned all the way around to look at her squarely in the face. “I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t matter either way. Her family can save mine. In addition, he’s threatened me—if I don’t marry Lena, I’ll never work in publishing again. He has that kind of influence.” The weight of that fell heavily upon my shoulders. I slumped over my legs, bending in half and pressing my hands into my knees. “I’ve no other choice.”
“Why does Mr. Masters want you? It makes no sense.”
I sat down in the soft, dry grass and leaned against the fence, then patted the spot beside me. She sat next to me, her legs stretched out and the skirt of her dress falling at her ankles.
“It’s hard for you to understand, given where you live, but in New York, there are those who are in society and those who are not. New money is still shunned, even with the economy the way it is. The elite have snubbed Lena. Her father wants the world to open for her and feels that marriage to me would do so. They’re willing to pay for my family’s legacy, as if it makes them legitimate. Despite all the wealth, Mr. Masters cares what people think of him and his daughter. I find it strange, but I’m what he thinks will solve that problem.”
“Some people have a thirst for importance. Significance even.”
“Marrying me, with my pedigree, despite my lack of funds, gives them that. Or so it seems.”
“How tragic for all of you.”
“Yes. It is, actually.” A sadness settled on me. Even all these miles away and under this sky, I could not escape the reality of my life. I was no longer free. Maybe I’d never been.
She was silent. The sound of the children laughing drifted from the back of the house.
